Azzie

2008-02-24T14:15:00.002+08:00

It's about time I tucked my blogging days away - I think my life's pretty interesting and if anything should be done to it, it should be written in script format, and sent to a Hollywood director or published in a novel, not here.

Haha. Game over. At least meeting me in person would be far more interesting. I'd have more things to talk about, rather than referring to my blog all the time. =)

With that, I bid thee farewell.

2008-01-28T22:39:00.000+08:00

Been a while since an update came about eh? =)

Well, A lot has happened since the new year kicked off. All I've got to say is that I've a new lease on life, and I'm looking at the more positive side of things.

Trust me when I say this - I'm going to be less cynical and start being thankful for what I already have and be grateful for the things to come.

I'll tell you more later. hee hee!

2008-01-06T23:32:00.000+08:00

Firstly, a happy (belated) new year to all! Oh my my my my... my. I've really left my blog behind. Teehee. Doesn't matter. All in good time. =)

Anyway, gone is 2007, and now we are in 2008. New year was awesome. =) Owe it all to Jason, and if that's not clear enough... well... I had too much fun anyway.

So my new year's resolution? A few, really. I've cleared out more than half my wardrobe - I'm gonna dress a little bit more maturely this time around. Also, I'm trying to not take life too seriously - enjoy it while I can. Oh yes. And get a boyfriend, too. A good, good-looking, faithful boyfriend. Har har har. (I'm already setting my eyes on you, Mr. Darcy. =P)

There was this dress that I really really really love in Forever21, but the thing is it looks so typically something I'd already have in my wardrobe and whenever I think of it, I think of bathrobes, which kinda puts it off its purpose of being a kimono-ish dress in the first place. I'm considering whether I should blow a lot of money on it, or just leave it behind. GAAAAAA. It's cracking me in the head now. I've visited it twice and twice I left it behind. It's not the same when you're staring at it in the shop, and when you're thinking about it at home.

Crap. Now I know I shouldn't have left it behind. SHIT.

So lately, the reason why I've been enjoying myself a little too much...

I had an awesome Christmas evening with my family, singing my heart out (and sending my voice to oblivion) at Redbox Plus Pavilion.

Then I had an awesome new year's eve/new year's day celebration with Jason (who flew in the last minute and foiled all my plans with my family!!! XP) DEVAKHI YOU ROCK JELLY MOMMA! XP

And then... just check us all out at facebook to know what we've been up to all that time =_______= (really, thanks to Jason, I LOVE clubs now. SHIT bloody hypocrite oh well its the new year afterall time to change a few things).

This is the dress I was talking about (should I just forget about it completely? I know it'd be off the shelves in no time if I think too much and finally decide to get it!)

And last but not least... for clearing out my wardrobe, dear Callie gave me two Jco doughnuts, one of which I ate along the way back to my condo unit after leaving her with all my items. For once, I get to savour a JCrown doughnut, in which I only could dream of after staring at the menu as by the time I get to my turn in the queue, those doughnuts are nowhere to be seen.

See, early birds do get the worm. =_____= I obviously am not keen enough to be up and around in Pavilion in the morning. (So, be really good friends with early birds if you know you're never going to be one! LOL)

Hee. So that's pretty much all I got to report (on my pathetic but not so life) at the moment. =) Don't worry, be happy! =)

2007-12-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

Okay. So I haven't made much progress - but this I can tell you: I can't bear working in retail anymore. It pisses me off that not only do I have to put up with two-faced, sales-stealing, lying bitches (can you imagine a really, really sweet senior sales assistant being so nice to you but when you make sales, she adjusts the records as well as not tell you about the team diary which all previous sales are recorded, to find out later that your sales is considered hers, and that she will be making use of your commission? The other retail assistants know and yet they put up with it the entire time? HELLO WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL)... waiting for customers to actually enter the shop and wonder who should serve the customer when there is only one of them, and four of us, especially on weekdays had me wondering what on Earth am I doing in the ice-box when I could be using the time to do more productive things, like learning new recipes, reading books, hanging out with my sisters, cousins and friends. Even though there is the prospect of getting paid, but getting paid to do nothing but trap yourself in a hell of an icebox with nothing to do but stand up (you're not allowed to sit!!!) and wait all day, and demotivation upon the look on the face of those who are too friendly but actually up to no good... Gah. It's a holiday break and I think I'd prefer not to commit myself to total boredom. I don't think it's worth the pay even. That's why it's important to love your job! Can't wait to get my degree and do what I can with it! Anyway, I enjoy laying back, cooking and taking care of my two sisters. I've been cooking, cleaning, keeping tab of them and all sorts. Hee. =) Furthermore, I managed to participate in Comic Fiesta 2007. I didn't sleep the night before the first day of the event, just because I wanted to complete my costume to wear on that day. Stupid move, really, though having the costume had me completely satisfied. I had everything done myself (including the sewing, no use of sewing machine at all!!!) which kind of resulted in the ribbon that kept unbuttoning itself at the front of my dress. I didn't get to try it and adjust anything before the event, so I wore it there and then. Luckily it fitted well, but I had to be extra careful about my bra from showing up (which, thankfully, friends would remind me about it from time to time =_____= ARIGATOU!!!). I cosplayed Nodame Cantabile's main character, Noda Megumi, during her graduation day performance. Sadly, Nodame isn't known by many. =( Stupidly I did not take a single photo of myself in the costume which I am ever so proud of, but a friend did send me one, which was taken without me noticing =____=
Aaaa! The green-ness of the dress is ACID to my eyes! *LOL*And there were many awesome cosplayers on that day too - I'm kinda pissed off at myself for missing the second day, because I spent the day away by claiming back my lost sleep. =____= I woke up at 4pm, people!!! X_X MY phone camera does the cosplayers no justice. =( I'm sorry! TT_________TT So yeah, that about sums up what I pretty much had in mind on blogging. Christmas is in the air, and so is new year. I can't wait to celebrate!!! XP Anyway, before I totally sign off, there are a few more things that may (or may not) be of amusement. Yup, more language maladies and stuff to ponder about!!! It is scientifically proven that nuts of any kind is low in carbohydrates, but high in (good) fats and protein. However, 1g of fat gives double the amount of calories 1g of carbohydrate and protein would. Slimming nuts? Hmm. If you were to eat the entire container in a day or two, I don't think so. I guess I'd go into this shop, to come out after a pedicure or a manicure with only ONE nail looking 'gorgeous'. On the cover? 'LUV', on a COVER? Are you trying to copy the British slang or something? Or is this some kind of internet influence leaking on to prints?! There is a shepherd for mechanical animals along Jalan Bukit Bintang. You read right. Mechanical animals. A battery operated rhino, hippo... dinosaur? I couldn't really tell. Sorry the picture's bad... I took it while walking, and you know... camera phones. =_____= Nonetheless, check this one out. It appears to be some sort of a battery operated zoo/amusement park!!!

Oh yes, and I've discovered that my camera phone is capable of 'manual' editing. Check this out:

The 'manually' edited photo ... (as in, I didn't upload it to the computer and fix it there...)

Compared to the original, still image!!!

Toodle doo!! =)

2007-11-25T13:38:00.000+08:00

Okay. So, my break has been wonderfully entertaining so far. I have my youngest sister to babysit (and provide me some company at home =) ) and I've been looking for a part-time job to accomodate some of my free time, as well as enable me to reward myself with something. Ha! Got a bunch of interviews next week. So yeah.

So what have I been up to? Well, thanks to the 'infamous' Wade Doyle, I've not only stepped into a 'club', but I've discovered that you don't have to really know how to dance when clubbing. You can totally make a fool out of yourself and you know what? No one gives a damn! =) It's quite a relief. I still detest the amount of cigarette smoke there is around. Nonetheless, the loud music is just something to drown in. Was fun. Would consider going in again, but that would probably be next year or so. Haha! (this makes me such a hypocrite, but oh well. Damage done. Thanks Wade *slap*).

I had this look that spelled *WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE* but after a while, it was okay. Jumping up and down without the world to care yet there's so many people around was really fun. Plus, there was this hottie, his name is ***, he's kinda on my mind that night because he's just perfect in every way, except for the fact that watching him from a distance kinda sucked, and witnessing him kiss another guy (on the lips) and sticking two fingers down the back of a guy's trousers (eeks) plus leaving the place in the arms of a hot babe-girlfriend had us all confused. *slaps self*. Entertaining nonetheless. =)

Blaah. Okay. So what else? Hmm. Okay. Caught up with MaX before he rendevous-ed himself to Europe (have fun, MaX!!!), and on the very same day we saw a very familiar face/physique, only we were quite sure he wasn't cosplaying. =______=

With mum, I checked out The Gardens, Midvalley. Rather bare, but food's nice. Can't help to "glamorise" and "advertise" for Bakerzin Isetan's Souffle, which almost sent me to heaven. =)

Oh yes, and I couldn't help feeling a little bit nostalgic (and old) when I came across this notebook. It reminded me of the childhood days, when that Very Hungry Catterpillar bit a hole in everything, with 'real' holes through the cardboard pages of that book.

Oh, I also spotted Filbert on the shelves in a supermarket. Wait. Not just Filbert, but FilbertS!

Dedicated to my dear friend, Filbert! =)

So, what ELSE have I been up to? Haha.. Seeing that I've whipped up a number of photos, it means I've been 'bo-su-cho'ing - and I've also been entertaining myself by spotting the language (specifically English) maladies that can be spotted around the shopping malls (which, others would probably not give a damn about, but it humours me nonetheless). Let me share some with you. =)

Oh dear. Talk about pointing fingers.

Charming, I'm sure. =______=

I wanna share my liVEstyle with y'all! *LAMO-NESS*

Good ad. I don't even have to taste the food to NOT forget it! =P

I wonder which, lucky, rich, thing got fried. Then again, it may be a dish that promises wealth in its caloric (and fat) contents. =_____=

Okay, not much really, but it was a 'Slippery Wet Floor' sign in front of one of the toilets. Weary toes can rest here too. =)

So if I needed extra plates, I'll help myself to the ones under this one. Got it.

Gross. Not only are you expecting people to drink soap water, it's also sour.

Okay, not exactly a language malady, but makes you wonder why a five-foot way exists. It seems that it has a new purpose. Cars now have their place on the five-foot way, and people on roads.

And could it be, Rotiboy has growned up?!

2007-11-13T10:33:00.000+08:00

HALT! WHO GOES THERE?! SECURITY SYSTEM ACTIVATED!

"Wait! No no no! It's only me, it's only..."

*BANG-SHOOTS-DIES*

Okay okay, so I don't have a security system. And of all days I decide to 'think' and visit my own blog, it happens to be the day of my one and only outstanding final paper for media law. GAAAH. And I just woke up, exam is in 5 hours or so.

PR was shit yesterday. Don't want to think about it, it's all just done and over with.

Anyway, finally got down to seeing Wade's tag - and I guess I should um... respond to a tag? Lol.

LIST OUT THE TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR:
(a) Fully sponsored Unlimited, Lifetime Platinum credit card with my name on it >=)
(b) A walk-in closet constantly updated with the latest clothes and accessories
(c) Justin Timberlake
(d) (Now to the more realistic, lol) - An iMac/iBook + final cut pro v.X
(e) A dozen of different set of flowers delivered to me weekly

LIST OUT THE REASONS FOR YOUR CHOICES:
(a) Well, someone's gotta support my retail therapy =_____=
(b) I get bored of what's in my closet real easy, and I don't think it's big enough
(c) Which girl doesn't want Justin Timberlake? He can help me shop, even just for a day, it's good enough =)
(d) My current laptop is retarded
(e) I like flowers but it would be odd if I went to the florist every week to buy a dozen flowers for myself. =____= sadness.

THE PERSON WHO TAGG-ED YOU IS:
Jason/Wade

5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER:
(a) Short
(b) Talkative (way too, sometimes like a train)
(c) Party-goer
(d) Confused shop-a-holic
(e) (I'll never give this one up) - FULL of EGO =P

MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU:
Possibly the attempt of bringing from Sydney a chocolate muffin, which never got to me because he says he squashed it flat in his bag.

MOST LOVED INVENTION(does not need to be technologically advance):
The oven

Why?
Oh the wonders you can come up with - brownies, cakes, muffins, roast chicken, beef... *daydreams*

WHAT DO YOU DESPISE THE MOST:
Body Odour. Anything but that. EURGH.

6 PEOPLE YOU WANNA TAG:
I dunno. Wait... nah.

Whoever finds this tag interesting, I suppose. =)

2007-10-09T02:24:00.000+08:00

My life's been quite alright, I guess. Haha? Nothing too eventful these past few days, except probably the fact that I'm going to be home (as in, back in my hometown) for two weeks. I've been here since last Friday, and so far, nothing beats the peace I get at home. =)

Nonetheless, Kuching is definitely not a place for shopping. Three days ago I tried going around the city for shopping. 40 minutes and I finished touring the three shopping centres, and gave up feeling rather lethargic. I went for a hair wash and cut, which ended up with me getting almost completely brainwashed by the hairstylist and the world's most disastrous fringe has just gotten its way with mine. Luckily it's fairly more than one week away from raya (by then I hope some length has added to it).

My legs feel like two thick tree trunks now. In KL I had to walk a lot to get to places. Here, I don't even bother walking - I stay in bed most of the time. Ha! Yes I can be quite the sloth.

Oh yeah. Gotta go see the dentist tomorrow, and get a blood test done. Geez. I should have done that today, but I forgot. So yeah, it's gotten so lame I've decided to remind myself this way. Don't forget, Azzie.

2007-09-26T03:02:00.000+08:00

It's an abandoned blog, people!!! Oh well. Haha. It shows that I've been 'busy' with work (partially true, because I haven't much to report on, except the workload I've been getting and how it has made me un-bothered with updating the rest of the world on my little old boring life).

Anyway, I just got back from my hometown about two days ago. Frankly I do miss home, but too much of it can get boring, too. Nonetheless, I can't wait for Raya! Oh the festivities! The friends! THE FOOD!!!

I thought what happened on Monday was pretty blogworthy, and I think some (SOME) of my patience with KL public transport paid off.

It's pretty lame to blame laziness on the fasting season, but I couldn't be bothered when it came to paying a bit more for door-to-door service. I was up to catch an early flight back to KL, went to college, and took my sweet time to come back home. I took the cab from college to the Putrajaya ERL station, took a bus to KL Sentral, and took another taxi from there to my area.

Taxis being taxis, ones that you get from KL Sentral work with the purchase of coupons. The place where I stay is slightly off Jalan Bukit Bintang(BB), and obviously the coupon computer system does not have the little road that branches off BB. So it printed out a ticket that said, to BB. The guy at the coupon counter told me to liase with the taxi driver about the little road. OKAY.

So I got myself into a cab. I told the cabbie if he used Jalan Raja Chulan to get to my place, which is not far from Bukit Bintang at all, we can bypass the heavy traffic.

Cabbie: Oh miss, your ticket says Jalan BB. If I use Jalan Raja Chulan, the charge is different. I just use BB, then you tell me where to go ok?
Azzie: If you insist...
Cabbie stops at Jalan Imbi, which is near BB, but not quite.
Cabbie: Stop here ah?
Azzie: This is not even BB!
Cabbie: Then where you want to stop?
Azzie: I told you, my place is at Jalan Sahabat, very near BB...
Cabbie: Ah? Like that I charge you RM 5 more, ok?
Azzie (in mind): WHAT THE @#$%^&*
Azzie: No way. I paid the taxi to get to my place!
Cabbie: Your fault for not telling the coupon counter properly. This not my problem, yours la. So tell me where you want to stop?
Azzie: Since I paid to BB, you send me up to BB.
Cabbie: HAIYA. Wasting my time. You ah. Say like this for what? Could have avoid traffic, wasting my time.. wasting my time, nyek nyek nyek nyek....
*Azzie was too tired to argue, and SWEARS TO GOD that she kept quiet the entire time*
Cabbie goes on nyek nyekking.... until...
BANG!!!
Cabbie steps out, Azzie steps out, ends up dragging luggage back to condo. The cabbie has banged his car into the bumper of the car in front.
Cabbie: You fussy woman...
As if I said anything, you were the one fussing. PADAN MUKA (serves you right!!!)

And I walked home, feeling tired, but happy (sad, isn't it?). Haha. If you were me, I think you'd be ecstatic to walk home from there, escaping the traffic and the fuss.

2007-09-14T22:24:00.000+08:00

Okay, it's been an extreme while since I last blogged (right, I am exaggerating, as usual).

I'm currently overwhelmed with college work - it's been a while since I had so much work to do that I don't even know which one to do first. Garr!

Two days of fasting has passed and I realised how nice and flat my tummy is when I am in starvation mode, and how un-nice and round it becomes after 7.17pm. Double garr. Nonetheless, I'm practically lethargic most of the day... and at night, after loading up on food, the only thing I feel is... sleepy.

And thanks to my younger sister, I'm now officially addicted to Gulinggao ie. Chinese herbal jelly. Love it so much now. *sister shoots me in the head*

I haven't much to say, really. Gotta work!

2007-08-26T04:08:00.000+08:00

Okay, okay. So I haven't been blogging with a purpose... lol. Not that there's much to talk about, but the things that are really pissing me off (involving the management of the current university-college I am attending) should not be blogged about because sooner or later the university-college will find out about it and tell me to take the bloody post off the internet anyway. Well, if it gets too much and the university-college couldn't be bothered to solve their current issues soon enough, you might just see something in the Star/NST/MalaysiaKini or whatever news channel possible. Good luck, rotten people of *bleeeeeeep*

Anyway... trying to keep to optimism? Haha. Last Saturday I was at Cineleisure, trying to revive the love and connections I had for Manga/Anime. What I did was an attempt at cosplaying - for the very first time, and honestly, I couldn't really fathom the stares and looks I got for walking around... in a KIMONO. But I had my fellow friends, so it wasn't that intimidating.

Try and guess the character I was roleplaying (the piece of 'ginger' I was carrying on that day sure helped in identifying the character, I think XP)

Arigatou to Fenix for taking the photooos~ Very much appreciated nyuu!

Blueeeeek~ It was fun, and no matter how far off I am from pulling off the cosplay, it worked somehow, nonetheless =) I'm looking forward to CF at the end of the year, and this time round, it's so near my own place I don't have to worry at all ~~which I usually do because the usual locations are so far and so out of reach and so hard to come back from because it's in the middle of nowhere~~!

OKay... I think that's about all the update I can key in at the moment, my head's pretty blank from all the unnecessary stress I'm getting from the college. HMMPH. I'm turning GRUMPY these days. GRR.

2007-08-19T04:42:00.000+08:00

What's Your Reputation at Hogwarts? (26 different characters)

Goody Two Shoes Gryffindor:

House: Gryffindor

Best Friend(s): Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Gryffindors

Harry: Treats you like the sister he never had.

Ron: Gets sick of you spending all of your time with Harry. He once wrote you a love note, but decided it wasn't worth his friendship with Harry and threw it out.

Hermione: Hates that you get all of the attention and that you have no flaws at all.

Oliver Wood: Feels like his knees buckle every time you walk by.

Fred and George Weasley: Like to play pranks on you because everyone thinks so highly of you.

Seamus Finnigan: Thinks you get too much attention, but doesn't deny that you get his.

Neville Longbottom: Is smitten with you because of your high grade in Herbology.

Dean Thomas: Is amazed that you aren't cocky after all of the compliments you get everyday.

Ginny Weasley: Is jealous of your reputation as "Harry's Girlfriend" even though you don't date.

Parvati Patil: Asks you to help her study when she really only wants to find out something about you that she can spread around school. (But she never does).

Padma Patil: Follows you around everywhere so that people might think she's your friend.

Hufflepuffs

Cedric Diggory: Is sick and tired of you acting like you're better, but is glad to get out of the spotlight every once in a while.

Ravenclaws

Cho Chang: Thinks you're a teacher's pet.

Slytherins

Draco Malfoy: Dislikes you greatly and makes fun of you quite often.

Crabbe: Only knows you as "The Girl Draco Hates."

Goyle: Same as Crabbe.

Pansy Parkinson: Hates you.

Marcus Flint: Hates you because you have the ability to make fun of his Quidditch team since yours beats his every match.

Blaise Zabini: Doesn't bother getting worked up over you (but still dislikes you, none the less).

Teachers

Dumbledore: Always suggests that you should join the Order of the Pheonix.

Professor McGonagall: Sometimes lets you come to class late because she knows you can pick up on the missed material easily.

Professor Flitwick: Uses his magic to blow away paper airplanes the Slytherins throw at you.

Professor Trelawney: Predicts a happy, yet tragically short life for you.

Professor Snape: Despises you and you're fame.

Filch: Found a love note written to you and keeps it underneath his pillow.

Take this quiz!

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2007-08-16T22:51:00.000+08:00

Computer Tech Support

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one!

=================================

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
============== =
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

== =============
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars..

===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P"...on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

2007-08-16T01:11:00.000+08:00

The logic of things...

2007-08-09T18:00:00.000+08:00

You Are A Gold Girl

You're dependable and hard working. You never miss a deadline - and you're never late.
You have a clear sense of right and wrong. You're very detail oriented.
You get frustrated when your friends are sloppy - or when they don't follow through.
You're on top of things, and you wish that everyone else was!

What Color Girl Are You?

You Are a Mac

You are creative, stylish, and super trendy.
You demand the best - even if it costs an arm and a leg.

Are You a Mac or a PC?

2007-08-08T21:04:00.000+08:00

If I die tonight, it is of diabetes. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, walking around, and not a second of me is seen without either smarties, mentos or some ice-blended/slushie in either one (or both) of my hands.

It's true, I felt under the weather today. Being me, it wasn't too bad, but at the same time I wasn't up for much thinking processes and I did not sleep well the night before, but slept VERY well till 1pm in the comfort of daylight. After that, I just had to go out and look for something to eat (as I wasn't up for thinking of what to defrost, prepare and cook).

And this was how my sugar high started (and went on through the entire day), and now it's 9.10pm as I type this, just for the record.

The moment I stepped out of the house, I was nibbling and sucking on liqorice toffee (I have about a third of a packet left in the house now, mum brought me some from Kuching the trip before her last).

Decided to photocopy a few things first, so on the way to the shop, I bought three pieces of super-oily, super tasty cucur cempedak (cempedak fritter, cempedak being a local, sweet tasting fruit - look it up at wikipedia XP). I couldn't resist as I could tell it was cempedak the moment I caught a whiff of it in the air.

After sorting out the photocopies, I walked back to the same stall that sold the cempedak fritters and bought another three pieces. By the time I reached Berjaya Times Square, it has vanished and what replaced it was a Mango Tango (7-eleven slushie - there's a 7-e on the crossover bridge to BTS).

Walked around a bit, looking for a white button down shirt for my younger sister. By the time the slushie was finished, my tummy was grumbling so I went to McDs to get myself a Spicy McDeluxe. After that, got myself a Choco-top cone sundae, and walked around a bit more.

Felt lethargic so couldn't help sitting myself down at Teppanyaki to get myself a bowl of Fuji Snow (Ais Batu Campur/shaved ice with all-sorts).

Got up and walked around REAL SLOWLY. Tried looking at the arcade, but felt like I had no energy to play anything so walked away (GASP). Saw cotton candy outside the arcade, hadn't had one in a long time, so bought one, and a tube of fruity mentos to go along with it.

Felt like nothing is fun at Times Square so moved to Sungei Wang. On the way, managed to grab 5 pieces of keropok lekor (equivalent to... churros, only savoury).

OK, so there was a short break here... but by 6pm my tummy was demanding for more food... so I headed to Teppanyaki (Sungei Wang this time) and ordered a Salmon Teppanyaki and couldn't help but get another Fuji Snow. Substituted as a drink! >___< (Lame, I know, but it's true).

Walked around feeling full at the tummy, but it wasn't long before I was heading to Cup-bon to grab an Earl Milk Tea, ice-blended... and with that in hand, I walked around a bit more, reminding myself of what I needed to get from the supermarket... and after finishing the cup-bon, I slowly consumed two boxes of Smarties while grabbing other stuff off the shelves in Giant.

After grabbing all the RAW essentials, I decided to head home. On the way home, managed to grab a small bucket (BUCKET!) of popcorn. I thought it was caramel but it wasn't JUST caramel, there were also peanuts and walnuts in it, which at first I mistook as ULTRA-BURNED and LAVISHLY COATED popcorn (till I realised the frequency of its appearance was too 'nutty' to be true).

And now I'm home, feeling pathetically high from all that sugar... oh and yes, I have my internet connection back. Wheehee~

My face, is rounder than the full moon. Waa. Can't help it~ now the dog's barking at me...

2007-07-30T21:21:00.000+08:00

Your Inner Color is Orange

Your Personality: A total daredevil, you'll try any thrill. You're easily bored and you prefer to be on the go.
You in Love: You see love as an adventure, and you find most men dull. You need someone who challenges you!
Your Career: Your ideal job is flexible, fun, and maybe a little dangerous. You have the makings of a private investigator or extreme athlete.

What's" Your Inner Color?

2007-07-30T16:10:00.000+08:00

Ah. A new semester, 4 new subjects. Garr. I know I should have been in college today, but I have another two days of work here in this ~~boring old~~ shop so might as well finish it off as my contract with the company as a full-timer is up till the end of this month.

I wonder if I should stick to the company for a part-time job. They're opening a new outlet in Pavillion (which is SO MUCH nearer to my place) in September - so I get one month off, which is GREAT! Haha.

Finally I can arrange my day-to-day schedule a little bit better, and probably can squeeze in some decent exercise for once! LOL. And away from all the ~~junk~~ good food I am exposed to every single desperate minute of a day at work... and back to the usual extortion in college. Oh well.

So now I'm doing a little bit of reflection, and frankly, I miss home. Yes, I miss Kuching. I miss my family even though mum/dad stops by KL quite often, even though my sisters come to KL during the holidays, nothing beats home. Home is home, and even though my younger sister has conquered my room ~~and turned it into a sty~~, and that the garden is overpopulated with weeds and browning leaves, the garage with lizards, my tiny car waiting for me to beat it up for a drive, it's still comforting to me. I know I'll be bored of Kuching after one or two weeks, but heck, I crave for that one or two weeks.

Food is now a sin. Finish this job and I'm gonna put myself on some dicipline eating regiment. No more junk for sometime. Ok, maybe like, minimise on it? I gotta save some money too. At the moment, I'm spending waaaay more than what's going in the bank. =____=

Gah. Someone bang me on my head. I'm... bored, again.

2007-07-22T11:08:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, two men stepped into the shop, and asked me if I remembered them.

"No... YES! Haha. How are you?"

These two guys asked me for the name of the girl who had long hair and long eyelashes. Now, my supervisor and the beeeeetch have the same rough description. But when the Iranian dude said this woman reminded him of the women in Iran, I immediately thought of my supervisor, as the beeeetch is more Eurasian looking.

"Did you know what happened the other day?"

I gave them a blank look, because I had no idea what they were actually referring to. The last time I saw them was the first time I met them, and that day they were just interested in knowing the Iranian girl's name.

"Oh no no. We came into the shop the other day as customers. She just sat at the counter, and we needed help in knowing the product. So we approached her, and immediately she snapped at us, "Sorry, I'm engaged" and after that totally ignored us. Oh plus, you gave us the wrong name".

I didn't know whether to look sympathetic or snort and drown in my own laughter. I just kept quiet, and they looked at me and said, "We learned. Never judge a book by its cover".

LOL. Did they come to talk to me like I was some kind of shrink? LOL. The beeeetch is the psychiatrist in training, and look, her first few customers are already running to me.

What startled me was the kind of snobbish confidence this beeetch had in herself to think that guys are only talking to her because they 'want' her. My supervisor did tell me the other day she had a weird conversation about having more guy friends than girl friends (she had this conversation with me before, and repeated it to the beeetch on my off day).

"Aiyo, kak *censored to protect identity*, saya tak boleh berkawan dengan lelaki lah."
(Oh my, kak *bleeep*, I can't have friends who are boys)

"Ha?"

"Sebabkan dia orang, bukannya nak berkawan dengan I. Dia orang semua nakkan I".
(It's because they all don't want to befriend me, they all want me.)

I'd puke to hear this out of her own moving mouth. I admit, she's very pretty (and matchstick thin), but her attitude/behaviour is the ugliest thing you'll ever see on this entire earth, and I got these two guys plus my supervisor to back me up on it.

Nuff said, What goes around comes around. That's why I love Justin Timberlake too. =)

2007-07-21T12:21:00.000+08:00

OK. So like, when you're depressed... what do you do?

For me, it's binge eating. Last night I had 1.7l of ice-cream and almost a loaf of white bread while placing myself on the couch, watching the television (which wasn't really the highlight since I don't even remember what channel/what show I was watching but it was on and watching itself anyway).

I called up the university for my results, which was supposed to arrive via mail but I haven't received it anyway. Next week's the registration for God's sake! What drove me to such disappointment was that I got a C for journalism/broadcasting. I don't know what I did wrong, and I really pushed myself last semester. I don't understand, and the lecturer cannot be contacted for some reason. I want to know why, why, why? I thought I did very well, in fact I did far more than anyone else, going out to the city to cover events and looking for REAL anonymous people on the streets for my voxpop. BUT WHY WHY Why am I near failing?

I'm not even bothered about exercise, not bothered that I could barely button/zip my trousers this morning, not bothered that I got a copy of HP7 early this morning (it's now sitting there, Harry, Hermione and Ron shocked to see that I am not bothered to flip any of the pages open), and my mouth is constantly chewing (now on smart aleck from Bread Talk). Oh hell.

2007-07-17T19:21:00.000+08:00

Did anyone tell you how awesome Heroes (the TV series, not the movie starring Jet Li) is? IT'S SUPER AWESOME. I'm like on a marathon - finally gotten down to actually switching those dvds on. I had an eight-episode straight run-through, and I wished I didn't have to go to work today coz I wanted to continue watching! (YATTA!!!) I love the plot, the style, the mise-en-scene, the hot looking dudes (Peter Petrelli/Isaac-the-artist... hot hot hot!!!)

Only God knows how boring this job is getting...

*cough*

Anyway, I had the morning shift yesterday so I had the opportunity to do a little bit of grocery/pharmaceutical shopping and I finally managed to top up the kitchen rolls, (which I so so so desperately needed) fruits and minimal snacks. I also managed to get hold of some herbal teas, which someone I met randomly on the bus commented that a young girl like me should not be losing hair or sleep (I quote from the dude: "Aiyo. Young girl like you lose hair like this, your boyfriend also run away later." Hmm. Maybe that's why I don't have one in the first place?). He recommended that I should get hold of lavender tea, but so far I haven't come across the actual thing. So... herbal tea would do for now. Someone else did recommend Nature's Farm/GNC to look for the tea, but I think I'll wait for my day off to visit those stores (tho technically i could just waltz two shops to the left and GNC would be there, but there's no hurry).

Strangely also for the past few months, I haven't been sleeping in my own bed. I used to, but now I prefer just falling asleep on the bean bag in front of the TV. I find it more comfortable there compared to my bedroom. Even then, as I try sleeping in my bedroom, everything feels super awkward that I don't actually fall asleep. At the most I keep my eyes shut. What the heck is wrong with me?

I'm currently craving for a slice of any cake. I need cake. Someone, get me a slice of cake! I'm alone in the store and abandoning it would be most unwise. Then again, Breadtalk is only three stores to the right... OH! Gloria Jean's just opened twenty steps from this store. I've already spent RM 15 there today, and I just hope I don't repeat myself tomorrow... or I'll be dead broke, if not, on OD. ~~Then again I love coffee to death. GO AWAY!~~

PLEASE SOMEONE ANYONE ENTERTAIN ME I'M BORED TO DEATH!!!

2007-07-15T20:16:00.000+08:00

Good Lord. Why doesn't anyone step into this shop? I could rot here to death and not be noticed at all. Can't wait to get back to college (my registration's on the 26th of July. Whipee!!! Wait, where's my last semester's results?!)

Last Friday I went out with Calista. It was fun - it has been such a long while since I managed to catch up with anyone. The both of us were hoping Wade would just drop in from nowhere. We went to Sunway Pyramid, and as tempted as I was to ice-skate, it had to be saved for another day. We caught Harry Potter and to be honest, the movie was not bad at all, but it has definitely gone soft (thanks to JK Rowling really). All the action and thrill's sucked out (save the last part which looked like some war was going on, wand pointing and all) - compare it to the 4th movie with the dragons, mazes, clues to unravelling Voldemort's plans on rebirth and so on... you know what I mean. That's why my favourite book has been the 4th one all along (and I've read it over the most number of times compared to the others - 12 times!).

We also went to the arcade, where Cals and I played some shooting game. I surprised myself as I survived longer than 5 seconds (as opposed to the last time I tried a shooting game in the arcade). Cals survived longer, and I spent the last token looking murderous on Para Para Paradise as if I were karate-chopping the air trying to dance to the ting-ting-tong-tong songs.

My stomach's full (two donuts and a mocha latte from Dunkin Donuts was last in - promo man, who wouldn't?), I'm getting sleepy...

Who could blame me for coming online illegally to check my e-mail, chat, bla bla bla...

Oh and do tell me if anyone finds this funny... because in my e-mail, someone had put the subject as "Funny Pictures".

Dedicated to the x-bitch of TNS. I think this is probably what she's aiming for? I know that's NOT my ideal. I just wanna get rid of 'em unsightly bumps/flabs, flat abs (in other words look hot, and the one above is just NOT HOT) I think even my almost flat chest is more flattering than the above.

I got myself some stepping machine to exercise at home and some wheel thingy so I work a little bit on my stomach area. So far... my stomach area kinda hurts (after three days of using the wheel thingy) but I do hope it's not mainly coz I've been eating a lot. =_____= Well it's a start.

Ok lah. Better start summarising whatever sales done today. At least I can leave exactly at 10pm after faxing the daily report. I mean, if ANY customers come in to buy stuff later, I can just plus-plus to the daily report and stuff. Gah.

I might just get happier these days.

2007-07-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

Okay. I'm getting a little bit more serious here - my life has got to change. It really has got to.

It's pretty late for a new year's resolution, but something's gotta give. I don't agree with my current lifestyle, ever since I started working at the natural source. Coming back late, waking up late (night shift), waking up early, going home late (grocery shopping and such), and sorting out laundry and cleaning up the house (which has been futile effort), and eating enough to feed a starving country - I even have this habit where I wake up in the middle of the night and will not go back to sleep unless I eat something (always some milk and cookies, or you can even catch me frying eggs and popping pop corn in the dark of the night).

1. I'm gonna buy exercise equipments to keep in the house.

This is so that I don't have to struggle with the opening and closing times of the gym at my condo, and not to make a fool of myself in front of the other condo occupants. I seriously need to do something about my 10kg weight gain. I want good, flat abs too.

2. I'm going to stop charging to the card till the end of the month.

I gotta curb the shopping-till-I-drop habit. Even my wallet's dry and now that I've reviewed all my receipts, a lot of it went to food. Damn this shop for being on the same floor as all the FNBs and damn it for being so damn boring that all I think of is food (come on, Burger King is just 30 steps away, Kenny Rogers is literally next door, and just one minute will take me to Beard Papa's, 1901s, Chicken Rice, Pizza Hut, KFC, Dominos... OH SHUT UP. Jusco's Niku Niku kitchen is not helping either...)

3. I'm not gonna buy any more snacks to keep in the house.

So I can't get up in the middle of the night and start nibbling. I'll just keep the water/beverages... hahaha. (It's not funny actually - I doubt this will work. But I gotta try).

4. Take better care of my skin.

The amount of make-up I use is getting too much (due to work) and I think it's taking a strain on my skin (pimples, pimples, pimples!!!) Plus all the unhealthy food and habits...

5. Give my feelings and spontanity (is that even a word?) a chance.

No elaboration on this one. =)

2007-07-11T11:16:00.000+08:00

I can never understand what is it with people and...

CREDIT CARDS.

Just within this week alone, I can't remember how many times I've been flocked by people (who are associated to some bank from somewhere) asking me if I 'have a credit card' and 'would you like another one'?

They don't just leave you alone when you say, I have one/two already, thanks. THEY FOLLOW YOU UP TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH! Just pass one by and he/she will follow you till you are really frustrated.

Even sitting in the ever-so-boring shop, a few of them walk in, asking me if I wanted a credit card.

"Miss, can I interest you in getting a credit card?"

"I already have one thanks."

"Get another one lah-"

"One is enough."

"You only have one meh? Mastercard or Visa?"

"I already have one, it's good enough..."

"This design nicer miss, you should take this one. Very nice!"

"I'm already (un)happy with my card..." (coz it's an evil thing, it doesn't stop you from shopping till you drop, I can drop more than 14 times in a month).

"but this one different worr. Yours from which bank?"

*BLEEP*

"Aa. Different what. Get another one lah!"

*feels like throwing a brick at her head*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OKay. So this approach is more, gentle (coming from a young lady and all). This one came from a male specimen of the species...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*walks quickly in front of supermarket, wanting to do some grocery shopping*

Miss! MISS!!! NEED A CREDIT CARD?

*turns to look while walking*

"NO THANKS!"

"YOU GOT CREDIT CARD OR NOT?"

*reaching entrance of supermarket, guy follows*

"GOT!"

"ONE ENOUGH? THIS ONE BETTER!"

*grabs shopping basket*

"IT'S OK THANKS!~"

"MISS THIS ONE THE RATES BETTER COME HAVE A LOOK LAH!"

*is inside supermarket already, so is the dude*

"I ALREADY GOT ONE OK? BYE!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seems like the bank likes it when people spend compulsively and end up owing the bank this and that. Pfft. Just when the government keeps reminding us to spend 'smartly'/'wisely', why not kick all these people to the can or something? It's really not helping us spend 'smartly'/'wisely'. Usually these people don't flock me to this extent (till they look like they wanna assist me with grocery shopping?) and in a week, I get like, 4 at the most asking me if I want to apply for a credit card... but this week, it's only Wednesday and I've gone past 4. WTF.

Despite saying this and that about being happy with one card, why push it so far? As if annoying your customers will get you what you want them to do. I'm not a good specimen to be pissing off, I think the next time I'm flocked to this extent I'll just snap. RAWR.

2007-07-09T11:12:00.000+08:00

OK. So like, I'm so happy, like the bitch is let go from work. Yeah, it has been so since the end of last month. GOOD for all of us, we're all happy. :)

Anyway, not much to update, only the thing is I'm debating with myself if I should chuck the weighing scale in my house into the bin. I came back from a weekend with my aunt and cousins, and I now weigh a hefty 65kgs (Oh dear) and I can't really deny that as my clothes DO feel very, very, tight (I feel kinda pregnant, tho I can assure you that is not the case as abstinence has been my policy all this while ^^;).

And for once, things are taking a little turn. I think. On my way up to my condo unit/place, a German dude (who resembles the guy who lives with the mother in Arrested Development - can't recall his name but he has round glasses and has a thing for older women? LOL) asked me out for dinner/drink. I dunno, at least he looks kinda normal. Not only that, I'm just afraid he could be just a little younger than my dad?! EEps. I REALLY DUNNO AND I'm SO SO SO CONFUSED. Even then, when he spoke to me on the lift, I was snacking on McDs fries, and with my slightly oily-and-salivated fingers he wanted to give them a shake. What a first impression. =______=

Maybe the extra weight and bundle of food is what appeals to men. HA HA HA! Or maybe he wanted some of my fries, that's all.

2007-06-28T11:04:00.000+08:00

Gar. When I look back at all my posts, everything looks just so extra negative. GARR.

Then again, what brighter side can I actually look at?

...

...

Dad's here in KL till Saturday, I think. Whee!

...

...

Hmm. I'm out. Now, ON TO PRESSING ISSUES.

I don't think I've ever disliked anyone to this extent - I think this is the first time I've gone as far as to hate someone. Today, the bitch is not coming to work (her off day) and I'm SO blardy thankful for that. I was so happy I baked brownies to celebrate the occassion (seriously). I wanna share it with my pals at work without the bitch who would probably proceed to accusing me not only to be full of fat, but the maker and provider of all evil fats in this world. *rolls eyes*

Every single day I hear her whining, calling people fat, unfair, 'stealing' sales from 'other people' aka her, fat in the food, wanting to eat this, that, that, this, but in the end doesn't eat anything, and calls anyone who eats the ABC (which is my must-have everyday), full of fat. She is a blardy hypocrite as she buys one everyday too, only she scrapes the top bit of ice and claims that she can't finish the rest, leaving the container full of its remains to rot in the store (PURE BITCH). Myself and my supervisor would cry looking at the container, no matter how dumb it sounds. I've rubbed the habit on to my supervisor and my other colleague, who works part time. The moment the waiters/waitresses see my face they know what I want - FUJI SNOW! Ha ha ha.

Yesterday she brought up this corny topic about trying to persuade a customer to make a purchase - the customer says he/she will return. We have this take-turn system where when customers step in, it has to be a particular someone who serves the customer at a time. Now, if this customer really returns, who gets the sales? The person who's turn it is when he/she returns, or the person who was trying so hard to persuade her to purchase? Ding dong.

I quoted an example. I said there was one day when I was persuading a customer to purchase a sunblock and eye gel, but she said she will return later. My shift ended, and my part-time colleague told me that she did eventually return, but of course the sales went to someone else (the bitch). Oh, the bitch interrupted me at this point, 'EXCUSE ME. OK. You overtook my turn. Even (the part-time colleague's name here) agrees it was my turn to serve her. You stole my customer so I deserved that sales ok?'

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? At this point my supervisor was rolling her eyes, and I said, "I just wanted to use that as an example, hello"

"Ya. But why do you have to use that as an example? It's embarrassing other people!" (ie her lah, the bitch).

"Fine. I won't say anything."

"Ya. You better shut up."

WHAT THE FUCK MAN! My supervisor comforted me then, saying that the bitch is just a bitchy bitch and can't be in the wrong for one bit. RICH BRAT yet everything is sooooooo in her 555 book or something. It's not like I really really really want that sales anyway. It's just one lousy freakin sunblock and eye gel. I JUST WANTED TO USE IT AS AN EXAMPLE.

So now we're not in talking terms. Which I think is just fine anyway.

Yesterday I left the shop, chatting with my sister on the phone, and realised I forgot to check my shift for the next day. Reluctantly I returned to the shop, when the bitch was making another sale. I looked at the timetable, and the bitch, being a bitch, wanted to take a paper bag, which I happened to be in the way, but there was enough space for her to actually take the bag out, but she rolled her eyes, and said in a pissed tone, "EXCUSE ME!"

~~FUCK THE BITCH I HOPE YOU DIE IN A CAR CRASH TODAY. I DON'T CARE.~~

God, look what's happening to me. I'm so full of angst I'm actually wishing for someone else other than myself to die. Wow.

I know I shouldn't be like this, truth be told I can't bring all these words out of my mouth and into my actions. I guess it's ok to just blurt it out here, because it's all taunting me in my head - this psychiatrist wannabe is driving me insane. ~~If she gets a job in the future I hope she doesn't earn anything coz she drives/encourages her patients to commit suicide.~~

Lemme just indulge in my fat-full brownies. Too bad for her, she's missing out! BLUEEK. We all hate you. Go away!

Much I don't understand

2007-06-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

There are a few things that have been in in my mind and around me, and I'm starting to feel very confused, or very insecure about myself.

Being conscious about my image has been my weakness for quite sometime, and the way things are going I think it's getting worse. Part of me feel like quitting work at tns, but part of me says quitting is just being chicken. One of my colleagues is so petite and pin-thin, yet she still insists on losing two kilos. She and the supervisor are so familiar with slimming teas and pills it just makes me feel sick to know that I wasted my time cycling on a bicycle, swimming in the pool, running on the treadmill, eating loads of fruits and vegetables to the extent that dad lectured me about how the human teeth are designed to take meat as well.

Slimming pills to them is like looking at the back of their hands. This-phen and that-tea, I don't even know what language they are speaking despite the fact that I've studied chemistry once before. Two-weeks-5-kilos, wearing jeans that are sized 27-28 (I barely fit those!), and hearing my petite-pin-thin colleague desperate to lose two kilos makes me feel like a morbidly obese being (Arlyne, you would know which colleague I'm talking about - she approached you before I returned to the shop after my break).

I asked this colleague of mine, how much she weighed. 42kg, as I remember. She's less than 10cm shorter than myself, and she wants to lose 2 kgs. I'm 62kg. 20kgs heavier. Is that why I'm not employed as a part-time model, like herself? Is that why I do not have my ideal boyfriend? Is that why I have such bad luck with freaks wherever I go? (okay that was mean but I just don't know how to classify the people I've had misfortunate encounters with).

To make matters worse, she makes such a big deal about what she eats - she lists whatever she ate throughout the day, and even though I protest against it, she does the same for me. My list would be double her list, and that's only after tea time. She would go "Tsk, azzie, you have to stop eating for the day!". Whaaat.

The more I think of this, the more I feel that I should eat. Doesn't make sense, does it? I visit Beard Papa's and Teppanyaki just about every tea time now. Don't even get me started on my complete meals.

Work has been effing boring as in a weekday, it has gone to a point where only two customers stepped into the shop during my shift. Due to the amount of time I spend listening to the same bunch of songs (the cd player in the shop will not play any other disc than Rihanna's or Robbie Williams and one particular mix), I've had the stupidest bunch of conversations ever:

A: May I help you with anything?
Customer: Yes. I'm looking for body shampoo.
A: *thinks for a while* Would that be for hair or for body?
Customer: I mean, body wash.
A: Oh. These are all the body washes we got. *points to shelf with many bottles of body wash/gel/bubbles*
Customer: I want the one with crystals in it.
A:... *takes a while to think* These types? *points to bath rocks*
Customer: No no, never mind. *walks out*
A: *stunned*

Customer: Excuse me, my husband just had a bout of flu, so his ears are still quite blocked. Do you have anything that can ease up the wax a bit?
A: *thinks of how to respond* Err... sorry, we actually sell hair, face and body care products... so I don't think you can find any of that sort here... *stupefied*

Customer: Excuse me, do you sell sliced soap?
A: ... *thinks of and shows the soap bars*
Customer: No, not this one... the one *does the slicing action with one hand on some invisible antity on the palm of the other*
A:...

Customer: Ya I'm looking for the shampoos...
A: Oh they're over here. *points at bottles*
Customer: Eh, where's the wheat?
A: It's one of the ingredients used in the shampoo
Customer: NO, I meant the one I bought previously had one wheat stalk inside it. This is not the one lah. *walks out*
A:.... *stupefied yet again*

Customer: EH! Last time I came here I bought the whitening cream arr. How come I use, I keep getting darker?
A: Hmm.. which one is it?
Customer: This one *points to the whitening concentrate*
A: Do you stand under the sun often or a lot during the day?
Customer: Of course lah!
A: Do you use sunscreen?
Customer: What's that?
A:... Sunscreen protects you from getting burned by the sunlight. This whitening cream doesn't. So you stand under the sun a lot, you use the whitening cream, you won't get the whitening effect, because the sunlight is going to burn you anyway...
Customer: Ya kah? Aiyo. So what do I use then?
A: *points to whitening moisturizing cream with UVA/UVB Sunscreen*

There is someone I keep thinking of, but he's literally out of my reach/sight. I don't want to, and I find it ridiculous that he should be involved in my daily thoughts, but somehow everything always falls back to him. I'm annoyed with him at the same time I kinda adore him. Why Why Why Why Why? It's so annoying, because most of the time our conversations are either insulting one another or putting each other down. But that's the cute thing about it, see

2007-06-08T01:38:00.000+08:00

Fearing Malaysian Public Toilets

1. You know when one is nearby - just follow your sense of smell.

2.It is a rare sight to see the toilet seat un-cracked/footprint-less. (Makes you wonder what a toilet seat is actually for).

3. Despite the whole hi-tech-savvy outlook of those new in-the-middle-of-nowhere-comes-a-public-toilet units scattered around the city centre, there is a person wedged somewhere in the middle collecting your twenty cents.

4. Never are its surroundings dry.

5. There was once I witnessed how the cleaners clean the toilet - by using the mop to mop up the wet floor, they also use the same mop to wipe the toilet seat (this was one of the shopping malls in KL, by the way).

6. Wonder how some people can leave the toilet without flushing it and not feel guilty about it.

7. The cleaners have hideouts in the vicinity of the toilets. Despite the authentic smell, I admire the fact that some of them can still enjoy their buns and pastries in such environment.

8. Some public toilets have the cheek to ask you to pay an entrance fee, promising that they'll keep the toilets clean for you. What's with paying 50 cents to access a no-toilet-paper, no-soap, all-wet-all-over-the-floor, dysfunctional-locks kind of toilet?

9. Last but not least, I feel the pressure, whenever I use the washroom, I hear some girls once in a while, forcing themselves to throw up. How STUPID.

2007-06-02T06:43:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through the photos on my phone when what I saw suddenly made me realise that some of the photos were taken to be shared with... all. :)

Before I forget - Happy Birthday Fenix!!!

Ezel, MaX and I came across this while waiting to be seated at Tony Roma's, an hour before we went to watch Wild Hogs. MaX+Ezel . o O (Sex change?!) Azzie: ... (Fenix, you're welcomed to react as explicitly as you wish to this, lol).

As for our adventure to Tony Roma's (by recommendation), we were first taken aback by the prices, but little did we know...

RM19 for salad (give and take, 10%+5% taxes) was this huge a portion (compare with fork, which length was close to 30cm and 3.5cm wide) lavished with generous slices of grilled chicken breast meat. Happy!

Every individual item on MaX's dish was about the size of his palm.

Regretting that I did not document Ezel's reaction to his dish and asking the waitress twice to confirm that this was the dish he ordered, there were six pieces of breaded chicken breasts altogether, which was roughly the size of MaX's cellphone each.

We ended up dumping a bit of everyone's dishes on each other's plates, and even then were struggling to finish up our portions. I wanted popcorn for the movies, but unfortunately I didn't have the space. TT_____TT Dessert was so so so so so temptingly delicious, but... we ain't got no space, we ain't orderin'. DX

Forget being happy about the portion size, it was also deliciously... delicious! Haha. Ezel and MaX even had a sauce-decorating/serving competition (as we were to help ourselves to four different types of sauces).

This was Ezel's...

And this was Max's. Max argued that his won the competition as he had added parsley in the centre of it all (so it's prettier). =_____="

Sigh. I've turned into a typical blogger! Aaaa help! LOL. Nah, just for the fun of it. :)

2007-05-29T05:53:00.000+08:00

I have been cutting myself off from the internet for almost a week - but there's a good reason for that. Not that I really intended to, but I now work full time for this semester break, and so far I've been staying at the shop long enough to make me not bothered to do anything by the time I get back. I get home as late as midnight - not that I can help it, since I've been left to close the shop and summarise everything for the day.

Today was my off day and frankly, it was shit of a day because:

1. I pissed my store manager off because I reported that there was RM10 missing from the cash register as compared to the supposed amount made for the day.

Actually, I don't have to apologise to her. But I did, because she said I shouldn't have blown the matter out of proportion as to report it to the boss. Hello, you left me with the store all alone, and when I encountered a problem, I called you as you said to but you didn't answer the call. I smsed you but you didn't reply. Your associate sent my call straight to voicemail. What else was I supposed to do?! EFF you. If I didn't report, then it would be blamed on me that RM 10 is missing, when I know I didn't take it. It's your fault for taking change from the register and not replacing it.

2. The Chinese guy who asked for my number when I was at the arcade the last time smsed me to 'meet up'. Apparently he had more in mind.

He said to meet him and his friends at Times Square. I said I'd go there when I feel like it - I had no obligation to this meeting of his. Oh dear. How very wrong I was.He can barely speak English, and had to aid himself with the translation dictionary he had on his phone. When he met up with me, I was wondering where his 'friends' were. He was alone, and when I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, 'meeting'. WTF.So I stood there, and so did he. His breath STUNK LIKE SHIT.

After a while he took out his phone, with the words 'to take stroll' shown on its screen. Honest to God, I did not even want to be seen with him.

He asked me: What is your personality? Hmm. Should I even start listing out my personality for you? Geez. Go figure.

I was plain annoyed with him as his breath STUNK LIKE SHIT and yet he followed me like some stray puppy desperate for some attention. I asked him what he wanted, then he said again, 'meeting'. WTF.

I walked, and he followed. He kept quiet for quite sometime, and I hated the fact that he was following me around. I stopped, turn around, and asked him, "Look, what do you want to do?"

"Anything. We meeting."

GO fuck yourself.

So we walked (YUCKS). After a while he asked me, "You have boyfriend?" Wow. That's probably the clearest of your sentences that you've said so far.

"Why do you ask?" I said. His reply? "Because I don't have a girlfriend."

Oh My God. If you looked half as hot as Orlando Bloom or Captain Jack Sparrow, I would probably understand your ego. Unfortunately, you're nowhere close, and your breath STUNK LIKE SHIT, and yet you expect me to hold hands with you?! Go Eff yourself.

Oh wait it gets better. He found that it's ok for him to start tapping on my shoulder frequently. The last straw was when I was at Cold Storage, I yelled at him. "You're annoying! Just go!!!" (He wanted to go to the toilet).

After that when I looked at him I think he was about to cry. I know what I did was mean, but seriously, with his SHIT breath, I think what I did was liberating.

I hate my life.

2007-05-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

I think I've hit an all time low in my life and I really feel like someone should just kill me in my sleep tonight. I don't know how I'm going to face tomorrow and the whole world anymore.

I started working at The Natural Source, Midvalley Mega Mall. While my colleagues speak of stupid boyfriends, dumb relationships and boys, I found it so hard to relate to them, and I have nothing to share with them when they invite me to sit down and converse. I listen, but it saddens me so much that I can't participate in their conversations. All I kept telling myself was it's okay, I'll find the right person one day, it's just not now.

A few days ago, a mis-aligned-teeth, small-eyed, couldn't-really-speak-English, pole-worthy guy approached me to ask me for my phone number. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY of all people? WHY?!?!?!?!

Stupidly I bought a weighing scale. I feel that I can barely fit most of my trousers now, and fuck it all, the weighing scale showed that I was 58kg yesterday, and today, I got home and weighed myself again after a very young boy, probably a fifth of my age, pointed at me and said 'fat cow'. Maybe it was because I had ice-cream in my hand, but that shouldn't be the reason why a kid would call me that. Even though I tried controlling what I ate, I now weigh 62kg.

I'm having a real crisis here and I don't know what to do. I'm getting heavier, I'm getting bigger, but all in the wrong places. I barely have anything on my chest to prove that I'm a girl, my thighs and waist are getting bigger as I can barely wear my jeans now - I feel like a stupid bowling pin and I don't feel like living anymore. I don't want to breathe, I don't want to open my eyes.

How I wish my heart would stop beating the moment I shut my eyes after I finish this post. There's nothing more than this that I really want to happen, right now.

2007-05-12T00:09:00.000+08:00

It's slowly hitting me...

I'm... free.

Free.

We just did our FTV presentation today (FINALLY). And now...

*fluff ball passes by, as is blown by the wind*

And next Monday, I'm off to Bali with mum. For a week! YEE HAAAAAA!

I tell you, it does not pay to be the editor, the actress, the director, storyboard artist and the scriptwriter of your own production. You get sick of your own face, sick of your own voice, sick of your own name appearing so many times in the credits part. Honestly, the past few days has had me so confused with myself that when I look in the mirror, or hear myself talking, I just want to puke/eliminate myself. Seriously.

So... now what do I do?

*sleeps*

2007-05-09T23:56:00.000+08:00

After my dinner tonight, while I was walking home with an ice-cream in my hand, I noticed the lady that was walking in front of me - her shoulder bones were sticking out, left and right (like some kind of seargant's shoulder pad thingies on their uniforms, only this is really the bones under her skin). At the back of her neck there were a few bumps, like the ones you see when you clench your fist - your knuckles kinda emerge). Her arms and legs look like... I don't know what they look like. It's like you take a few metal shower curtain rails, flatten it with a steam roller, and join them together (knees and elbows) with a ball of plasticin.

And what the hell was I thinking, when I said to myself, I'd kill to look like that. I wanna look like that.

I thought this, was ideal.

And it took me a long while to realise what I was doing, or saying. My ice-cream tasted bad all of a sudden - I didn't want to eat. I threw the half-eaten ice-cream, and when I arrived home, I stared at my own reflection. I hated the bulge I saw at my stomach area. I pinched my stomach and my own cheeks hoping they would deflate in an instant. I was also slapping my thighs and legs, wishing they were at least half the size in circumfrence from the size they are now.

I wanted to break the mirror. I wanted to scream in agony.

Of late I haven't been eating well. I would get up in the middle of the night to eat, so that I could go back to sleep, which is only an hour or two, before I get up and go through the process again. Snacks won't last two days in my house. My clothes are seriously getting tight and it's making me feel uncomfortable.

But I don't want to look like that. I think I'm ok, though I don't want my clothes to feel tight. I want to wear the same clothes! I love my clothes, that's the reason why I bought them.

But a couple of times thinking it over and it seems like having bones sticking out is a reassurance that I would fit in the clothes I want.

I've gone stupid.

2007-04-21T00:23:00.000+08:00

Before I start anything - I need to lose 5kg. Am effing fat now I don't feel like stepping out of the house even, with the bloated tummy that feels like its gonna explode anytime soon. I blame it on the delicious birthday cakes mum bought for Ween, which was practically there for me to help myself for breakfast, and as an addition to lunch, tea time and dinner. Damn.

Other than that...

Our head of faculty has just attempted to politically brainwash us today.

Apparently, the LAN moderators are coming to visit our college sometime next week to see if we comply to the minimal LAN requirements - to see if us students 'know' about our college, at the same time are treated 'as we should be'.

First, you nicely tell us the history of LimKokWing. Fair enough.

Later, you tell us to shut up and stop whining. Now hold on a second.

Who was it that said at the very beginning, when we joined the college, that if there is any problem, do not hesitate to come and see your lecturers/people in charge, and "we'll help you in any way we can" (Limkokwing executives and people in charge, n.d. as is applied all year round).

Stop whining? Oh ho ho. After telling us to stop whining, guess what? HE decides to whine. Tells us that we 'stick burning cigarettes in our mother's faces'. That we never stop complaining about our resource fees. And those fucking facilities that we are supposed to be lucky to have, aka Wings Coffee, Makanlah, ten-10 (our very own '7-eleven' konon).

Always look at the good experiences you've had in this college.

Go eff yourself lah buffoon. Yes I'm bloody well pissed off, because why do you think students whine about these things and still do?

BECAUSE NOTHING IS BEING DONE ABOUT IT. US STUDENTS STILL SUFFER.

If your excuse is that those 'facilities ' are there to help train the students from the entrepreneurship school, then the school must be trying to produce bastard entrepreneurs that are trying to extort as much as possible from us students. ten-10 makes 7-eleven looks pretty cheap, when to the public eye 7-eleven is a 24-hours convenience store that has a right to sell stuff at slightly more expensive prices. Ten-10 only opens from 9am to 7pm and yet they are charging much more than 7-eleven.

Makanlah serves lame food. Minimum of RM5 for lethargic, overcooked, oversauced, overoiled, died-three-times vegetables and pieces of meat that are cooked in a very minimal variety (and you're only entitled to one kind). For RM5, you're extorting us to the max, for the minimal amount you spend on the menu (and the minimal methods of cooking them as well). Oh, but you argue, there are lots of variety! Chicken chop for 7! Hello. I wouldn't pay 7 bucks for that pathetic piece of chicken chop, which is 50% skin, 20% fat, and the size of my fist. The rest are frozen mixed vegetables and loads of french fries. For 7 bucks that's totally not worth my money.

Wait wait! How bout the Lebanese food? Oh yes, that one's nice. But can I afford to spend RM10 a day for lunch alone? That's not even counting the drinks!

How bout the burger? RM8. Pfft. And it's a roadside burger. I feel like I'm cheated everytime I buy it as I know I can get the same nearby my place in Bukit Bintang for RM3 (and that's a special).

Satay? Oh yes yes. RM5 for 4 sticks. 60% fats and skin. So... what are you left with exactly? It's only 4 sticks. In Kuching, 1 stick is 30 cents, and its pure chicken meat. PURE, as in no fat, no skin. Who do you think you are fooling?

Nasi lemak, RM6 only what. Yes. I agree to your nasi lemak lah, but who wants to eat nasi lemak every friggin day?

Salad? RM 5 for so, so little, and the meat you put in is not even lean - its one of those cold cuts you slice into mini pieces. Extortion.

Sandwich? Mayonnaise pit. And too bad, boo hoo, its already preset that way, just like those tuna mayonnaise spread. RM 8 for sandwiches too? TOO MUCH.

We're already paying so much for our tuition fees, and yet daily you extort us with the pathetic foods you offer. Don't get me started on Wings Coffee - if you think it's comparable to starbucks, it's only the prices. The quality is SO FAR OFF.

And for entrepreneurship purposes, you're doing a very lousy job at that. Capitalists.

I can possibly accept the fact that the college is our 'second home'. But LUCT cyberjaya as our MOTHER? With the stinking toilets which is barely cleaned up, sanitary bins rarely being emptied till it overflows (you do not want me to describe the disgusting picture), and the classrooms that are supposed to be 'well equipped' being the most depressing environment to study in? I can tell you my mother is not to be compared to your effing ugly facilities. Yet you say something is done about it, well, it still looks the same to me.

As for those students who 'stick burning cigarette sticks into their mother's faces', that's their problem and I think you do have the right to address the problem. But please, just don't address it in the manner that we are all made to sound disrespectful to our dear, own mothers. I love my mum, and I'm not a smoker. And saying LUCT is my mother is a damn effing insult.

As head of our faculty, I'm so ashamed to hear you talk in such a political manner. "I promise... I promise". IN the beginning of the semester, when you first got your job, you said things would be different. Ya, right. Go back and study some of the MCI subjects yourself. Widen your scope. Things have gotten worse, and if only you weren't taking away one hour of our FTV presentation today, or rather delaying it, I would have given you a piece of my mind on the kind of pressure I'm getting from the students.

I'm being treated like a tape recorder. I'm being treated like the walking-FTV print-to-tape equipment service. I'm the spoonfeeder. I'm the one people are after for 'sample copies of essays'.

WHY WHY WHY? How can I not hate college more and more each day? How is it that you've trained your students to become so lazy? I ask my lecturers all the time for clarification. But WHY are the other students so effing lazy?! WHY APPROACH ME, JUST ANOTHER STUDENT to read your course outline for you, to explain what is meant to be included and excluded in your essay?

AND if the head of the faculty thinks after his politically charged talk has switched my mind to a more positive angle, sorry man - you are so bloody off point and this mind hasn't budged one bit. I'm losing hair and gaining weight because of the uneccessary stress I'm getting from my 'fellow mates'. Its so obvious that you're afraid of the LAN officers and that you don't want us to spoil your good reputation.

My batch has been taught the critical attitude. We're critical people, and it's not right for you to accuse us as stupid students who can't respect their mothers.

2007-04-17T13:40:00.000+08:00

Only God knows the kind of shit I have been through the past week, and it's continuing on to this week. Thanks to last week, I've gained three kilos (Ezel, I know you're laughing, and if Aunty Irene comes across this, she'd probably go... hallelujah? LOL).

People say those who stress themselves out can barely eat. I'm the exact opposite. I eat A LOT when I get stressed out. I can eat 1kg of Nestum just as snacks in the matter of two days. Last week I've spent more or less one to two hundred ringgit on food/meals. I've been attempting to store some stuff at home, but the only things left are the stuff that require you to cook them before you can consume them (eg lean meat, eggs, that kind). Snacks? The moment they land, they are gone. GONE. I freak myself out, and I think sooner or later I'm going to be afraid of myself. I feel it, but at the moment all the workload I have is kind-of keeping me sane.

Last week, I had so much trouble coping with my coursemates. I mean, I would understand if only one or two came looking for me at the most to repeat myself like a tape recorder. But eight to nine? A little too much. And how about needing to be spoonfed? You all have copies of the bloody course outline. GO READ IT YOURSELF. Is it so hard to understand/gather information from it? Why do you have to ask me to read it for you? Why can't you go to the lecturer and ask him/her instead? I can't give you extensions, you know (yes it's THAT pathetic).

The final blow was when a friend asked me to proof-read their work. I'm used to proofreading (I'm that passionate about language - yeah slap me). But I was horrified to see that the work I was proofreading was my own. My own idea, in someone else's poor English words put together. It was a storyboard for the same script I did in the previous semester. All the props, the scenes, the sequences, the effects... everything, they were MINE. I know my own works and ideas. If I were to proof-read it, this friend of mine will be submitting the exact same thing I submitted last semester. And am I okay with people submitting my work and claim it as theirs? And to proof-read my own work at that?! AM I OK? OF COURSE NOT DAMMIT!

Apparently the lecturer used my work as a sample to show the class. This friend of mine didn't know it was mine, but now they do. It's really a double blow, because this friend of mine has been listening to all my rants all week about people looking for me to spoonfeed them and asking for "a copy of your essay, to see if I'm doing the 'right thing'/'following the right format'" (Some Not-To-Be-Named-'Friends', 2007). GOOD LORD. And after all that, this friend has the nerves to ask me to proofread my own work in his words, and had the cheek to apply the words 'my (his) work' whenever this person referred to it.

And you wonder why I was a complete bitch, if not a double bitch, if not that either, a very pissed off princess/drama queen all week. Don't I have a right to be?!

And bloody hell lah. I don't mind helping but please, don't harrass me! Don't call me on the phone like you're about to get raped or something. I've got classes too. Why are you asking me about when the deadlines of this and that is? Why are you asking me what's supposed to be written in the essays? Why are you asking me what you're supposed to present in the upcoming presentation? WHY WHY WHY? DO I look like a lecturer/tape recorder/course outline reader?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Oh no, it doesn't end there. The edit lab's transfer unit (the 'piece-of-technology' that allows you to transfer your work from computer to tape) has been abused to the extent that it is R-O-S-A-K. R-U-I-N-E-D. D-A-M-A-G-E-D. Why? Simple. The students do not bother switching off the computer before connecting the firewire cable, and neither do they bother switching on the computer first before they switch on the AC to the transfer unit. What happens? Power surge. Kzzt. You'll ruin the transfer unit, coz it requires less electricity to run. Kzzzt! KZZZT!!!

I believe things happen for a reason. Dad was frustrated that a few weeks after he bought the DV camera (which uses mini DV TAPES), the DVD video camera is then available in the market. But, for the film enthusiast, video clips/rushes from the DV tape is far better in terms of quality and pixellation compared to the rushes recorded on the DVD. So, I have all that I need - the transfer unit, the camera, the cables - everything. Uh Oh.

Now I look like a walking transfer unit. Yes. Harrassment again. No wait, its an added 'look' actually. People still have the cheek this week to look for me to get 'a copy' of my essay (which I now straightforwardly told them I'm not giving any of my essays to anyone at any rate), and now wanting to take my whole camera set away from me. Oh HO HO. How do I know it's not going to KZZZT just like the ones in the lab huh? Huh? HUH? If it's ruined, then...? How is anyone going to transfer anything then? THEN WHAT?!

And worrying about the safety of my camera/transfer unit/cables, I have to be here and there and everywhere, to help transfer to tape. And at the end of the day, beginning of the next day, I am too tired, as I can't sleep properly, getting up frequently at night, to snack on Nestum, cheese and toast and Jacob crackers and fruits just to get back to sleep (I don't sleep until I eat something, which is bad). And I haven't gone to the gym... AARGH. I got on the weighing sclae, and ta-da. Three kilos. Just like that! AAARGH. And my essays? OMG. I'm so not happy. SO NOT HAPPY.

What am I supposed to do now? I'm stressed. I'm fat, and I know I'm fat, but I can't be bothered to do anything about it, and I'm bloody unhappy with my work, because I know I can do better, but I'm just too tired to think a little more. I'm so tired to the extend that I cannot sleep. I'm down to the last small bottle of hair tonic and my hair is falling out like crazy. In a week I think all the hair that fell out can be used to complete a doll. I'm not kidding.

You are all killing me. You're all killing me slowly... SOFTLY... (with whose song?!).

2007-04-10T23:58:00.000+08:00

Recently, I haven't had trouble with people I dislike, but people whom I never expected to push me around to their advantage.

I hate it when people do not bother about their assignments until the very last minute, when they would call me frantically, asking the most redundant, rhetorical questions that should be answered by the lecturer or was already answered during the lectures but these students just couldn't be bothered to listen or attend.

Do I look like a tape recorder to you?! Effing hell. I think if that's the case I should start charging for my services, because frankly I am sick and tired of repeating the same thing over and over again.

I also hate the fact that some people just expect to be spoonfed on what to do and how to do the assignments, projects or research work. Hello people, you are now at the university level. If you still expect to be spoonfed, please refer to your high-school teachers and perhaps ask for a re-entry?

I also hate it when people are talking about saving money, and yet they are not bothered to make the most out of it by making efforts to attend the lectures they have paid for. That way, I do believe you have no right to complain about the fact that college food is bloody expensive and has no pride or quality in it, or that the convenience store is such a rip off it makes 7-eleven look cheap.

Claims on being close friends, you should know me pretty well by now. I make tons of effort to attend lectures. Last semester, despite the fact that there was only one tutorial that would barely last 15 minutes or most of the time, cancelled last minute, I still made the journey all the way from KL to Cyberjaya for the sake of not obtaining a failing grade due to poor participation. Yes, I'm serious about studying and being disciplined about it.

You should very well know as well that I am not comfortable about people who skip class, let alone ask me for favours to sign your attendance for you because "it's the one and only class on that day and I don't want to waste my time driving all the way out here just to attend a short lecture/tutorial".

Too bad, because I think if that's what you think, then you don't deserve participation marks via attendance because you're just not bothered to participate in the first place.

These few phrases have been haunting me for the past few days and is causing me to stress like shit because it's just not my place to be answering these. What the hell are you paying your lecturer for?!

1. "Eh. For this class' essay, what are we supposed to do ah?"

2. "Can I see your work? I want to make sure I'm following the right format." (Note that the lecturer is already kind enough to have given a sample work so that we can 'follow its format').

3. "I don't understand what I'm supposed to write for this essay. Can you tell me what I'm missing and why my essay is wrong?"

4. "Eh. Can I use this in my essay/project/assignment ah?"

5. "Eh, what does this mean ah? *points at some term/instruction that has been explained in class or is explained in the course outline*

6. "Eh, when's the deadline for this essay ah? *pause* REALLY?! *pause* Eh, can ask for extension kah?"

It isn't too bad, I suppose, if only one or two people approach you with different questions. Unfortunately for me, it is the worst case of redunancy and rhetorical-ness as not only one or two approach me, but many, and they all pretty much ask the same questions. WHY? WHY? WHY? Because of you all I'm repeating myself like some kind of parrot! A tape recorder! WTF man. Next time I'll charge, then you all know.

Amidst all my frustration throughout the entire week, a 'friend' got ticked off when I offered to save some cookies I initially baked for my own consumption in the middle of the night to a friend whom I was chatting with via text messaging at the same time. As this person nagged about not getting any cookies, I apologised and offered some from the next batch of cookies I would bake, and I got an irritating, threatening reply that went, 'YOU'D BETTER'. Since when did offering something from the kindness of your heart become such an obligation? Just because I made you wait for nothing, it was not like I purposely did as unforseen circumstances cropped up last minute, you had to disappoint me further by hurting me despite peace offerings for cancelling out. If only you knew how patient I have been - I think I'd probably have beaten you up if I've really had enough.

I should get a pin badge, a really huge one. "GO ASK YOUR LECTURER."

2007-03-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

Today, I had three different people apologising to me. I had the bus driver and two different girls (both whom I don't even know them by their names) apologising... on behalf of Whacko-Jacko-Wannabe.

The two girls brought a pack-of-three Ferrero Rochers each. I was too pissed to touch any of his offerings. My boss in the gym had a good laugh, but I couldn't find the amusement in all of this. The straw that broke the camel's back (thanks to my sister for adding this phrase to my vocab/idiom dictionary) was on the bus ride home, where he thought his first offering of chocolates was enough to atone for his knife-ly gesture. If only he knew where the first set of three Ferrero Rochers actually went (he'd have to do a post-mortem on my boss' tummy).

At first he came up to me and said, "All that is well, ends well" and tried personally offering me another set-of-3 Ferrero Rochers. Hello. Who said "all ends well" with just three pieces of chocolate?! Who said pointing a knife, even at a friend, or a stranger, "is well"? I ran off without saying a word, and left behind the three pieces of shit.

From the back of the bus, he made another girl walk up to me to offer another three Ferrero Rochers, with another apology note. It took me a while but I went to the back of the bus, where the fucking idiot was 'hiding', handed him the chocolates back, where he stupidly said, "Oh, you don't want it?"

HELLO. WAKE UP. Who in their right mind would point the sharp end of a knife at a friend? WHO? WHO?! I've put up with enough of your shit, following me around college, drinking 1.5l of rootbeer and choking and spitting in front of me while I have my breakfast, thinking it's ok to just pull up a chair and join me without invitation with your large, early morning fix of gassy beverages, and your constant drill of stupid questions that relate to Micheal Jackson and horror films which I said so many times that I AM NOT INTERESTED in all that shit. Yet you are still persistent, thinking I'm OKAY with it, despite the fact that I made it clear that I'm simply NOT INTERESTED in your fucking whims and fancies.

You've had enough chances, and I can't get past the fact that you thought I can just put aside the fact that you pointed a knife right in my face, thinking it's ok. No it's not ok. If you think that gesture is easily brushed aside, then I really, really do not know what else you are capable of.

You can say you're sorry many times, but the damage is done. It's DONE.

2007-03-23T00:01:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought I could be a bit more optimistic on the shit Whacko-Jacko-Wannabe has been putting me through... today changed my mind completely.

ON my way home, I was bloody tired from all the editing work I have been doing for our FTV project, Soundscape (already briefed this one earlier). It paid off as I submitted it a day earlier, which was such a relief. I can rest up a bit more tonight. Too bad, apparently not.

I was sleeping on the bus ride back to the city, hoping I could dodge all the bloody annoying questions from Whacko-Jacko-Wannabe:

1. Hey Azzie, have you watched The Son of The Mask?

2. Hey Azzie, you called me this afternoon. See? (Flashes phone, with my name and number on it. Hello, can you read? It says at the top, DIALLED NUMBERS. FUCKING IDIOT - he told me the same thing yesterday).

3. Hey Azzie, you used the cab to college today? (DID I NOT TELL YOU THAT SO MANY TIMES THIS MORNING?)

4. Hey Azzie, are you going to college tomorrow? (...)

5. Hey Azzie, I want to talk to you later ok? (...)

6. Hey Azzie, I will talk to you later ok? (...)

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

So I fell asleep, but was woken up soon after when my phone rang. It was my dear sister, and she perked me up with her bubbly self. I spoke for about 20 minutes with her, which was interrupted a couple of times by Whacko-Jacko wannabe, whom I had no idea what he was trying to do but he was sampling his own ringtones at an intolerable audible volume, and speaking in a high and loud pitch when he 'answered' the call. Every call I could hear "Hey, how's it going there?/What's Up? I'm good, I'm good thanks!" coming from him. That's about it, except for the last call he received before I hung up on my sister - which was a call from his parents I think, asking him the whereabouts of the bus (this he toned down to half the volume, but I still could hear anyway, "Almost there already").

Talk about competition. Anyway, I then remembered about an sms I received earlier from a good friend, whom I did not manage to reply immediately thanks to all the editing work I was tied down with. However, during the tap-tap-tapping away...

"Hey Azzie, have you ever seen a pen knife before?"

*turn to look* WTF.

He pointed the sharp end of a Swiss knife right in my face.

I got scared. I was really frightened. Just when I thought I could be thankful that Whacko-Jacko-Wannabe may not be a psychotic threat, he just proved to me that he is capable of being one. After I glared at him, he even turned to face the front of the bus (that would mean pulling the knife away from me) and started slashing the air, as though there was some kind of 'soldier' enemy in a stupid Russian war of his own, standing in front of him.

I told him I was discomforted by his gestures. I cannot forgive him, as he did not show any regret or understanding that he had mistakened my part time job at the gym for 'filling in for a friend' and went on to assuming that the boss of the gym is my boyfriend. I hated being followed around and stalked upon in college after I pointed it out, yet he still continued the act anyway. Now he comes up with this, which I also pointed out, where he asked for 'another chance'. Well, FUCK off. It's not going to happen. I'm so pissed, and I don't think I want to see your FUCKING STUPID FACE tomorrow, or for the rest of the week, as a matter of fact.

2007-03-22T10:22:00.000+08:00

Ha. Ha. Ha. It seems that you all are enjoying yourselves, reading about my not-so-little adventures with Whacko-Jacko-Wannabe.

I don't know how long I can put up with his 'antics', but I think it won't be very long till Pandora's little box bursts open. I'm even disgusted to look at his face - he's causing me mental distress, and I'm serious about it!

So many things have been happening for the past few days, and when I look back, my situation isn't too bad. In fact, I should be grateful that I have sporting groupmates for my FTV assignments/projects, and that Whacko-Jacko-Wannabe isn't a pure obsessed psychopath.

I was editing our soundscape assignment in the computer lab yesterday when a friend of mine exploded at her groupmate for having the 'couldn't-care-less' attitude towards the assignment. The day before the same friend asked me for help around maneuvering Final Cut Pro. The next day, she was horrified that all her files were missing (if she had not backed the data up, she would have to start from scratch). The deal is that the computers are numbered and that you have to book the computers to use them. One group will be assigned to one computer at a time, and the only way for those particular files to disappear at 'the right time' would be none other than the work of one of your groupmates. Fishy? Hmm... or maybe someone just wanted to sabotage another's progress. Oh how mean.

Back to the 'couldn't-care-less' girl, she was a pain in the ass the entire time we were in the lab. Not doing anything but cross her arms and watch like some dumb-founded owl, my friend asked me to help print the edit to tape.

Before I go on any further, let me brief you on what the 'soundscape' project is.
You are telling a story through a mix of sounds, for about a minute or so. These sounds are more or less environmental sounds only, and speech can be used at very minimally, not to the extend that the speech narrates your 'story'. With this, VISUALS are NOT ALLOWED.

So when the edit was being printed to tape...

Azzie: *click-click-click*
C-C-L Girl: Hey. What happened to the pictures?
Azzie: Um... we're doing 'soundscape' right? We only need the sounds...
CCL Girl: Oh.
*after one minute or so of printing to tape*
CCL Girl: That's it? That's all?
Azzie:...

I don't know what happened a few minutes after that, but my friend was screaming at CCLG at the top of her lungs. I was minding my own business - I had to get OUR GROUP work done too.

Soon after that, another voice could be heard from the other end of the room...
"SHE CAN DO IT, YEAH, NO PROBLEM! BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? YOU ONLY KNOW HOW TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT TO DO BUT YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING! THIS. THAT. THIS. THAT. YOU?! NOTHING!"

OK. I could do with laziness - I'll motivate and be 'the pusher'. ^^;

As for Whacko Jacko Wannabe, while I was in the midst of editing, my phone rang.

W:HEY AZZIE! *pulls phone away from ear* DID YOU CALL ME?
A:No...? (I'm VERY SURE I did NOT (and do not actually have any reason, ever to) call him).
W: YEA? WELL, I GOT A MISS CALL FROM YOU! HERE IT'S ON MY PHONE!
*how am I supposed to see, and my phone 110% has no record of it*
A: *beeeep*, I did not call you, OKAY?
W: WELL, YOUR MISS CALL IS ON MY PHONE!
A: But I did not call you. Why should I call when I have nothing to tell you?!
W: OH WELL. SEE YOU LATER ON THE BUS, OKAY?!
*click* ...

And this morning, oh the most unfortunate of mornings, I woke up at 6, only to shower, eat, and took a short nap. A SHORT NAP. Enough to miss the bus.

My phone rang, and I was still at home, when Whacko-Jacko-Wannabe called.

W: Hey Azzie. The bus is here.
A: Um... *beep*, I'm not taking the bus today.
*Click* ...?

RING-RING-RING
W:Hey Azzie. The bus is here.
A: *beep*, I'm not...
W: You better hurry, the bus is going to leave anytime soon.
A: *beep*, I'm not taking the bus today.
W: Be here soon, OKAY!
A: *BEEEEEP*, LISTEN. I'm. NOT. TAKING. THE. BUS. TODAY.
W: Oh.
*Click* ...?

RING-RING-RING
W:Azzie, you're not taking the bus today?
A: No, I'm not. (frustrated to the max)
W:Oh. OK.
*Click* ...

RING-RING-RING
W:Azzie, you're not going to college today?
A: I'll. be. taking. the. taxi. See. You.
*THIS TIME I DISCONNECTED THE CALL*

I'm not making this up. Eventually I thought the entire thing was funny, and deserved some kind of publication. :) So there. I should start up some collection that goes under the title, "The Chronicles of Whacko-Jacko-Wannabe".

See, I'm starting to be a little bit more optimistic. There are worse things in life. This isn't too bad. I may just benefit from all this. :)

2007-03-19T17:34:00.000+08:00

Hmm. It seems that I am getting a little bit more optimistic on life. :) Though, for the past week, I have not done anything else but complain, rant, and explode at the end of the day (and last Friday, I threw a tantrum about half an hour after arriving at college).

Thank goodness my mum and my sisters were there to hear me out. If I were alone I think I would be sent to an asylum by now.

Remember little freako on the bus? He is starting to become the pure source of misery in my life. Last Friday was really the last straw.

After boarding off the bus, he followed me when I was making my morning purchase of coffee and snack. He asked me, "Are you going to have breakfast?" Frankly I was used to him inviting himself at your table without asking, and I really did not enjoy his company as much, so I quickly said, "No."

He disappeared, and I was relieved, but alas this relief was not meant to be. I sat down at a table, and before I knew it, freako ran all the way back to where I was sitting, with a huge 1.5l bottle of Sprite in hand. I seeked refuge in the gym, and as I thought I was safe, he actually barged into the gym as though he just got out of a tornado.

W: HEY AZZIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!
A:...
(Boss laughing behind the computer screen at the counter)
A: *NAME CENSORED TO PROTECT IDENTITY* - Are you following me?!
W: No, no I'm not following you.
A: *stare*
W: Ok, yes. I am following you around. So I'll see you later ok?

...

I went to class at 11am, and around 12pm, my cellphone registered a call. I ignored it - for heaven's sake, I was in class. It was from weirdo.

I had lunch shortly after class, and that's when weirdo came up to me and said, "Too bad I had lunch already. If not you could have joined me." Who the hell do you think you are?! OMG.

Later on he continued, "Hey, sorry about earlier. I don't know what I am doing, following you around." I just don't know what to say.

Even later during the day, as I was tapping away on the keyboard in the gym...
The door violently swung open. Weirdo stepped in.

"Hey Azzie. Are you filling in for a friend?"

=________= (keeps mouth shut)

"I'll see you later on the bus ok?"

And later on, in the bus...

"Hey Azzie, you know, I have this third eye. I'm clairvoyant. It tells me... that the guy in the gym... (sigh sadly)... he's your boyfriend, isn't he?"

WTF. If my boss hears this, his REAL girlfriend would frown and he would probably be laughing his ass off. It's really not all right.

"I'm working in the gy..."

"OH! SILLY EYE! I NEED TO PRACTICE IT MORE OFTEN!!! IT'S GONE RUSTY!"

WTF. *goes to sleep, the best way to untangle all the fuzz in my brain at that moment*

Before reaching our destination, he leaves me with another disturbing phrase, which I thought, THANK GOD IT'S THE BLOODY WEEKEND. Am censoring out the last phrase. Just too disturbing to type out. Oh but there's one thing that is not too disturbing to say - he walked all the way to the back of the bus, and 'moonwalked' all the way back to the front. When he was done, you can hear, "O YEA! IT'S GOOD!"

My weekend was bliss. I had such a blast with my sisters, mum and dad together with my cousins. We went karaoke-ing, it was my first time, and probably last as well. I find that some things make me too high for my own good - and in that little karaoke box, I was singing my lungs out (it was then also I discovered I can't sing) and prancing around the room shoeless as I sang to memorable tunes from the Spice Girls, NSync and Backstreet Boys along with my sister and cousins. When I got home, I was out like a light.

Monday followed, and what else could possibly distort the beautiful picture and clear head of mine but freako on the bus. He was dressed for winter, as he wore a really thick jacket (ones you only see people in the UK wear during winter) over his white collared shirt and beige pants and some pinkish tie. Okay, so he wasn't so annoying this particular day, but he noted that he would be absent tomorrow from college because he will be seeing the doctor in regard to the fainting episode he had in the computer lab last year (which I did write about previously). In his words...

"Hey Azzie. I won't be taking the bus tomorrow. I'm going to see the doctor. Remember I fainted last year in the lab? I'm going to see him about that. So... Don't worry about me ok? I'll be alright."

WTF. I couldn't say anything, just kept quiet.

Today, he 'sms-ed' me early in the morning, asking me to guess what is on the 23rd of March. I replied, "Sure, it's a Friday, and it happens to be the deadline for my soundscape assignment."

"And for yer information" he replied, "its my birthday"

My response? "Whatever, I don't know how it concerns me"

He calls me, about nine times. I answered about three of the phone calls, all of which was disconnected after a few seconds (which he managed to explain, 'something's wrong with my batt...")

Oh well. I told him, just text what he had to say.

"You should have wished me a happy birthday, not just whatever"

Hello. It's not even the 23rd yet. And I'm not obliged to wish you a happy birthday, let alone way before the actual date. I'm not stupid!

UGH. I'm so annoyed. I woke up with a stuffy and itching nose, and this happens.

Whacko Jacko wannabe, GO AWAY and LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

2007-03-15T08:59:00.000+08:00

I got a new cell phone yesterday, replacing my retarded (but well-endured all the abuse I had inflicted upon it anyway) k750i. Unfortunately, I lost all the phone numbers stored in the old phone, as the software of my old phone got corrupted at the very last minutes of its life, wiping out all its memories of its previous life as the software was reformatted.

Therefore, do forgive me if I do not recognise your phone number, and I sure would appreciate it if you'd help me recover your numbers so I can keep in touch. :(

2007-03-13T06:29:00.000+08:00

The DUMB BLONDE in me

Okay. So like, I stay on the fifth floor of this condominium, right. I wanted to go to 7-Eleven, to get a loaf of bread so I could pack a sandwich to college tomorrow. I went into the lift, pressed 5 a couple of times, starting to get annoyed as the more I press, the more I realised that the lift did not budge an inch from the floor downwards. It took me about thirty seconds (that's what it felt like) to realise that I needed to press B3.

2007-03-11T02:33:00.000+08:00

OKay. As I've mentioned before in the chatterbox (to the left, to the left~)...

I have had the craziest week ever! Only God knows whether I was really breathing those past couple of days, and what a damn relief it is for Friday to have passed, and oh, the beautiful weekend, it's slipping through my fingers. Nooooooooo!

So basically, if I were to summarise the things I've earned/learned this week:

1. iMac computers are the best. I regret buying the laptop I have now. I should have gotten one of those Macbooks! I WANT FINAL CUT PRO so I can start editing my own movies even from home...

2. Which leads us to the next point - I was seen in Multimedia 7 for a consecutive three days, editing our group's video presentation. Result?

A) My ass is now the shape of the uncomfortable, poorly cushioned, de-wheeled computer chairs

B) My eyes are probably as apple-ly shaped as the squarish screen of the iMac.

C) My back is as straight as the tripod - as I was unhappy with some of the shots, I would go out and re-shoot. I brought the tripod all the way from KL and back almost each day, and having to lug it around and crane over it everytime I shoot takes quite a strange toll on my back.

D) Did I tell you I absolutely LOOOOOVE Final Cut Pro?

3. Read assignment briefs well, triple over too. Eat the paper if you must. There is a difference between 'Documentary' and 'Corporate Documentary'. Got an awful sounding for adding (9am - just woke up from sleep) next to the tutor's name and HA HA HA at the end of the documentary. So much for keeping it real. :(

4. I had submitted two big essays, but ended up re-doing one because I wasn't happy with my choice of words and accuracy. (Oh shit, I just remembered. I forgot to attach the article to the final copy of the essay!!! =_____= I'm not kidding... WTF)

5. It's not worth staying up the night writing an essay, as the next morning, I will be sick. As in, suffer from a headache, dizziness/faintness. Seriously. Couldn't get up on Monday, and sounded like a croaking frog. Slept through the morning, till 5pm.

6. ABC (Mixed... stone ice? Ha ha) is my best friend. It has provided me with enough sugar to keep me high. :)

7. There are students out there who couldn't care less about working in a group and leaves all the group work to one person. I couldn't help pitying some of my friends who had to work with... lazy unsociable !@#$%^&*

8. Intro to Broadcasting has become a debate practice every week. Everytime the lecturer teaches, the question of the day eg "What is an interview?" spins off to "Discrimination", or "Why interview?" spins off to "Sleeping with your sources". In my opinion, journalists are meant to be as objective as possible. Anyway, I've never met people who really love to hear the sounds of their own voices... until I met this class.

9. College food is bloody over-priced and bloody yukky. The ones that are pretty decent are double the prices of those which are either

A) swimming in thick gravy

B) swimming in oil

C) tasteless because it has been frozen for quite sometime

D) Consists of lethargic, overcooked, over sauced, over everything else added on vegetables.

(And you wonder why us kids can be really unhealthy).

This, alongside the normal classes, and the weekly reading log and articles to work on, friends bombarding me with questions regarding assignments and essays (Hello, guys, what the hell are you doing in class if you are not listening? All the stuff you asked are basically making me parrot the lecturers and tutors!!!)... Yup, I've had a hell of a week.

And God help us all... What have I done to deserve being followed around in college by the weirdo on the bus? He drinks 1.5l of Root Beer in the morning, while I have a quick cup of coffee. I didn't invite him, as usual he invited himself to my table, seated himself at my table, and wherever I go, he follows right behind, but this all does not happen when I'm in classes and with friends.

And the freaky thing was, last Friday, he said to me, "I care about you" and "at least I know I'm not alone". WTF. I shall not elaborate further...

But hey, despite all that, I'm trying to put my MCI 102 into practice - tolerate, and understand the different cultures and try to think in non-essentialist ways (let's just see how much I can take, LOL). And I think some of my classmates have got to start applying what they learn too - stop bullshitinglah all of you. You all should be thankful you're in a rather peaceful and beautiful country like Malaysia. Grow up, cause you have to realise, that you can NEVER get EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT, and you can never HAVE EVERYTHING YOUR WAY. If you did, then the thing called 'Cultural Experience' does not exist. Fat chance.

Currently taking a breather, but looking at the work I've got waiting in my file...

One Script to write. One 'Soundscape' project. One reading log due, one chapter to read for the next MCI 112 lecture, One essay on media representation. One more essay summarising the work involved during the production of the mini-'corporate' documentary. Two news scripts. SHIT.

I better get a move on.

(PS Feli - prices for k750i range from 750-900. Lol. The RM750 ones kinda have a catch to it, like having to sign up for a new line, or something somewhere is missing/left out (like, phone and memory card (16MB) only, or phone, 16MB memory card and charger only).

2007-02-15T09:29:00.000+08:00

Valentine's day. The Oh-So-Bloody-Commercialised day, as well as the day when couples just LOVE rubbing it in to the single people out there that they've got somebody.

I felt discriminated, because my mum and I went out for dinner (she flew in last night from Kuching to keep me company - actually she has work to do, haha). We went around, looking for restaurants. First stop...

A: Azzie, W: Waiter/Waitress

A: Can we see your menu? *spots heart shaped balloons tied to chairs and rose petals scattered all over the floor and furniture of the room, low lights with candles here and there*
W: Sure. *hands A one piece of paper*
A: Err... don't you have ala-carte?
W: This is all we've got. It's Valentine's day.
A: *stares at the Valentine's menu* - one soup, a choice of three dishes, and one dessert. RM92 per head. WTF. *mum let's move away and look somewhere else ok*

We both go to another restaurant. And another. And another. And another. And another (am I getting redundant?). They all had the same kind of pre-set Valentine's only menu, and the prices are getting even more ridiculous. At one point I couldn't take any more of it - I said to one of the Ws: Is there ANYTHING NOT for celebrating couples here? I feel discriminated!!!

I suggested McDonald's, and my mum won't hear of it. I said it was a lot cheaper and our bellies would still be happy anyway. Alas, walking past it... I guess that's where all the single people went. I'm sure there are some couples in there too, but let's not talk about it. Looks like there are no seats available in there anyway, and the queues are astonishingly long. With that observation, that ruled out the fast-food restaurants and we resorted to the first Valentined-up restaurant we laid our eyes on.

The dim lights were annoying. Apparently the preset menu did not include drinks, so we had to browse through the drinks menu, in the dark. And I tell you, I think it's all being planned - the prices of the drinks were extorbitant! WTF. I can buy a whole complete meal in McD's for the price of one small measely cup of coffee (it was so small it was gone in five small gulps). The music was all the "hold me, love me, kiss me" types, and it was booming so loud I had to shout if I wanted to say anything. Oh, and do observe the SHAPE of the food. The rice is arranged in such a way to look like... a heart. Look at the mashed potato mum! It's... err. Eh. Look at the mousse. It's also... the chocolates on the side... two hearts. Aaaaargh.

On the way out of the restaurant, I just grabbed hold of 4 helium heart shaped balloons and made my way out. Just to feel a little bit better.

Then, on the side of the roads, at the pedastrians...

Miss! Want another BIGGER balloon? Miss!!! Want to buy flowers? MISS!!!

I might as well be caught selling the balloons I had tied to my hands.

I might sound like I'm jealous of all the celebrating couples, and people who read this, probably would think, HAH. She'd probably think differently if she DID have a boyfriend. TRUST ME. If I had a boyfriend, I'd probably arrange NOT to go out. This is just not my idea of celebrating love. One pathetic day, to make singles feel even more miserable of what they're missing out on, as well as having to either wait while the stomach digests itself or pay ten to twenty times more to get food immediately. And whatever happened to family love??!

I was just thankful that I wasn't really alone that night. I had mum around, whom I forever adore, and had my arm linked to hers all the way through when we walked back home.

Which now brings me to the other reason why I've decided I'd drop a note in my blog today. Remember me ranting about some weird dude who goes on the same bus as I do to college everyday? Well, he's back. I had my half-month of peace... till yesterday. That, I could still tolerate, he was being pretty normal I guess (blaring iPod with gay anthems and Micheal Jackson songs still there and all).

Anyway, this morning, on the way to college, the bus left Masjid Jamek, and I thought, hurrah. The weird one doesn't have classes today!!!

*Phone beeps. Horror. Pick up*

Weirdo - W, Azzie - A.
W: AZZIE!! ARE YOU IN THE BUS?!
A: Err yeah...
W: ASK THE BUS DRIVER *pulls phone slightly away from ear* WHERE THE BUS IS NOW!
A:*asks bus driver where the bus is*
W: OK. TELL HIM TO STOP!
A: Err... Ada orang tertinggal, lah. Boleh berhenti sekejap? Dia akan datang... (Someone was left behind. Can you stop for a while? He'll be here...)

We all wait, and a panicked looking weirdo eventually does step into the bus.

The gay anthems and MJ songs go on, I just fell asleep in the bus not wanting to think about anything.

The moment we arrived at school, I was the last to get out of the bus. The weirdo was standing near the gate, posing, white glove on right hand only. He did the exact same thing yesterday, which I didn't even have to ask, when he said, "I'm doing what Micheal Jackson did in the Pepsi ad, you know".

So I walked, he walked ahead. Then we came to the main entrance, where there's LOADS of glass windows. He then turns around, and does the signature MJ gliding move, which he obviously failed miserably but looked triumphant anyway. I tried looking away, walking ahead, into the convenience store. OH MY GOD. 'MJ' is stalking me. I walked around in the convenience store, pretended to look at things, noting that he's always on my tail. Then when I turned to face him, he quickly grabbed the refrigerator door open, and took a can of Pepsi and joined the queue. HAH! I ran out, and went straight to the ladies' room. Stayed there a while, before getting out, knowing that the coast would be clear after that. If he knew I am working as a receptionist in the gym... I don't want to imagine.

I wonder, just wonder, how the ride back to KL is going to be like, besides anticipating the gay anthems and all. I'd probably sleep the entire way, again. Glee.

2007-02-09T13:35:00.000+08:00

It's been about... nine days since I last left something on this blog. It seems that I'm endlessly ranting about my life (ha ha ha) and how I wish things were different. How different? Well, not too different really. I just want some things that I WANT to work, WORK. None of it really happens, so everytime I anticipate something, and it turns out not to be, I feel so discouraged to carry on with anything else because everything else would just turn out the way I DON'T want it to.

I try to be optimistic, yet I end up being more pessimistic than ever. I keep asking myself, WHY? Now I just wish that word would just leave me alone. It's easy, to say just stop thinking about it, but that's like telling your lungs to stop respiration. I can't just switch it off. Why don't you try? Try and switch off something you can't explain, something that won't leave you alone for some unknown reason?

I got myself a part time job at the college gym. This I'm pretty contented with, because I finally have something to do for the in-between-classes time that I have been struggling with lately since the lady at Makan-lah (our college's *coughsuckycough* foodcourt) doesn't make anymore ABCs to distract me of the awful long waiting hours of doing nothing, and that Wing's Coffee is beginning to become over-rated coffee for me (Tan Sri, hear me out). Plus, I've finally manage to spot some eye candy in college, but again, I'm getting the invisible treatment from them. Ah.

Being rooted to the gym (not that I actually work out during my working hours, that'll put me to sleep or something), I noticed that the gym is at its busiest after 4pm. And you'd see the same bunch of people everyday (duh, I guess that's why there's this thing called 'membership') but I didn't know people would utilise the gym everyday, like say, two to three hours? Eeps. And I thought I was kinda bad. I saw a Jake Gylenhaal (is that how you spell his name, the one that played the character of a gay cowboy alongside Heath Ledger in Brokeback mountain) lookalike, and he's seriously buff. I also saw, for the first time in my life, the slimmest man on earth, so slim that I swear I'd mistaken him for a broomstick anytime. Ribcage and all, maybe he's anorexic? Double Eeps. Then again I could be wrong. Haha. I even saw a guy who... I dunno if he is new to the gym or something, knocked a dumbell (20lbs) against his own forhead by accident. The 'manager' of the gym also just taught me how to do 'proper' sit-ups, and I can barely survive ten sit-ups, and the next day my 'abs' felt so painful it was good at the same time. HAHA! So much for all the sit-ups before this - they were done wrongly in the first place. No wonder I could never get those dreamy abs. Oh well.

Anyway... I got to go. Am in college. Just had lunch. Tummy... ok. Filbert is nagging me to go to the faculty and look for a lecturer. Filbert you nut. Haha. You can't read this! :P

2007-02-01T07:19:00.000+08:00

FICTION (somehow ppl really ask these questions!)

1. Hey, u s'wak people live in trees ah?

YES, we have elevators too...they're really an engineering feat cos its not ez to fit an elevator into a tree

2. U guys got electric isit?

Yes...but since cost of transmission is too high due to the geographic barriers..we use independent solar panels and mini turbines scattered all around, they are exactly 30,000 of them!!

3. Over there got wat car?

We ride wild boar. When the plane arrive at the airport, we take our wild boar and ride it all the way to our tree house.

4. Got road mer?

no jus jungle trails and a few roads around town

5. U bidayuh from Sulawesi there ha?

yes we are head hunters. human brain is the best food...

6. S'wak is inside Sabah right?

No, were one state u idiot..sabah is a town in swak

7. Eh?? Sabah n S'wak not same mer?

yes!! how many time i have to tell u sabah is a town in swak

8. Kuching big ah?

so so la...but we have the largest population of stray cats in a city in the world!!! about 400,00 why do u tink they city is called kuching.

9. Kuching got many cats la..

YES LA!!!! how many time i have to say?

10. Kuching got Malay?

Doh

11. S'wak ppl can speak English?

No..but we can speak french because we were colonized by the french in the 18 century and then by the aliens in the 19 century, so our local dialect is pretty much based on some alien language that nobody understands

12. Kuching got airport or u use boat go Johor?

kuching airport is only fit for a fokker..since a fokker cant go so far..we have to use a steamboats, no joking !! steam boat..cos swak is so full of timber..its cheaper than diesel or any other petrol

13. Miri? Then you all got a lot of oil ah?

yes.. we drink oil like you drink water..

14. Eh.. there so hot.. got aircon or not?

ngaiti.. treetop breeze.. aircon what for?

15. How come you all got shirt wan?

yalor hor.. shit.. this feels itchy.. we used to walk around in underwear nia.. very breezy you know.. even our girls are sexy.. you guys jialat lar..

The REAL FACT (SERIOUSLY)

1. The only state to be ruled by a white Rajah

2. S'wak is the largest state in M'sia

3. S'wak supports whole M'sia with it's own economy (PAY ATTENTION> >HERE EVERYONE) now u will know how generous sarawak is ! :) Without S'wak, there won't be Putrajaya or KLCC...

4. S'wak population is 2,176,800. Kuching has 458,300 (7th most> >populated city in M'sia)

5. There are 27 ethnic groups that speak 45 different languages and dialects; 1) Dayaks (Bidayuh and Iban), 2) Melanau and 3)>Chinese

6. 70% are English Literate

7. Kuching International Airport hosts a number of direct international flights.

8. S'wak has never achieved independence. Ruled by Brooke Family, given to the British Empire, offered to Malaysia

9. Kuching is the most livable city in Malaysia and the 7th most livable city in the world. Even KL is behind at 12th..

FACT (LIGHTER SIDE)

1. We have electricity

2. In Kuching (Sibu, Miri, Bintulu n others), we see Mercedes Benz till we wanna puke.. WE R rich ppl ! haha.. ! Honestly, in just one family, the min we already had 2 cars.

3. The only people that live in trees r ppl from realli realli in the jungle

4. Our guys are handsome n chicks are hot! Very hot~!

5. The size of Sarawak is the equivalent of.. umm.. uumm.. the size of.. uumm.. big la big la.. [nick: almos the size of semenanjung malaysia,about 124,449.51 square km]

6. Kuching is one of the best cities to live around !! yoyoyo...Kuching rocks ! kch kia and ppl now then we realli realli know how lucky we were ! cheers !

7. Sarawakians are the BEST!!

8. We got alot good food; Sarawak Laksa, Sarawak Kolo Mee, Sio Bee, Market Beef Noodles, Market Chicken Rice, Belacan Beehoon, Bidin &> >Paku stir fried with belacan or red wine... (YUMMY) & lots more... :P

feel free to add, but u must be a sarawakian, or else u will get the Santubong curse where u will be turned into stones n mountains :P

THANKS to Brendan Chin for forwarding this e-mail to me. Haha! Actually I've received and read this before, but somehow got it deleted. It's quite an entertaining read, knowing that I'm from Sarawak, lol.

:)

2007-01-30T21:19:00.000+08:00

OKay. Now that we've started on our new semester... I don't really know what to expect but I do hope that I turn out to be better at 'reading between the lines', build connections in the broadcasting world (interviews and stuff, but hopefully I get more than that >:) ), as well as being more passionate about handling the videocamera. Oooh, this feels exciting, but I'm also dying from anxiety as there are is quite a handful of reading materials to go through, alongside with more practical work, or so the course outlines for the respective modules have mentioned. Garr.

I just wonder how is it that I can try and be a little bit more optimistic about life. I have a goal - I really want to earn myself a degree in mass communication. Not just a passing degree, but an excellent degree. I want to win myself a scholarship. I want to be involved in the print and broadcasting indsutry, particularly in publishing of magazines (I want to be the next Miranda Priestly, oh yeah). But, why, why, why is it that the little bits of things that build up to become irritatingly irritating that I become severly upset, ending up being overly pessimistic that I feel like everything's spinning out of my way, out of my life, out of control that I shall never have any say in my own destiny? It's like, with all these 'little' issues, while I've placed a muffin mix into the oven, the end product turns out to be play-dough. Originally I wanted to eat muffins, but I end up... moulding dough? Gaaah.

I wonder if I can even begin to untangle my thoughts. Today, I was seated in a bus, when another male passenger hopped on board, taking the seat next to mine. Normally I don't mind having to sit next to another person. But how is it that this person, whose ass is smaller than the size of the seats in the bus, can take up more space than the seat he is sitting on in the first place? And why is it that this person keeps nudging me using his upper arms and thighs so often but make it look like they were all 'accidents'? I wanted to scream!!!

Conclusion to this? YUCK. ABSOLUTE YUCK.

Why, why, why is it that I keep getting myself into awkward situations with the opposite sex? Why? Why? Why?! Why is it that whenever I feel some sort of attraction to a member of the opposite sex, they are absolutely not interested in me at all, to the extend that they won't even look at me?! Why is it that I ALWAYS get introduced to an 'interested' member of the opposite sex in ways that put me off from the very beginning (it's not even the casual way of saying 'hi', for God's sake). Why is it that no guy that comes my way could start a calm conversation, tell me their names and ask for mine, or ask me out for a date?! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?

Why can't I get good sleep these days? Why is it that I'd get up a couple of times in the middle of the night/early hours in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep until I nibble on something? Why is it that there's so little hair on my head? Why is it that my nails won't grow above the flesh of my fingers without breaking at the gentlest contact with pressure? Why is it that my ribcage is so bloody large that I look horrendous in a lot of things that I wish to wear? Why is it that I feel I cannot go on a day without going to the gym? Why is there always inexplainable pain I feel inside me that won't ever leave me alone? Why is it that I'm tempted to jump off the balcony? Why won't my muscles build up where I want them to and why is it that the fats always only accumulate at my waist and nowhere else where it's needed? Why bother? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!

WHY????????????????????????

2007-01-18T13:46:00.000+08:00

It was within the past few days when I realised, why girls take so long to get ready when they are wanting to go out. Heck, I'm a girl - for heaven's sake I look like one. But on the serious note, I do not bother with the things girls usually would to show that they love themselves.

It was last Tuesday when I joined the college's gym with Hema. After sweating out, we both went to the shower. She explained that she was always the last one out in the house, as by the time I was already dressed and good to go, she was still fussing about with her towel.

H for Hema, A for Azzie:

A: Wow Hema, you sure do take a long time. I'm done.
H: WHAT?! Ahaha... *pulls a lot of stuff out of the bag* I'm very vain. Everytime I shower I must moisturise. Don't you?
A: Huh? (Thinks of drinking water?)
H: Use moisturizing cream?
A: Once, in the morning, on the face...
H: That's it?
A: Pretty much.
H: How about at night? After you shower?
A: I don't bother.
H: Goodness gal, you're gonna shrivel up like a dried prune! I can't stand not moisturizing everytime after a shower!
A: *speechless*

Then it was only yesterday when I went to get my hair done:

L for lady at salon, A for Azzie.

L: You see your hair, ah, very oily worr. The oil block your follicle also, how your hair grow like that? No wonder you got so little hair! Aiyo. What shampoo you use? Colour your hair some more! No wonder your hair finish!
A: Um.... I use Loreal.. I wanted to protect the hair colour, somewhat...
L: Cannot, cannot like that! How much hair you lose a day?
A: A lot?
L: Got use hair tonic ar? Aiyo. I tell you that one not good. Your follicle all block. How hair want to grow?
A:...
L: What do you eat?
A:... Food?
L: Ya la. You like spicy stuff? Sour stuff? Sweet stuff?
A: *in mind* isn't that practically.. everything?
L: You can eat, of course lah, that's not what I am saying. But not too much of all that. Keep natural...
A: I eat lots of fruits and vegetables.
L: What time you sleep?
A: Depends. When there's lots of school work, very little. But I'm a light sleeper, 5 hours or less most of the time will do.
L: AIYO! How like that? What kind of sleep is that?
A:... *in mind* When I shut my eyes for a period of time?
L: Your period ok kah?
A: Irregular. Sometimes there, sometimes not.
L: *GASP* Ei, you got boyfriend or not?
A:... *in mind* how is this relevant?! - "NO..."
L: Fuuuh. Thank God.
A: WTF. *gives the WTF look*
L: Haha. Laaa. Got boyfriend, no period, like that no good right?
A:.................................................................................

Alright. I get your point, I suppose. But anyway, is this what they meant, when a girl should love her own body? But what if I don't? I suppose that's why I'm oblivious to care about whether to buy this moisturizing cream or the other, whether the amount of sleep I am getting is normal, what I am is what I eat... gah the list goes on. The thing is, I couldn't really care - till now! I suppose? Yeah. I am going to get my arse off this bean bag, and start shopping for... more skin products. And start cutting down on ice creams and ABCs... *gulp* and my precious caffeinated everything. Oh no.

2007-01-15T02:32:00.000+08:00

It's time to close this chapter, and move on to a new one. I do not live in the past, not that it should be forgotten - there is always a lesson to be learned from it that will make one a better person.

I love you, mum, dad, and my two sisters. I promise to take care of myself. I won't let you down.

From now on, I shall not recall or lament on the bullying and taunting I was put through in my childhood and teenage years. I accept my body as it is, and will not try to change it by ridiculous diets, stupid exercises, plastic surgery and whatever treatment crap to change its appearance. I accept my flat chest, my bony torso, my chunky thighs, huge ribcage and pelvic bone. Oh, and taunters - check the mirror before you start on others, okay? BLUEKK.

I accept that I'm not academically brilliant. I have never scored straight As in anything but that doesn't really matter in life. My parents are giving me the opportunity to do what I love and I couldn't ask anyone for a bigger favour than that. I will just do my best.

I should stop worrying, and start living. Someday I will find someone who feels the same way I do about him - it's just not that time yet. I may be a late bloomer but like, let alone love, does not come easy.

I will not look back. Face forward, to take in what the future has in store for me.

2007-01-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

Wow. This blog looks abandoned. LOL. Not really. I blame the poor internet connection, and my forever dying PC - note that I'm in Kuching now, my hometown.

Yes I'm back in Kuching. Lots have been happening and I'm quite sure a lot of people are unhappy with me. There are things that I have no control over, but I try. And this time around, I'll just have to try harder. My apologies to friends that I have let down.

These past few days have been really agonising. I don't know what goes on in my own head anymore. I know there are some things I should forget, but some things are just too hard to forget. Honestly, I've forgotten how it feels like to be truly happy, to feel carefree for a bit. I'd love to get myself involved in a relationship, but the people that sparks me has no interest in getting involved with me, and this has been a streak for the past couple of years - I feel like giving up altogether. It just saddens me that I can't seem to move on much from anything. Of late, exercise and food have become quite an issue for me too. A day without the gym is a day wasted, and eating has left me feeling nothing else but guilt as though I have committed a heavy crime or sin. I know I should eat but after I finish eating I would feel sad. Sad that I've filled up my stomach, sad that I'm going to gain weight. Sad that I can't be thinner. Sad that I can never seem to reach out to the person I want, and sad that I can't feel the excitement and thrills of life that I used to be able to. I keep buying make-up and accessories to decorate myself yet I'm lazy to apply any of them as I do not see what good it will do to me. I feel like I've walked on the surface of Earth for a very long time as nothing really surprises me anymore. Even if it does it is so short-lived that my emotions get dragged down so low that I end up crying my nights away. And with these thoughts and behaviour I just find it so hard to be among friends, because I know I will let them down. And I know, because my family is already having a hard time having to put up with it too.

Oh God. What should I do?

2006-12-09T02:18:00.000+08:00

My youngest sister has done much to live up to her brat-tish reputation alright. I was pissed off through and through with what she said and did that had me tempted to only want to punch the daylights out of her. Geez!

A: Azzie, B:Brat.

Yesterday afternoon...
B switches on Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PS2. Upon loading the game, I noticed there were only two save files - one with a Lv70 Sora, one with a Lv30 Sora. Doesn't take a genius to put two and two together. The both of us played and completed this game. But the levels of the main character indicated that only ONE save file was a completed game...

A stares at B. B gives a bitching smile.

B:Ehehehehe. Sorry lah. I needed more space to save my game, so I deleted yours. I didn't think it'll matter to you.

A is infuriated. A: YOU DID IT DELIBERATELY?! This isn't the first time! You over-written my Disgaea game which I almost completed, near the end of it!

B: But that was by accident. (EVEN BY ACCIDENT I WAS SO BLOODY FUCKING PISSED OFF AT YOU FOR A WEEK).

A: YA. AND NOW YOU REPEATED THE SAME ACTION BUT INTENTIONALLY! What if I did the same to you?!

Just when I thought my sister couldn't add insult to injury

B: As if you haven't done that to my files either.

WHAT THE FUCK.

A: What do you mean?

B: You deleted one of my early Kingdom Hearts 2 files before this.

OK. Let us do some analysis here. I don't hog the PS2 like you do. I only use it when I do have a game that I really am attached to and am eager to complete, and after KH2, I NEVER touched the PS2 since then. And I bloody remember upon completing my game, your KH2 file was still THERE, and I did not touch the PS2 since (because I just wasn't interested in any other PS2 game since then - no thrilling RPG at that time). Soon after I moved off to KL, leaving YOU with the PS2 all to yourself. HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE THE BLOODY FUCKING GUTS TO BLAME ME FOR YOUR MISSING FILE?!

A: I can't believe you'd blame me for that! You know I didn't touch the PS2 since after I finished my game, and you had the PS2 all to yourself after that. How can you blame the disappearance of your file on me?!

B: I just know it was you.

(And hello lah. Deleting one of your 'early' KH2 files is not as bad as deleting a game that has far advanced or is nearing the end. I know what you meant by 'early' files - its when you had to make a decision that possibly could alter the progress or outcome of the game that you save your current progress in a new file).

WHAT THE FUCK.

After this whole incidence, she just proceeded with playing KH2, just before the final showdown. I was so bloody pissed just listening to the combat sounds and music from the game drove me crazy the only way I could relieve myself was to step outside the house.

After feeling explosive and shitty, I thought I had better things to worry about.

My sister then proceeded to make a bigger fool out of herself.

A buys ice-cream (donduma). B sets her mind on buying ice-cream, then withdraws. A is puzzled.

B: I'm not feeling sweet tonight. I want something savoury.

A raises eyebrow.

B: TRUE! Every night I got different taste one. I pray that tomorrow night I am feeling sweet so that I can enjoy my donduma ice-cream.

WTF. You need to pray to want to eat ice-cream.

Speaking along the same line of idiocy, I'd like to point out how MAJORITY of the tabloids (Hey, I'm a sucker for tabloids) seem to report about the same few things and people:

1. How Paris Hilton is dating so-and-so (it changes all the time, ranging from other people's boyfriends to old flames) as well as how she is getting herself drunk, partying here and there and everywhere.

2. How Lindsay Lohan wishes to die an early death as she too, parties hard, drinks alcohol like fish is to water, and hurting herself as she is a 20-year old hopeless romantic who can't keep a good boyfriend to herself, yet already has plans on getting married (even sketched out her own wedding dress, it seems).

3. Nicole Ritchie and her dieting woes. Gotta admit her ugly skin-and-bones condition is bloody scary. But she's gaining weight now. :)

4. Britney Spears. On her stupid husband (and how long it took her to realise how stupid he is, which makes her more stupid each time), her surgical this-and-that to get her 'hot body' back.

5. Bradgelina and TomKat. Tak habis-habis (Never ending). It's like Big Brother is Watching indeed. (Baby Suri is such a beautiful baby, by the way)

6. Jessica and Ashlee Simpson - on post-divorce depression, and how one surgery follows another to alter her looks completely respectively.

YUUP. It sells, alright. Just watch out for these six factors, I suppose I can start writing and sell my own tabloid. Ahaha.

2006-12-07T04:18:00.000+08:00

Hey. Some more random stuff I'd like to post up, because I wanted to laugh my ass off to myself. Ha. Ha. Ha.

A pen eh? Oh I must be blind... but how are the blind supposed to read the note too? It should be in Braille...

So, I'll note, your pies

1. Are real. As in, all other food that we've been eating are... fake.

2. Are slim, not fat.

3. Are naked. Wait. Does that mean the pastry of the pie (the 'skin') is not there? What's a pie again?

I need Mr. Half and Mr. Hour to wash my car for me.

A big fashion no-no. 3/4 white pants, long black socks pulled up to the max matched with the ugliest black shoes. The fashion police has spoken.

How... original. PussyCat Dolls in need of new members (and a man)? Look no further. They're... family after all.

Yum. Bread. How much?

Eh... is that what it is called?!

... Translation of... baguette? Or are you saying something to me? =_____=

2006-12-01T01:38:00.000+08:00

Ah. Today, Filbert took much of the day to point out how short I am.

"Zie, that guy's staring at you!"

"Huh? I didn't notice..."

*Azzie hears muttering, then laughter from the same person*

"Huh? Hey, what's so funny?!"

"You couldn't hear me. Ahahaha. You didn't notice the guy was looking at you because you are TOO SHORT!"

=_____________________________________='

Desperately I turned to his friend, whom I've only met today (Sean?), saying that I needed to get taller... surgically.

"I looooooove this dress..."

"Zie..." *a strange smile spreads from one of Filbert's ears to the other*

"What..."

"I think you're going to have to cut the dress shorter. Wahahaha."

Grrrr.

Ahaha. But I really had fun experimenting with different style of clothings. I've set my mind on a combination of items, so yeah, I'll be buying those clothes, bit-by-bit, so that... it won't hurt so much. Yeah.

Boots from Timberland. I really like these as they are very much made for walking, but dad said I had more than enough shoes. Riiiiiight.

Different styles, baby. :)

Hmm. If I had all the money in the world... Paris Hilton should donate *to me*.

Christmas is just around the corner. Whee. Though I don't celebrate, but I just love to see all the fuss people are having over the occassion. Aside those nice clothes I've been eyeing, my eyes also have been lingering to all those really huuuuuge, soft, cute, cuddle-me-please soft toys (I gave Filbert the hint and he said 'Come back to me on that when I'm a millionaire, ok?!' DARN).

Not much to ramble about really, just thought I'd post something up today.

2006-11-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

If there is one thing I have learned in the past few days, its the love my parents and family have for me.

I've had a bad case of food poisoning, which then led to acute gastritis, which landed me in hospital for the past three nights. The first night, not even the doctor could really tell what was wrong with me - the guards at our condominium had to carry me out (and I could hear them muttering and panting about how heavy I was, despite the way I look) - I was discharged by noon the next day, with my aunt and cousin who accompanied me and took care of my sister the night while I was away. No one suspected anything worse could happen, but on the same day, late in the evening, I was struck by a worse stomach pain, where it was so sudden and severe that I could barely move and breathe. The ambulance came for me and when the staff in the ER saw me, I could hear them saying, "Laaa, dia lagi!" (It's her again...) and, "Hey my friend, welcome back, welcome back!". Shit. They're happy, because it sounds like they are going to make money out of my parents. I know my aunt was holding me back when I was on the hospital bed as I kept screaming and shouting - that was all I was aware of. I wanted to die, I really did, then go through the pain I held that night. My stomach felt like it was going to explode any moment. It was tightening that all I could do was curl myself up to reduce the pain, but even that had minimal effects. Every second I felt like vomiting, but nothing emerged. I bore a headache that felt like twenty drills were piercing through. The only thing I could think of was jumping out the seventh floor window, as I was told that I was given a lot of painkillers already, and they couldn't give me anymore. What was then, the pain I felt still?

I tired myself out by crying and screaming, but it was only a matter of time that I was woken up again, due to the pain. I called for the nurse, but even then the nurse that came to 'help' looked extraordinarily mean as the only thing she said was, "Pain ah?" and that's about all she did besides pacing up and down in front of me. My aunt, my sister and cousin was not there anymore - I was alone. And that bloody nurse. It was like she LOVED seeing me in pain, as the more I screamed, the more she just asked the same question, "Pain ah?"

I started to wonder if I was dreaming all this, when a few other nurses came in, and the present nurse also came to my side, whispering in my ear, "Hey, the doctor is here, and if you don't keep quiet, he will not treat you". I tried keeping quiet for a bit, but the pain was so severe I had to scream. I tried holding on a bit longer, but the doctor never made his appearence. I screamed a little more, and it went on till then. I screamed, for goodness knows how long, until the doctor did make an appearence.

"EH, can you SHADDUP or not? You're not the only one suffering here, OK?"

I thought at that moment, try getting this pain and I bet you'd already jump out that same window I thought of if there was no one to hold you back you idiot.

This doctor brought me out for an X-ray or two. He then started jabbing my stomach area here and there and everywhere. I scowled whenever he jabbed the area underneath my left breast.

"EH You having your period ah?"

I just nodded, but that has been going on several days already...
"ALAAA. You scream for what? PERIOD PAIN ONLY WHAT."

If I had strength at that time, I would have slapped him until he bled. I, so far in my life, have never suffered period pains. And hello. Stupid doctor. People do NOT have period pains directly above their bloated, airy stomach, OK?! You don't need science to tell you where the uterus is, dammit.

I was bloody insulted but at the same time couldn't be bothered to argue as the pain was too much to bear. But when I was brought back to the ward, the nurses all believed that the only reason why I was scowling was due to 'period pain'. I spent all night screaming, scowling... and that was all I remembered, before I saw daylight, and a familiar face - my dad's. He flew all the way from Kuching. The moment I opened my eyes, I cried. Dad said everything will be ok. And I believed him. I wanted to say something to him, but I sounded nothing better than a croaking frog - I had lost my voice, due to the screaming I did the previous night. All I could do was cry.

I was later diagnosed by a different doctor. This doctor examined me and said that I was suffering from acute gastritis, doubled with the diarrohoea. From the X-ray he said my intestines were flooded with water (sign of diarrohoea) and the bloated, airy stomach which pain is triggered if I should consume any liquid (even water) would hurt.

And the nerve of the first doctor that diagnosed me - he came back later, saw my dad, and said, "Ah, the noisy one. Nothing to worry about. Just a severe case of diarrohoea". I wanted to stab him.

Even though this all sounds a little too comical, I'm really not surprised if anyone were to laugh at this entry, but it was all true and it truly hurt me that some people are not dedicated to their professions and little things are really taken for granted. I could not eat or drink anything for that entire day. Not one bit, because it will send me off for another round of painkillers and anti-spasms. I was so pissed, knowing that this was a private hospital, and yet the staff took the opportunity to mock its patients, who are paying a hefty price for their services. Out of 20 nurses I can say three are truly dedicated to their work, and out of the three doctors I was attended by (including the one in the ER), only one was humane enough to tell me what was really going on and did not insult me in any manner of speech.

My aunt from Seremban, together with my grandparents, cousins, nieces and nephews, came to visit me as well. I was thrilled to see them, and I was envious of my grandpa (in a good way, don't get me wrong) that he had so little health problems compared to myself. He is really old, but jolly happy and active as can be, as he even said that the hospital where I was in has been around a long time, and he remembers its whereabouts, but roads have changed and they needed a taxi to get them there. My aunt left me a jar of honey, which was so damn delicious, I kept snacking on it till there is only 1/3 of it left. I felt like Winnie the Pooh to some extent, but the honey was really good (and the only source of energy I had since I was supposed to be on a clear water diet, where I should be eating... water. Just... water).

In the room I was placed, there were three other patients. Three older ladies. One who was nearer to the door had her arm bandaged, my guess is that she is suffering from diabetes and the nurses kept waltzing back and forth, scolding her for unravelling her bandages on what looked like an amputated arm. She kept complaining that it was too tight, but I wanted to cry when I heard the nurses mimic her in a childish (which was quite nasty) sort of way, word for word. Sometimes when they check up on her, the nurses would ask her, "Nak keluar tak hari ini? Nak pergi mana?" (Want to go out today? Where to?). Then she would just keep quiet, as the two nurses would reply to themselves, Chow Kit, and fits of giggles would follow. At one point the old woman asked if she could phone her relatives. The nurses replied (in another childish tone) "Yang mana satu?" (which one?) and the lady responded with "Tak tau" (I don't know). Giggles would follow. I don't know if it was the drugs that was affecting me but this did disturb me.

The other old lady that was on my left, I didn't know what she was diagnosed with, but all I could tell was she had a lot to complain and talk about. Relatives would come in and out, and she would talk non-stop like a drill. The one directly opposite me was rather lonely, but she had a cellphone with her and she was pretty much savvy with the piece of technology. There was a pack of blood (instead of the 0.9% saline solution drip) hanging above her, which scared me nonetheless. She went back earlier then I did, and I could see how excited she was upon leaving compared to the day when she was completely bound to the bed with packets of blood. Only the day she left did I see two of her relatives (I think, son and grandson).

This all made me think of my parents. My dad flew all the way from Kuching to see me, on a midnight flight. Mum was worried sick, and dad told me the both of them couldn't eat or sleep properly before mum made him hop on the next flight to see me. How my parents are so worried and eager to see me better, this truly touched me and sometimes while I was on that hospital bed, I did not cry of pain, but cried thinking of my parents. I am still young, and yet I cause them so much trouble with my own health. They work, and spend their money on me, to see me better as well as ensure my future in this world. I owe them so much, and with this I know the reason I exist and am still walking on this Earth, is so that I can repay, and do more for my parents. Once I earn my own steady income, I am to dedicate my life to them. I have to make sure that if in sickness, I am there to provide help for them. When in pain, I have to be there to relieve them of some of the pain they feel (it would hurt them more to know that their children just do not care). I must take care of them and make sure they enjoy their life, especially once they get off work - I'll help them out with their garden, I'll help them out with weekend grocery shopping. I want to always be there for my parents. I love them so much, and I don't think I can love any other as much as I do for them. My aunts, my cousins, no matter how young (dear Elysha, you don't even remember me, you're only four now, but I was there since you were born!), your presence in that hospital reminded me of the things worth living for, and more reasons to why I should live on to see another day. I love you all to death. Thank you all so much for being there for me. And to my dearest youngest sister, I may call you a spoiled brat, but you, my sister, have always cared, and don't think that I do not care for you either. In panic you cry, and get disoriented, but I love you all the same for all that you do and try. Dad, I thank you again, for coming all the way down here to see me, and bringing my soft-toy Mokona all the way from home to the hospital just because I wanted something to hug throughout the third night. :)

2006-11-20T23:11:00.000+08:00

I always enjoy and have so much fun hanging out with my fashionista buddies. I simply looooooove browsing the stores with them.

Who are they? Filbert (a pal who's also studying mass comm) and Wade, a friend who's currently studying (and working) in Sydney.

Photos not allowed? Right.

And this is Filbert. Note that there is no photo manipulation involved. :)

Yup. This post is dedicated to them. ^^

Got some things I've been procrastinating on some of the pictures I wanted to post for quite sometime now. Yeah. Talk about 'Accuracy', 'Brevity' and 'Clarity', Hummm... (Journalism does things to you).

Oh yes. I just completed my finals for this semester - my last paper was done last Saturday, so I'm officially not to be seen in college till... next year? YEAH!!!

OKay. Here we GO!

"Do not do promiscuous things in the taxi?" - was really seen in the taxi itself.

So, what do you use square cake tins for again?

How real can potato chips get?(Actually I know it's the brand name, but putting them together... was pretty interesting).

I should join Lynn Truss in her mission to eliminate English errors on signboards with pandas. I'm plain annoyed by these little things. >:(

Cell Phone? (Was on one of the entry forms I came across)

WHAT?!

2006-11-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

I am so in love with Steven Strait. After watching The Covenant... OMG that movie revolves around hot, hot, hot, hot, flaming hot men... I'd do anything to win a date or something with Steven Strait.

Now why can't a guy as hot as him or something similar to him come and pick me up over here?

2006-11-03T21:47:00.000+08:00

Shit happens. I accept that, life is not always full of hee-hee-ha-ha.

But what if you told someone you liked them, but they told you they don't want to commit due to distance, and that they are not ready, and almost a year later you accidentally find out that this person has a girlfriend, and that someone else indicated it and this someone is not saying anything about it?

It's expected, but I can't help feeling disappointed. Even though there is no confirmed truth in it but somehow the disappointment of just knowing he might be (and would most likely in future, be) attached to someone else makes me feel like I'm never good enough for anyone.

So I did some food and self-indulgence therapy today. Just when I thought all the massages and sweet stuff I've eaten have put my worries behind me...

*Phone rings, some random local cell phone number* "Hello? Is this Azzie? Remember me? Maxwell. *long pause* The black guy? Hey, where are you now? Can I meet up with you an hour later?"

HELL. I don't even know who you are, and you want to meet up with me?! I have never exchanged phone numbers with with any "black guy" (whatever that means) by the name of Maxwell. In fact, I don't have a friend with the name, Maxwell. At the most, it's Max, then again, short for Maximillian (yes, that's you, MaX).

God, you can't put me through this. You simply can't. The people I am attracted to either don't want anything to do with me, or lie to me, smashing my heart into pieces. The people that come after me are stalkers and psychos (and if you met them you'd agree they aren't normal, I've talked about some extraordinarily freaky few in the previous entries already).

I.JUST.WANT.TO.DIE.

2006-11-03T13:49:00.000+08:00

HEART. BROKEN. JUST. WANT. TO. SIT. HERE. AND. CRY.

2006-11-03T12:13:00.000+08:00

DILEMMA!

Okay. So I wanna watch Clive Barker's Frankenstein In Love at KLPAC. Tonight's the last show, 8.30pm, and it runs for at least three hours (including interval). There is no way to get there without involving a cab (damn) and to catch a cab back to my place at... 11.30pm ALONE isn't exactly a safe thing. Everyone else is busy with the Glitz event going on at LimKokWing's Hall of Fame (which I would want to attend to except it is in Cyberjaya and I have no confirmed ride back from there to my place =_____________=).

DAMN. Like, DAMN DAMN. The disadvantages of being alone!!!

Bla bla bla

2006-10-14T12:37:00.000+08:00

Like I'm so super stressed right now I'm sitting in one of the computer labs thinking of raya cakes and cookies but at the same time the one essay I need to bullshit and lie about intellectually for FTV, one essay for MCI 111 the Information age, about ... bla bla... and another essay for MCI 101, on celebrity and whether they deserve more privacy (with references, which I am not too bothered at the moment...)

What else? Oh yes, there's an upcoming final exam for Islamic studies, gotta study for that one. Wohoo, going home this friday. I hope I can fit my baju raya. My belly doesn't seem to want to tuck into my jeans (which is why I wear my skirts more often these days ahahahahahah).

2006-10-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

Hee. So I've abandoned post for a bit (again). Nonetheless, I notice that the only time I truly bother about blogging is when something pisses me off real good. After all, I learned in Journalism class too, "[What makes] Good news is BAD news". Ahahaha! (Way to go Azzie, you are making use of what you learn in college!)

Anyway, today's slightly different. I've been proof-reading Ronnie's work (mind you, this is not the same Ronnie most of you may be thinking of - Ronnie is actually Jin Ze, my fellow coursemate directly imported from China *kerplank*, and he's been paying me off with food. Haha! From plates of french fries to drinks from Wings' Coffee... But now it's the fasting season, so... TT__________TT

Nonetheless, I still proof-read for him, and today, he gave me something sweet (literally and figuratively) - a mooncake, in a lovely box, in a cute little paper bag. And a cute little advice came after that - "You fasting, right? No eat till later!"

Oh and how over-protective I was over the mooncake. A female classmate of mine asked if she could have some, and immediately I said "NO!". I must have looked like quite a fool for the entire day for I couldn't help smiling everytime I looked at the paper bag.

Even as it rests on top of the table, I am VERY reluctant to take it out of the packaging and eat it away. It's just soooo precious! But I know I'm just cringing to taste it... *Goodness someone slap me* Gah. I should preserve this one and go out and buy another one. OK Shut up Azzie.

Every end of the day I would spent RM 3 on Turkish Ice-cream. Yes. The cute little old man that sings every time he scoops out the ice-cream knows me so well that he would ring the bells everytime I pass by (I walk by pretty often, but I limit myself to one cone, two scoops a day, thank you very much), and everytime I purchase he will always give me a little bit extra. Yes, normally people get two scoops, I get 2.5 (a small extra splat at the top).

Now, one particular night (which was tonight), there was this lady who bought one cone of ice-cream before I did. She got her standard two scoops, and she stuck around long enough to see the cute old Turkish man scoop 2.5 scoops of donduma for me. She then stared at me, and I stared back, and when I did, she gave me the full scan up and down my body. I was like, WTF is your problem, woman?! Then I looked at a white button pinned on her shirt that read, "Lose Weight Now, Ask me How!".

Now, if this is a strategy to get me into whatever weight management program you are on, please, this strategy is like, so rock bottom. So I enjoy my ice-cream, but do you think I look THAT bad, bad enough to HAVE to go on some weight management program? And if that's how you plan on picking up people, well roll your eyes back into your eye sockets, missy. It's not going to work on me. I get pretty ticked off easily when people pull these kind of 'stunts' on me - I noticed that there has been a lot of people wearing those buttons, and from an instant I could tell that this weight management program probably does not only help the person who needs to shed and maintain a good weight, but it also financially benifits the person who got you into the program. Yeah, those 'profit making scheme' stuff. Oh no you don't. Indirectly telling me that I'm fat and I should do something about it when I've been fatter once before, you definitely picked the wrong person. So the old Turkish dude gives me more donduma, I'm his favourite customer, DEAL WITH IT. AHAHAHAHAHA! (I'm so plain evil, aren't I?!). I'll do it again. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Azzie you're getting rather cynical these days...)

Okay, I'd better get back to tweaking up my assignments. All are half-baked, considering I want them all to be rather spot-on. :|

2006-09-12T14:52:00.000+08:00

Okay. So I haven't been blogging - but no one can sue me (it isn't exactly an obligation of some kind). I'll blog when I have the time and when I found some interesting topics to.. um... talk about I guess. Haha! I know my last post was rather pathetic, but not having a pet cat or something that can respond to my rants and questions kinda takes a toll on you. >___<

This I took at the entrance of the female toilet in my cousin's school during a fun fair. I have something to say about this, but I can't help wondering why the teachers there haven't? Poor kids. (Female ==> PerEmpuan).

I was on a KL Rapid bus, waiting for the driver to step back into the bus and take us back to Bukit Bintang. Looking around, I noticed that the bus looked... more dirty than usual?

Pfft. Rubbish. Okay. So where is this bus driver? *examines bus over again*

WTF.

OOKAY. A bit disturbed, but heck. At least some people are doing it safely. On the bus, I'm not too sure about that. Or maybe someone thought of this as a good joke. Hmm.

On my way to catching the bus that would bring me all the way to dead-town CyberJ...

Wait, how many hours are there in a day, actually?! Too bad it was quite early in the morning, the shop wasn't open...

And further down the road, where there was a junction... I was waiting on one side of the road - waiting to cross, that is. My curious eyes lingered around the place, when it just occured to me, WHAT really is the name of this blardy road?!

Well anyway, apart from all those crap-worthy stuff I've been up to, I'm drowning in essays and such. I have to go out and look for some form of news (I was telling my course mates that we should go hire a guy to go bite a dog, since that IS news) for our assignment in Journalism class this Saturday. Gaaaah. And there's a presentation up this Thursday for FTV, and two essays due for Information Age, and another one for Islamic Studies. I'm Ok, I'm OK! >___<

Oh yes. I've kind of come up with quite a theory out of some observation work. Hot guys are out of my reach because they are gay. OK guys are also out of reach for me because they are taken. Those with silly punchlines and actions are the ones that are left behind, and I'm not THAT desperate. I'll just sit and wait for the OK ones to 'break-free', if it ever happens. :) *gets killed by other girls*

OKAY OKAY! Hey, it's the truth right?

Since I'm feeling like it, I'll write up on some of my mis-adventures here so far with the whackeds.

1. Random guys with movie-pick-up-lines that I never thought anyone would use.

(a)Is your father a thief? Because I think he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.

(b) I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

(c) Have you any insurance? Coz if you were with me, you'll be fully covered.

2. Attention-seeking stalkers

Second week of classes:

Azzie sits in a bus that can accomodate 40 people, but it is known that only 10-15 people take the bus from KL to CyberJ. Since the seats are arranged in twos, Azzie places her ass on one, and her bag and laptop on another. Suddenly, out of nowhere...

Mr. Stalk: HIIII Azzie! (wait, how did he know my name?!) You know what just occured to me some bla bla bla (all was a blur, I was paying attention to what he was doing rather than what he was saying)

Azzie: HEY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO DO?! MY LAPTOP IS RIGHT OVER THERE!!!

Mr. Stalk: Oh, I just wanted to sit next to you.

=_________________________=

Azzie: There's so many other seats. *looks around*

Mr. Stalk: Oh OK. Anyway, bla bla bla was bla blaing away... (takes the pair of seats in the same row opposite mine)

*Azzie takes out Book of Black Belt Sudoku, tries to occupy self with something, while Mr. Stalk sings from Spanish to French to Italian to English to Aladdin's 'A Whole New World" - it wasn't pretty at all, imagine a guy squealing suddenly to imitate a girl's voice? Not in tune either...*

After 20 minutes or so...

Mr. Stalker: Azzie. HEY! AZZIE!!! LOOK! What do you think?

*Azzie looks up*: Uh... don't mind me saying, but why is the back part of your tie far longer than the one in the front? Shouldn't it be the other way round?

Mr. Stalker: Oh, this was the fashion in the 20s. All the army men tied their ties like this, by Jupiter.

*Azzie goes back to book... until she couldn't help noticing about 10 minutes later, the person opposite her was taking off his belt. WTF*

*Mr. Stalk tucks out his shirt, and puts his belt over the shirt over his trousers. Azzie tries not to look*

Mr. Stalk: Azzie. Hey. AZZIE! AZZIE!!! LOOK! What do you think?

Azzie, in mind: WTF. Physically doesn't respond.

After 5 minutes or so...

Mr. Stalk: Azzie. Hey. AZZIE! LOOK!!!!

*Azzie looks around* Mr Stalk: Know what this is? *waves a harmonica*

Azzie: A harmonica?

Mr. Stalk: Guess where I got it from!

Azzie: Err... Petaling Street?

Mr. Stalk: HUUUUUUUH! How COULD YOU?! I got it from the GIANT SUPERMARKET!!! *starts wheezing in and out of the harmonica, sounding like a retarded donkey*

Azzie, in mind: FUCK. When is this bus ever going to reach college?!

IN COLLEGE - THANK GOODNESS.

*Azzie goes off to Wings Coffee. It is now 9.15am, class starts 1030. Buys a muffin and tea, sits alone at a table for four. Pulls out one chair for laptop, one chair for own ass. After taking a seat, Azzie notices that one of the other chairs started withdrawing itself...*
Mr. Stalk: HI AZZIE! I don't have class till the afternoon!

*Mr. Stalk plants his gigantic arse on the chair and bangs his mug on the table*

Azzie, in mind: WTF.*eats muffin, swallows hot tea, runs off - gtg for class, konon.

LUNCHTIME

After buying food, Azzie settles at a table with another 4 chairs. One for the bag and laptop, one for her ass...

Once settled, Azzie notices another chair withdrawing itself. "Fuck."
Mr. Stalk: Hey Azzie! I bought FISH AND CHIPS! *plants his fat arse on the chair* Fuck.
Mr. Stalk: I don't think this fish is fresh. Why if they were serious about fish and chips they would la la la la la la la (all about his fish and chips)

Azzie, in mind: FUCK.

Mr. Stalk: And did you know the Russians bla bla bla bla bla WAR bla bla bla CANNON bla bla MACHINE GUNS bla bla bla....

Azzie, in mind: FUCK. The vegetables are irritatingly yellow enough. WTF!
*Azzie gets up, and says she has another class to attend to - RUNS to computer lab*

TIME TO GO HOME - BUS IS 45 MINUTES LATE. DAMN.

While waiting...
Azzie, and J, obviously the both of us were thinking of the same thing: Mr. Stalk is quiet. Gosh. He could actually be normal.

Mr. Stalk:!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*((*&^%$#@#$%^&*((&^%$#@!@#$%^&*((*&^%$#@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%&()(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(&^%$#@!@#$%^!!!!!"

*Azzie and J were both frozen and stunned*

J: Mr. Stalk, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!

Mr. Stalk: Oh, I was just rehearsing one of the most used phrases during the war by the Russians in the past. No big, yeah!

*Azzie and J give one another funny looks, and then looks around to see that everyone has their eyes on Mr. Stalk with a funny sort of expression*

*Mr. Stalk then whips out a pair of binoculars.* Mr. Stalk: The bus isn't here yet. Nope. Not in sight, still looking, still looking...

*Azzie slaps forehead, in mind: DUUUH. I Could say the same thing without the binoculars OK?!*

Bus then is in sight... Mr. Stalk: OH! BUS IN SIGHT BUS IN SIGHT! THANKS TO MY BINOCULARS WE'RE ALL GOING HOME!!!

*Azzie literally falls on the floor laughing her ass off, gasping for air after that*
Mr. Stalk: OH NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! AZZIE ARE YOU OKAY?! OH BY JUPITER..."

*we all board on the bus... and Mr. Stalk tries to bring something about to chat...*

Azzie: LOOK! I've got an extra bad headache now, OK? I really need to rest!

Mr. Stalk: Okay. I'll wake you up when we reach MJ OK?

*Azzie sleeps*

A FEW DAYS LATER...

Azzie is in Wings Coffee, 3pm, eating cake and having coffee. Yum. Chocolate. I'm in heaven. Sort of.

Mr. Stalker: AZZIE! OI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? HOW DID YOU GET HERE?! YOU WEREN'T ON THE BUS THIS MORNING! I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T HAVE CLASSES ON FRIDAYS! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS?!

Azzie: KEEP your voice down! Gah. I've class on Friday, ok? but it only starts at 4, so why do I have to catch the bus early in the morning to linger around college till 4? It's the one and only class I got today...

Mr. Stalk pulls a chair, and sits. WTF. MY cake. I want to eat, my cake, in heaven. This is punishment.

Mr. Stalk: THERE'S BAD NEWS! I MUST SAY! *bangs fist on table*

*Azzie raises eyebrow*

Mr. Stalk: There won't be a bus service from and to MJ starting tomorrow, that's what the bus driver said this morning! It's bad! It's BAD I TELL YOU! BUT I TELL YOU!!! *bangs fist on table again* I AIN'T GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN, NO I AIN'T! I WILL MAKE SURE THERE ALWAYS WILL BE A BUS TO TAKE US TO COLLEGE EVERYDAY!

*Azzie lowers head and eyes cake, bloody embarrassed as people have ceased their activities in Wings Cafe to see what the commotion is all about*

BUS RIDE BACK

Azzie: J, is it true that the bus won't be picking us up and sending us back from and to MJ starting tomorrow?

J: It's true, that's what the bus driver said this morning. But student services say that is not the case. We'll ask the bus driver again later ok?

LATER...

Bus driver: Alaaa, itu bas driver pagi tadi sudah sot, mana boleh macam tu? Masih lah, you all kan dah bayar tu? Apa pula ni...

Mr. Stalk: WE'RE SAVED! SAVED BY JUPITER! YEAH!!! AZZIE AZZIE AZZIE!!! THE BUS IS STILL GOING TO PICK US UP AND SEND US BACK!

Azzie, in mind: THAT'S IT YOU.... *silent treatment*

A rather long story, don't you think? It still goes on till this day, though I've actually told him off for egging on me so much. At one point he actually fainted in the computer lab, apparently he has some medical condition, and I felt bad, somewhat. But later on during the bus ride back, he couldn't help blowing his little drama out of proportion. He said I would have screamed my head off if I saw him fainting (riiiiight, I was there, sonny), and that he was having a mild seizure before he blacked out, describing how it all went down. Hmm. If you had seizure, would you be able to remember that you went through it? Gah. He also pointed out he was suffering from epilepsy.

Well it's not so bad now, I've a strategy. Earphones and an MP3 phone does you wonders. You can look innocent at the same time choose not to answer when being called. :)

3. Cheeky OLD MEN do exist

I was walking around, on the sides of the road, in the shopping mall, just enjoying the buzz... when suddenly... what seems like a cat mewing...

"Hiiiiii~"

That came from an old man, who's greying in the hair, wrinkled all over his face, and yet you can see one side of his thin lips curled, with a cheeky look to follow. I haven't encountered only one or two, mind you. =________________=

4. New 'pick-up' tactics

(a) Walking against the direction you are walking and suddenly takes a brief swing in front of you and says "HI", and then quickly walks away.

(b) Goes near you, uses one of their arms, and waves or jabs it directly in your face, as if they are going to hit you, but apparently not. Then smiles, says hi, and quickly disappears.

(c) Takes a book and puts it right in your face, as if wanting to suffocate you. Then takes book away, laughs, smiles and disappears.

=________________________________=

Life's kinda fucked up, eh? (or maybe I'm concentrating too much on that little black dot on that white piece of paper? I don't think so ahahah)

2006-08-18T21:57:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I just wonder what the hell am I doing here. What am I looking at, why am I encased in this 'body', why do I hate looking into the mirror, why do we have to eat, why is chocolate and ice-cream calling me all the time...

NO, I'm not suffering from that time of the month, I haven't been suffering from it for quite sometime now. Early menopause, whatever you want to call it, whatever goes. Some part of me is feeling disappointed and frustrated in life. I know I'm still on the path of discovery, but I can't help feeling just... disappointed. I'm disappointed in myself for so many reasons. I fail in so many things I've attempted to do. I've shifted thoughts, goals and paths so many times. I've had so many betrayal of trust and backstabbing happen in my life that I feel it is so hard to commit to anything or anyone, afraid of going through the same thing again. It's just too painful to relive, and even though as the saying would go, "Once bitten, twice shy", unfortunately these things have happened to me countless of times. Things that I'm really eager to get ends up no more than an illusion, a dream. It ends up being a slap in the face. The stars are just too far out for me to reach.

And now I wonder, why I am in this body. Why is it that I'm looking at things from this point of view? Why am I here? What am I doing standing here? Why am I looking at the things I see? WHY WHY WHY? DAMMIT.

I'm just so confused. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know why I am here. But I do know my parents brought me into this world. And I'll do whatever it is that makes them happy.

I can't feel the same way about the world what I feel for my parents and sisters (obviously). How can I say this... the world's pretty warped. Or maybe I'm warped.

I can feel myself slipping...

2006-08-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

I don't understand why some people, when they cough (terribly and continuously), they can't seem to give a little more effort to make people around them feel a little less discomfort of feeling the air rushing past and sprinkles of saliva when the deed is done so often by just covering their mouth with their hands.

If I suffer from some kind of cough tomorrow, we all know why. GRRR.

Classes have really kicked off and I'm enjoying my lessons. My favourite lessons have got to be FTV (Film and TeleVision) because we get to watch a movie a week (not that we have a say in what movie we're going to watch), and write what we felt about it.

Photostating fees here kill. It's 2.5 times more expensive than Kuching's rates per piece. I'm just... stunned. I might as well just buy the textbooks if I were to photocopy the whole bloody thing. Of course, we wouldn't be photocopying, if not for the fact that those text books (recommended by Curtin Uni) are either out of print, or non-existent/not available - according to the bookstores I have visited.

I'm already starting to stabilise on my own two feet in KL - slowly but surely. I can't help but rant about how people, whether directly, or indirectly, are pressurising me into getting myself involved in... relationships. Guy-Girl thing. At the moment that is the last thing on my mind, because I do not want trouble from it. Though sometimes I can't help feeling lonely here, but I prefer NOT to have a boyfriend, and NOT one from the college. Just today, on the way back from the college to KL center, there was a girl and a guy in the bus too, who argued and ranted about 'being so desperate to get laid' and 'deserving better than this'. All the way back! Through the highway, past the toll, into the stagnant and heavy traffic... THE WHOLE FRIGGIN WAY BACK!

Gah. There. So nice to let it out a bit. Sometimes I just wonder why is it that when I fancy someone I can never get anywhere near them? Why is it that I get freaky people (maybe one day it might turn out to be prince charming, but at the moment I'm hating it so, so much) following me without introducing themselves until one particular day, they confess as if they've known you all their life and proposes a relationship to be formed there and then (when I don't know what I'm getting myself into?) And why is it that when I really don't want to be 'more than just friends' with some end up ruining good friendship by wanting to be 'more than just friends'?

I'll just say it. MY LIFE IS SO FUCKED UP.

2006-08-06T21:49:00.000+08:00

MaX gave me a surprise call today. Great to hear from him, and pretty much surprised that he's finding himself reasons to spend his money, while I'm locking myself in to NOT find myself reasons to spend money.

I've had quite a ridiculous week. I've been telling this to people over and over again due to frustration to the maximum. I guess it's about time I ranted about it on my blog eh?

OKay. So first week in LUCT, I was meant to register myself. I was horrified to know that despite the fact that I was a transfer from the Kuching side, my registration form is nowhere to be seen with the head of the faculty that I was supposedly registered under for BA in Mass Communication - The Faculty of Communications, Multimedia and Broadcasting.

So from Monday to Friday, I've been waltzing back and forth, making calls from one person to another, trying to locate my form. I was non-existent. There is no record of me in the school. WTF. After some phone calls back to the Kuching campus, I was told that they would fax the copy of my registration form directly to the person in charge of the course in the faculty, A.

So after a few days, I would look for A, wondering if the form ever got to her. It never did. She said nothing came through her fax machine. So I called up the Kuching campus administration again, and they again asked me to refer to A, who still denied that she has the copy of my form. So I called again, and this time, they told me they faxed my form to the registry. OOh. Now you tell me?! OKay. And who did you fax it to specifically, I asked? "Please look for E."

So I found E, who then brought me to the registry and found me my course transfer form, which is not the one containing all my information, but the one where I requested to switch from foundation to first year (because my STPM results were enough to enable me to skip foundation). That does not help, at all. So now, where do I look? "Look for R, R should have a copy of your form - she's in charge of the foundation students in our faculty and I'm sure she would have some record of you.

"Err... no, I don't have her forms," R responded. Damn. Now what?! She'll check. Oh, wait, there is some record of me in the computer! Oh, I've paid for the tuition fees... oh but wait. I've still to pay my security deposit and buy another 'Wings of Creativity' book? But I paid for those in Kuching, as part of the fees when I registered with Limkokwing, and had mum fax over the receipt! WHAT THE HELL!

So I called up Kuching campus again, and hoo haa haa hoo. I asked a very simple question, "Is my form in Cyberjaya, or not?" The reply? "I'll call back". And when they did, "Look for R, he has it."

GOOD GOD. He does have it. He's from the registry. Did he know the form is meant to be with the faculty that I shall be educated in?! Oh?! Uh.. Yeah.

Oh, this isn't the highlight... not yet anyway. It has just been week 1. This, is week two.

Monday. I'm here, I'm here. Oh the time table's out. Better jot down everything. Yes, ok. Got it. First class, today, 9am. Oh. It's 10am now. Oh well. Better go look...

On the whiteboard - Name of lecturer, phone number, e-mail address. Another lecturer in the room, whom I expected to be a female of the species, was of the male instead. "Are you a design student?" Obviously not. Wrong class. But the name of the lecturer on the whiteboard IS the lecturer that's supposed to be teaching me at that time...

So I called - "Oh. I dismissed the class. Too little people. Just introduced myself. I'll see you next Monday, okay?" OKay.

Drifted around - next class was at 4. The cafeteria food sucked. Veggies were bitter and yellowish. Yuck. Bought overpriced drinks. Read books... la la la...
So at 4 o'clock, I headed to the classroom.

"I'm sorry, what class are you supposed to be in again?" the lecturer asked. "Information age?" I answered. "Wrong class, dear. This is PR." Amazing! The lecturers both have the same name, and I don't know how I managed to see Classroom 7 as Classroom 1. So I went to classroom 1 - it was dark...

Okay. Obviously no one was inside. So I went to the faculty. "Oh, that lecturer? He's still on leave. Will be back next week."

OH NOW YOU TELL ME.

According to the current timetable, I have nothing on Wednesday. And since the lecturer for Information age will not be around till next week, there goes my Wednesday class too.

So Thursday it is then. I missed my bus, damn. Had to take the erl, which resulted in me thinking I was 1.5 hours late for class. Hoo. Wait! The timetable changed. Oh, I'm not having FTV this morning - its a LAN module...

So I waltz to the classroom, where there's this big handwrtitten sign pasted on the door - "LAN MODULE classes start next week (10/8). Thank you." THANK YOU. According to my timetable, I haven't got class till... 5pm. What am I to do?!

I ate lunch (more pathetic veggies), read a book, bought ice-cream(S), bought and read a few magazines, bought over-priced coffee and tarts, bought Ais Batu Campur, bought cake... till it was 5.

Headed to the classroom - oh gosh, it's dark. It's empty. There's no one there. Went back to the faculty, asked for the lecturer, and another lecturer said, "His stuff are on the table, but where he is... I don't know. I think you went to the wrong classroom! Go check the one on the ground floor."

So off to the other building I go, to the ground floor. Whee, there's light from inside the room! Class!

The aircon howls at me, the lights glare at me. But not a single soul in sight. Storming back to the faculty, I am met by another lecturer, M, who will not be teaching me at all this semester.

"Oh, I think this is a tutorial class. Tutorial classes don't happen during the first week."

OH NOW YOU TELL ME.

And suddenly, out of context, he continues, "You know, from the moment you entered this faculty, I've always wanted to talk to you and tell you something."

OOkay...

"Everyone in this faculty says that you look like an exact clone of my ex-girlfriend."

WTF. That was the only thing my mouth would have said if it were not paralysed with dumbness.

"TRUE! I even told my ex-girlfriend about you!"

I thought my patience had totally run out, and needed recharging. I didn't want to step into college grounds until the next Monday.

Ironic, bizzare, strange, interesting - whatever it is, gah. I miss home so much - home in reference to my parents, my sisters (and our useless bickering), my errands, my end-of-the-week-rituals with mum... sigh. But life moves on. I will get used to it eventually, though I do feel things are moving pretty fast when I don't want them to. I just didn't expect this to happen now - parting, starting a new life, somewhat. I don't want to grow up! Ah, who am I kidding...

Pray for me that things will settle in college for me tomorrow onwards. :)

2006-08-02T11:13:00.000+08:00

Okay. So officially, first week of classes have started. Oh, but how can it start, when some of your lecturers are still on holiday? Oh alright. First week is considered introduction week, and heck, there goes today. Now I wonder, is it worth the fuss for me to be in college tomorrow then?

Then again, being cooped up at home isn't right. LOL. Today I feel like I'm playing one of those Barbie doll houses when I was a lot younger, where I'd be in charge of what's cooking in the kitchen, where the laundry hangs, what is being washed, what is to be wiped, making sure the stove and the kettle is off... gosh. Somehow it feels so animated in an unrealistic way - perhaps its just stepping out, really. It was only two days ago when I was crying my eyeballs out saying I miss the things that I usually do at home, but I can't really be lamenting on and on about that now because whether I like it or not, things are going to be different from now on.

I had fun decorating my room yesterday. Naturally, this also burned a hole in a few of my pockets and probably destroyed my wallet, though it was worth it, in my opinion. My room looks a lot less bare and I think it's made me think of life in Kuching less. I've got Captain Jack Sparrow watching me when I sleep, and caricatures of Linkin Park on a poster that also serves the purpose of a memo board (coz there's quite a bit of won't-make-a-difference-whether-covered-or-not space on that poster). I printed out some photos I had on my phone as well to remind me of some of the good things and days I've had and that life moves on, and you can choose what to do with it. I'll be adding more photos from time to time, of course. :)

Gotta stock up the snacks in the house. I'm down to raisins and bananas, other than the frozen stuff in the freezer, a few cold cuts for sandwiches, some veggies and eggs in the fridge. No bread either. Kahaha. Told you staying at home is kinda bad.

2006-07-27T13:35:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone!

I've started my first week in college. LOL! Orientation week in LUCT is worth two weeks... First week is pretty much about getting to know each other. What sucks is the fact that I can't easily commute to Cyberjaya (the location of our campus) until August - the bus service had stopped for the month of July due to low.. response.

It's so nice to be around my new-found friends, Tiff, Kat, and Muneira. They're all so fun-loving and crazy, which I so totally love out of friends. I'm still stunned to the fact that I have to be independent and my usual weekend activities with my family can never be what it used to be... but I'll get used to it, eventually. Hey, it's gotta happen someday, right?

Anyway, I managed to see PCD, live. Right in front of my very two eyes. Thanks a million to Roy, who bought the ticket for me before hand. Even though the PCD only performed for about an hour (and I had to endure all the stinky armpits and wet shirts ever so close to my own skin), it was all worth it, because the PCD can sing, and hell, they can dance. They've got hot bodies and how I wish mine was like theirs. Dammit. Thanks to Roy too, I got a ride back to my own place here in Bukit Bintang. Oh yeah. Reshmonu was the opening act, and he so totally hogged the stage to himself for 30 minutes. Roy and I had the urge to hunt him down and kill him. :P We paid to see the dolls man!

Sooner or later dad's gonna install the internet connection at home. I've a laptop, so hurrah! Hehe. Can't wait. A lot of things in our condo unit is almost complete. I'm excited, and dad's estatic. :)

Well, no need to guess, yeah. I'm in a cybercafe. RM4 per hour, wtf? Haha. Anyway, I'd better make a move. Gonna think of something to do with my hair. Hate having to touch up when the roots start showing. XP

2006-07-22T21:57:00.000+08:00

Okay, so I left without saying goodbye. Okay, I did say goodbye, but to close friends and family members. I don't feel homesick now that I'm here in KL, but I sure do miss all the little things I would normally do with my family, like grocery shopping and fussing about what to cook for lunch. No more of that.

Now, in KL, it just occured to me how far apart things really are from each other. At LUCT (Limkokwing University of Creative Technology), everything's cool, though I feel a little out of place (I suppose I'll get used to it, really). But to travel back and forth, finding a place to eat, a place to stay... gosh. I think it would make no difference if I stayed at a place 'near the college' or 'my own place' which is in the city center, the heart of KL.

Everything is happening around here! Gosh. On weekdays things seem pretty quiet, but even if it was three or four in the morning, there are people out for food and drinks and walks. On weekends, the city doesn't sleep. There's constant music and entertainment wherever you go. Oh, and the sale season is supposedly approaching (month of August), but majority of the shops have launched their sale already. Haha! I'm frustrated though, I want to buy jeans and trousers, but all are not available in my size. I feel damn fat now. Dammit.

Anyway, today was pretty eventful. Rare coincidences happened today - first, I was coaxed by some lady who handed me a leaflet, when afterwards I enquired what was it all about, it was a model search thing. At the same time, another girl enquired the same thing so we were both listening. When she suddenly spoke of training and all sorts, we both said we were students, and strangely, we found out that the both of us are studying in LUCT, and that she is also doing Mass Communication (but only in the second semester of her foundation year). After that, we totally hit it off, doing a little bit of shopping before a noise from outside Times Square beckoned us to check it out. Apparently, Vincent Chong was performing there, in conjunction with some Disney premiere of the Asian Version of High School Musical. Err... I'm not a big fan of Vince, but Yen certainly was. So, despite the fact that the queue was full of little kids, we joined in and got his autograph (and took a photo with him). I was stunned to the fact that I even did such a thing! (Dexter, I think the shameless gene has just rubbed on me). I also met Serena C, but before I got to take a picture with her, she disappeared, because I asked for her autograph - she didn't have a pen, so she went looking for one and disappeared after that. Kind of. LOL. No one could locate her after that, actually.

Ooh yes, and I bought myself a copy of the original soundtrack for High School Musical. Really nice! I bet my two sisters are at home right now, saying to themselves, "I told you so". Peh. I didn't say I hated the movie ok? I'm just not raving mad about it like the two of you are. :P

So Yen and I continued shopping after that. Retail therapy failed me so bad this time around, because all the stuff I tried were just not my size. Bloody hell.

Before Yen and I left the scene to rejoin our family members (dad was looking for me, he's here with me for the moment), we bumped into men on stilts, women in funny puffy dresses and those funny clowns that twist the balloons into only two things - either a sword or a dog (oh come on. I can make that dog too). There were performances on stage too, a variety of traditional dances promoting the rich cultures of Malaysia. Ahahaha. It's not only about the Malaysian sale (that goes on three times a year), but also the tourism industry. Heck, there are a lot of Brits here - summer holidays, see? I even saw them eating durians at the kaki lima stalls of Bukit Bintang!

Ah well. I think I'd better stop for now. Don't want to miss on all the excitement happening right under my nose as we speak (or write). Till next time, TTFN!

2006-07-17T01:35:00.000+08:00

Curiously wanted to know why the 'Traffic Garden' is named as such.

2006-07-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

The Man and His Shirt

"What a lovely day! Lovely day, indeed!" the man exclaimed to himself. He took his new, favourite, purple-coloured work shirt from the basket in his room and brought it into the laundry room. He filled up a bucket with water and some delicate fabric detergent at the same time.

Ever since the maid left, this man has been washing and ironing his own work shirts. The weather was very permitting that day, as the sun shined and the wind blew gently. It was the weekend, and he could not think of anything better to do with his free morning. He washed his shirt clean, and placed it on a clothes hanger inside out. Buttoning up every button of the shirt, he smiled to himself as he noticed how his shirt was perfectly free from any stains. He made a grab for a few pegs on his way out of the house with his shirt hanging in his right hand.

He has had bad experience when it came to hanging his shirt to dry outdoors. Often, his shirts would be blown off the clothes hanger if he did not secure the buttons of the shirt well. He also learned that it took more than just one or two pegs to secure the clothes hanger onto the clothes line in order to not let the whole package be blown off into a certain direction (this could mean getting caught in the leaves and branches of a tall tree, or into the dirty, smelly gutter). Today, he said to himself, nothing is going to happen to my beautiful shirt. He placed the hanger onto the clothes line, and placed a few pegs not only on the hook of the hanger together with the line, but also a few more pegs directly on the left and the right side of the hook of the hanger. He walked back a bit to look at his shirt from a distance. He ran back into the house and out again to grab another two pegs and placed one on each shoulder of the shirt, securing the shirt well to the hanger.

Pleased with himself, he went back into the house and watched the television. No wind was going to make him climb a tree or wash his shirt over again!

After a few hours, he went outside to see if his shirt was dry.

His wife was watering the plants around the house when she heard her husband cry, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!". She rushed towards her husband, wanting to know what the fuss was all about.

"My Shirt. MY SHIRT!" he yelled.

"What happened? The wind blew it off again?" she asked.

"NO! It's MUCH WORSE than that. LOOK!" he pointed at his shirt.

His wife burst into laughter, but he looked at the shirt like as if someone had died.

There were two black spots on the front of the shirt. Two, large, seperate black spots on his favourite, purple shirt. Oh no, wait. There's something black hanging at one side of the shirt...

"What, on the washing instructions too?! BLOODY BIRDS!!!" he yelled.

Quickly, he took his shirt inside. after diluting the stain-removal laundry pre-soak with water in a bucket, he quickly threw in his precious shirt, and left it there for about half an hour.

He examined the shirt once more. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He took a bottle of vinegar and poured it onto the black spots. Not helping. He took some lime, and squeezed the juice out of it directly above the stains. Not helping either...

BLOODY BIRDS. BLOODY BIRDS! He kept thinking. I've only used that shirt twice!

He went outside again, looking at the birds. He went into the house again, and stormed his way to the store room. He produced a large saw, and grumpily got out of the house, heading towards the tree where he saw the birds were at.

"What are you doing?" asked his wife, who was puzzled with her husband's actions.

"I've been meaning to cut this tree for quite sometime now," he looked up the tree where the birds were perched at. "At least this branch over here. It looks... overgrown. It's getting in the way."

So down went the branch, and off went the birds. The man muttered to himself as his wife laughed hysterically, looking at her husband lug away the branch of the tree past the gates of the house and dumping it into the secondary forest not too far from their house. He returned to the laundry room, where he lifted his no-longer-a-favourite purple shirt and said, "Bee-O-Ess".

That man? Oh yes, he is my dad. This all took place this morning. Too bad we didn't record it, for our camerawoman was still brushing her teeth and was only ready for action when the 'time-of-death' was announced.

2006-07-13T14:51:00.000+08:00

Okay. So his name is Zac Efron. I've finally managed to watch High School Musical - and yes, I think he is damn hot.

But if I were to go out on a dream date, it would have to be with Captain Jack Sparrow. He's crazy, but I'd go crazy for him! LOL. Too bad he's a character in a movie, not a person in real life. :(

Okay. I've lost it, haven't I? :P Doesn't hurt to dream. :)

2006-07-12T07:54:00.000+08:00

I had just woke up (and had breakfast) after the most horrible kind of dream I never want to ever experience again.

It's already hard enough for me to get proper sleep... and now this. I couldn't get out of the dream, and I knew very well I was dreaming in my sleep. Worse still, the storyline of the dream is so bloody twisted - I have no idea what it is trying to tell me.

Believe me, the adrenalin rush and everything felt so real. When I'd fall I can feel the air rushing past all over my body - even though it seems to be a short fall i.e. tripping on one of your legs, it has been over exaggerated and slow-motioned. Plus, I'd end up falling into another room.

At the beginning I dreamt that I was the host of my own birthday party, helped out by one or two other individuals. At the party, all was fine until it came to game time, when everyone (which happens to be all my schoolmates I've met since I was a kid of the mere age of 6 till now) just ignored me and whatever was in the line-up of programs to pull out a microphone or two and started karaoke-ing in the most horrible manner. I fell to my knees, blocking my ears from the awful sounds when the floor underneath me disappeared. I was falling, and the next thing I knew I was in a skin-tight full-body black suit with my dad - we were both trapped in a room, where the floor would disappear once in a while, letting us fall freely to the floor underneath the one we were on. Somehow I knew what to do everytime the floor disappeared - and finally, it came down to landing in a few Thai thugs, whom will only attack you if you happen to make any kind of movement. In the end, we landed in a room with Cheesy Melts (like what the hell, now it's a KFC advertisement?! Eh wait, was it Cheesy melts or wraps... wth) where a few KFC waiters stormed in, as if wanting to arrest my dad and I, and since we didn't move, they grabbed the cheesy melts and broke the glass window an jumped out of it (and it was a pretty high floor of the building).

Anyway, the floor disappeared again, and this time, I was back at the party. The karaoke was still going on, and I couldn't really give a damn. The funny thing was, the party was being held at my old school, St. Teresa's. I was out in the field, and I could hear the horrible singing from the hall. Then I happen to find a camcorder lying in the grass, and the recording that I viewed through it was a reminescence of the past - the good times. I thought I'd play it for everyone to see, but when I went up to the hall, before I even managed to say a word, when everyone saw me they started laughing. Laughing a lot, at me. I wasn't sure why, but when I tried shutting them up and introduce the recording, they continued laughing as though I never said a thing. I checked myself out in case if there was something embarrassing hanging about me, but everything was orderly. I couldn't understand what people were laughing at, and I couldn't take it any longer when people started pointing at me. I ran, towards the music room, but found no sanctuary as people who were in there quickly grabbed hold of me and locked me up in the space (somewhat like a hidden back door) between the music room and the library - in complete darkness. I still hear the laughing, it went on and on.

The next thing I knew, there was a source of light above me. I looked up, and noticed it was a lamp post. I was crying, and there was no one in sight. No sound could be heard, no movement can be detected. I got up, and noticed that I was wearing a kimono. It was silky soft, not too bright an orange in tone with delicate cherry blossoms and its loose petals all over, of which increased in appearance at the end of the sleeves and the lower part of the kimono. It was beautiful, but soiled due to the fact that I was sitting at the pavement of the road. I got up and started walking aimlessly and lethargically, and I couldn't be bothered with my own messy hair that kept blocking my view as the wind blew. I had stopped crying, but it was a matter of time when I had myself in tears again when all of a sudden, one of the houses I was passing by had its door open and a woman, about half a head shorter than I was, with graying hair, stared at me. I didn't know what to do, but after a few seconds of eye contact, I broke away and started running wherever I had come from. I was afraid. I kept on running until I was tired, and that was when I stopped at a lampost, this time it was near a basketball court of some kind. Through the wire fencing I saw more people, and that made me even more upset, and as much as I wanted to move away, my legs were immobile. I fell to the ground. The woman I saw earlier caught up with me, and started patting me on my head as I cried. She sat next to me, and when I did manage to look at her face, I saw that she was crying, too. She then shoved me a newspaper article, which I read immediately. 'Beloved Geisha - Kuno'. I saw a picture of myself, seated, serving tea to an individual I couldn't name.

That woman spoke to me, telling me that I've been missing. People thought I was dead, as no one had seen me for a long time. When I looked at her carefully, I realised who she was - she was my own mother. All I could question was, where had I been all that time? What happened? Everything felt so real - I could feel my mother's touch on my head. She walked me towards the house I had seen her leave from earlier, and when I went inside, it looked exactly like the house that I am living in now. The streets were different, but the house was unmistakable. As soon as mum had shut the door, there was a few bangs on the door itself that could be heard.

And this was when I was rudely awakened by my younger sister, asking me loudly if I had the key to the downstairs kitchen. She wanted to have her breakfast, and she found the door locked. I didn't have the key, but since I was rudely awakened I couldn't go back to sleep.

Seriously, I wonder if this dream had any message in it - normally my dreams put me in dejavu situations, or give me a kind of warning before things happen (I've only begun to trust this recently because it's apparent to me now that bad things happen after I get bad dreams). Garr...

2006-07-11T07:46:00.000+08:00

The World Cup is finally over. And no, I didn't get my own jersey. :(

Ah well. I must say though, the final match was nowhere as exciting as Germany vs. Portugal. If I had it my way, I would have Germany and Portugal in the finals. :P Yeah, maybe it's because I am in support of Germany. :P It was nice to see Kahn on the field again - he always looked like a menace at the goalpost!

Zidane lost his cool, the three musketeers went down. It was a tad bit sad to see men cry. Within the last few minutes, when he had such close calls, Henry was talking strategies to himself, looking rather mad. Nonetheless, a penalty shot within the first seven minutes of play time? That was a bit of a shocker, nonetheless Zidane nailed it - he was cool. He ended his career on a bad note though - a red card. :( As for the Italians - well, we had pasta in the house today.

So, what have I gained from all the world cup excitement? Ah, besides weight (come on, snacking heavily (I've tried every type and variety of cookies and keropoks you can think of), past midnight, falling asleep on a full stomach... etc) it's probably... proper sleep? *gets slapped* Haha. What I mean is, the importance of getting proper sleep. I think I've got to get more sleep and think less of exercise and food (to the point of obsession). That, is probably the reason why I refuse to sleep more than 6 hours a day. By now, I think my metabolic rate is so messed up. Ah well. Even as it is (Wa QING PUI), I'm so lazy to hit the gym.

In a week's time I'd be leaving Kuching, to pursue my studies in LUCT. The idea of parting with my immediate family members kind of upsets me, but if I deny this opportunity to break away, at this age, will I ever be prepared for it? It will eventually happen one day, whether I like it or not. I'm going to miss spending my weekends with mum, where we'd do grocery and whatever shopping, facial, coffee-and-cake breaks, preparing lunch and dinner, meal-times out with the family... AAARgh. Too much to take! I should emphasize on the fact that I have to be independent from now on. Yup. I know I can cook! I know I can wash my own laundry! I know I can take care of myself... (Hey, I did get my desperate house-girl training after all).

Over the past week, I got to meet three LUCT ambassadors, namely Tiffanee, Em, and Kat. Oh wait, make that five, adding in Munira (she's so sweet!) and... Tech? Lol. I didn't get properly introduced to the thorn among the flowers - he's one really cool dude. ;) I love the fact that they were all very outspoken - true ambassador material! Hehe. I hope I can make just as much impact (if not more) as they can as an LUCT ambassador. :)

Oh yeah. I haven't brought this up to mum yet, but I'm hoping she would agree. I've been asked to model for a bridal show this coming weekend, but part of me is feeling too damn nervous to be back on stage, and there is my little belly I am worried about (plus, I'm not THAT bothered to actually get down to any belly-removal processes). To be cautious about the walk and the runway... oh gosh. It's all a bit much to take now, and this weekend? Just... too soon! Aaargh. *bonks head* Nonetheless, the only thing that's making me want to do this is the fact that I can wear them bridal gowns WITHOUT having to get married! >:)

Ah well. Back to house chores it is. Can't wait to catch Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest. Captain Jack Sparrow, I'll see you this Thursday.

2006-07-05T12:41:00.000+08:00

Today, my heart has been torn to pieces (just when I was still sewing it back together!) by not just one man, but eleven. LOL. Yes, I'm talking about the football team I have been supporting all this while - Germany.

Just when I thought they were at least going to go for another penalty shootout, within the final two minutes of extra time... one goal for each minute was scored by Italy. Like, OMG. It totally crushed me. TT_____TT

Ah well. There's always 2010. This time around, the teams that were expected to at least make it to the semi-finals did not make it, and Germany... oh Germany. Never mind. Ballack's still hot. Heheh.

Got to say something about England when they battled it all out against Portugal. I admired the fact that they stuck out to the very last minute with ten men. Ferdinand's blocks were awesomely accurate. Beckham was taken out too soon, but he is getting old anyway. :( Lampard (he's cute), he's had so many chances at the goal, though none proved to be successful, at least he tried. So did Hargreaves... and Rooney, what a little push to your team-mate could do... (though I really think he did not deserve it, at the most, a yellow card to Ronaldo for butting in something that required nothing of his concern). But when it came to the penalty shootouts... OMG. Hargreaves got one in, just by luck. :( *it totally sucked, kay?*

Heck, I'll be rooting for Germany for third place nonetheless. I'm not really interested in who will win the cup now, but I do want to catch the finals for the adrenalin rush. :) I still want a German football team jersey, though.

2006-07-03T06:15:00.000+08:00

I've been poked by Wade Doyle.

4 jobs I would stink at:

Security Guard(ess) - Oh, come on. I can jog, not run. If the job is 'monotonous', I'd sleep on it within 5 minutes or so.
Pilot - I'd prefer to be the passenger. I am accident prone.
Computer Programmer - watch the whole thing fall apart in my hands.
Accountant - Gimme 5, Wade. Let's go shopping.

4 nicknames I’m making up for myself:

Miaka - I just love this Japanese name (and it has no meaning. Just love the sound XP)
Cho - In short for chocolate?
Fee - In short for coffee?
Kat - Seventh doll for the PCDs?

4 movies I can watch over and over:

Freaky Friday
White Chicks
Digimon: The Movie
Drumline

4 alcoholic beverages I enjoy from time to time:

Shandy
Red Wine
Shan Dee
Red Whine

4 fantastic destinations I would like to go to on vacation before I pass out:

Milan
Italy
Japan
USA

After I pass out, I can still travel right? I'm going to see the whole world!

4 things I love to do on weekends:

Enjoying coffee and cake somewhere
Grocery shopping
Dining
Walking around

4 celebrities I would like to go on a big date with:

Jonny Depp - in his Jack Sparrow self
Hugh Jackman - in his Wolverine self
Teddy Gallagher(?) - the dude that sang 'For You, I Will'
Zack Something - the one from the High School Musical movie? Heard he's hot. Like, flaming hot (now that's something)

4 objects I could not live without:

My cellphone
My clothes
My sunglasses
My... *whatever cardio gym equipment*

4 gadgets I do not have, which I would like to have:

A nice, big, plasma TV
Blackberry
Espresso machine
One of those cool spy thingamajigs - a watch, but not just any ordinary watch...

4 “poor souls” tagged:
Me.
Myself.
I.
Saya.
Oh look, they've all been tagged and have responded anyway! XP

2006-06-27T15:36:00.000+08:00

There is pain, it's so near my heart.
To describe it, I fail.
To deny it, I try.
Even so, it is overwhelming me, and now I cry silently.

The days and nights pass.
I wonder if there is anything more to life.
I am puzzled by the behaviour of many.
Helplessly falling into a pit of lies, it seems.

Tackled one problem to give rise to another.
The truth to social acceptance hurts.
My life cycle seems of a butterfly.
Discriminated while I was crawling, noticed when I started fluttering.

Promises of sweeter days.
Words of warm comfort.
I'm the last person you want to hurt.
But with that, I was the first person you killed.

No more can I feel the thrill.
There is no excitement.
I am never satisfied.
Nothing I do feels right anymore, as my thoughts brag that I could do so much better.

Friends, are you slipping away?
I don't hear from you... or am I not listening?
What do I have to do to get you back?
I guess I'll get you back, if I looked better?

I thought I knew how love felt.
I felt so much at ease.
I felt a sense of security.
But all that, turned out to betray me.

I am crying, because of the pain.
The pain is there, because I am in fear.
The fear is there, because I have failed so many times.
And now, I don't know what to do - for I am numbed from everything else.
I am at a standstill - I don't know how to love, not even myself.

2006-06-23T22:36:00.000+08:00

Ah, more interesting sights (and sounds, literally) spotted, and believe me, I think because of the semester break, I'm even more bothered than usual to take photos as such... hehe!

While I was at the Sunday market, I was making my way back to my mum's car (to place the groceries somewhere so that we can continue purchasing more without lugging so many plastic bags everywhere) when nothing-out-of-the-ordinary ice truck suddenly stopped not too far away from me.

After I locked the car to return to the market, I noticed that the back of the truck had words that did not make any sense to me...

And I started to wonder if these words are actually found in the English dictionary... or is it English, even?!

And soon after that, I was slightly stunned to have spotted this 'thing' sticking out of nowhere...

Aren't these... protected species?

Anyhow... dad allowed me to follow him to the finals of the Proton International Open Badminton Championship held at our very own Indoor Stadium in Kuching. I loved watching the matches, but there was one thing that irritated me a lot...

So I guess the traditional applaud is not loud enough. But seriously, I think the traditional applaud is much more tolerable - and I can be very sure that the players were also rather distracted by the noise made when you bang those two inflatables together. I'd rather burn more calories AND save the headache...

And don't you think this is one of the causes of road accidents? There are so many of these kind of images to put people off from smoking...and roads. (I'm kind of traumatised, really).

One of my favourite desserts or tea-time treats, really. I love almost anything cold. Nonetheless, I couldn't help feeling a little queasy when one unusual day, the jelly that usually came in appetising colours (eg red, yellow, pink) came in...

And talk about spelling errors...? Not in something as professional as this, I didn't expect to notice it until I was made to wait next to it at the traffic light.

Well, I guess they mean well when they merge the two words together. What a great difference it makes, however, if you add a slash at two slightly different places (but not too far away from each other). The sign reads: MASTERSKILL, by the way.

MASTER SKILL

MASTERS KILL

And finally... plural of cheese?

Okay, so I have nothing better to do. Actually, I have a lot of things to do! For the entire week, I've been working on keeping the house clean, cooking lunch (and all the preperation work such as de-skinning and de-fattening the chicken pieces), washing clothes and dishes, and sending my sisters back and forth for school and whatever extra classes and tuition they've got. Other than that, I've also been running errands (such as food shopping, dropping off laundry for dry cleaning, delivering items to my grandmothers, mailing letters and so on). It's been keeping me rather occupied (at the same time I managed to sneak in some extra sleep - I tire too, ya know). Haha! Therefore, doesn't it make me a candidate on Wisteria Lane? At least, a DESPERATE House-girl (coz I'm not (and nowhere near) married).

Hope you enjoyed this update. ;)

2006-06-16T06:54:00.000+08:00

The Boy Who Turned Into A Young Man

Speaks his mind, with unseen boundaries,
Knowing when something is lacking, he knows what to do.
Considerate, he always is,
When proving a point, he shows no aggression.

Neither does he blow a big balloon,
To which some, gives them a better confidence.
Nor does he puts up an act,
In hope of giving false, ideal identities of themselves.

With patience, he waits,
No matter how the opportunity comes, he knows when he deserves it.
Obliged, as it is within his means,
Indeed, my friend, you are a man.

Dedicated to 'THE BEAST' of chilax (you know who you are). :)

(C) Azzie

2006-06-14T14:31:00.001+08:00

Now that I have quite a lot of time in my hands (don't get me wrong, I still have a lot of house work to do - maid's no longer working with us, she's gone home for good :) ), I'll use some time to blog.

I've been snapping a good deal of pictures on my phone while going around town. Haha. Just some things that I thought should be kept (and showed) in my blog.

*slips on banana skin as somewhere in the crowd, I hear, "So much for your DSLR baby!!!"*

A coincidence, while shopping in MidValley, I bumped into familiar mascots, supposedly from the movie, Over The Hedge. :)

Another coincidence, I was walking around Sungei Wang when I happened to encounter... the Masked Rider. Not my idea of a wonderful experience tho XP

Yet another coincidental encounter, while I was eating (ALONE) at Nando's Chicken, Sungei Wang, when Miss Universe Malaysia and Miss Nelson something (some company) stepped in and joined some kind of buffet going on there.

Uh.. during election time, when posters are told not to 'mess up' the area, I guess we'll just have to make do with whatever else is around. I suppose the cat statues have a say in it too.

Our Japanese family crest, Kuno, Three-Petalled hana, proudly placed above the entrance of my uncle's newly built house (I took this photo during a housewarming event). My uncle is of the first generation.

My two classmates, while I was there to quench my thirst, requesting for another round of Chicken Rice at Point One Cafe. (I'm going to miss them a lot)

My sisters, my cousins, and myself watching TV in our little home back in KL.

The accident at a T-Junction (with traffic lights and all) which I couldn't really understand. The poor, poor car. Notice how the traffic light is totally unharmed.

The fitting session - trying out our outfits and making sure they fit before the fashion show. :)

I really love the VonJolly collection - unfortunately, I was not involved in their round of the fashion show :(

On the first day of the 'World Eco Fibre and Textile' (WEFT) forum, I volunteered as a photographer. Once the job was done, we were all hungry. I baked a tray of brownies to share earlier that day (at the back of our lecturer's ride).

My granny's cat, deciding to pose while I was chatting with my granny. Can you believe this pampered, spoon-fed feline?!

The beautiful sunset of Mukah.

One day, the owner of this restaurant is going to get sued. Have you watched One Tree Hill, starring Chad Micheal Murray, Sophia Bush... etc?

Some restaurant in KL (along the roads behind Bukit Bintang (Star Hill). I just wonder what they do during the 24th hour...

Look familiar? (POSTmag, BorneoPost, 27th May 2006)

Hmm... (POSTmag, BorneoPost, 10th June 2006)
I know there's another one, of me in a brown kebaya, but I can't seem to find the article TT____________TT

And now... pictures of the assignments ~~that tired the hell out of me~~ nyoooo!

1. Intergrated Project (Combination of creative studies and design studies.
I chose 'food and packaging', in this case, of the traditional cookies made by the native Melanau here, Tebaloi. Of course, everything here is non-edible. :)

(a) The cover - shaped like the Melanau's Terendak, a hat used to shield themselves from harsh sunlight.

(b) Lift the cover and behold! Tebaloi, made to look like the young frond of the ferns. (Ferns are a delicacy here).

(c) Under the fronds, there is a book...

(d) In which every page, the silly little story unfolds, and there is a piece of tebaloi in each plastic page.

2. Design Studies

(a) My very own magazine, PRR. Just to show I know how to use them grid systems.

(b) Signage in a butterfly park - it was quite a mess, the board curled up the moment it dried after painting over it. I JUST CAN'T PAINT! Damn the thing. Caused me so much trouble! Emphasis on the signboards, not the so-called ground, k? XP

3. Photography

(a) Photomontage - cutting out six photos or more, putting them into one using Photoshop. MUST use text to promote whatever you are promoting with the picture. (This one costed me a lot of money).

(b) Fashion photography

(c) Product photography

LOL. That's about it, I think? Quite a lot, in my opinion. Been accumulating. XP

Do not even ask me to explain this... but it was a memorable outing :)

2006-06-13T06:55:00.000+08:00

YEAH! I handed in the last of my assignments yesterday morning... which officially means, I AM WORK-FREE until the next semester comes in! AHAHHAHAHAHAHA! I feel so good about it now, I can watch as much football as I want, read as many books as I want... KYAAA! I've been wanting to read so many books but have been putting them off a lot recently. Now I'm currently reading 'Memoirs of a Geisha', which is, so far, enthralling.

And, I got tagged, which I only got to answer the call since my net is now working! ><

Well, here are the rules of the tag:

-The tagged victim have to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
-Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
-Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
-If you are tagged the second time.There is NO need to do this again.
-Lastly, most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

Gender of my perfect lover: Male

The 8 different points:

1. Must be able to do what he says he will
2. Eye candy in my own eyes
3. Would accompany me on shopping sprees/trips
4. Loyal
5. Loves chocolate and ice-cream as much as I do
6. A good listener who's always there for me (and vice-versa)
7. Huggable
8. Loves to talk (to me)

I tag...

2006-05-27T15:03:00.000+08:00

Well, my blog's (not exactly) dead. LOL.

Had a hell of a day yesterday really. I remained awake for 36 hours, in vain attempt to finish all the assignments I had due.

And now, for the most hated word (or phrase, rather) of the year - RE-DO!

LOL. Not that I'm afraid to admit, my work isn't exactly presentable. Food and packaging? Must be 'close to the real thing'. Ah well.

Managed to stop by for a small bloggers meet, which officially (but NOT officially) happened in Coffee Bean. Met a few familiar faces, and a few new ones. The Pelf sisters, they looked alike, but it didn't occur to me at first (as their hairstyles were different!). Unker Francis was selling cookies to raise funds for her daughter's prom. *chews*

Just as a note, I appeared in the papers today! LOL. It seems that after the whole WEFT (World Eco Fibre and Textile) forum thing, there's a weekly write up on the fashion show, so I guess I'll be turning up at least four times. :)

Not only that (yeah, call me sakai why don't cha) I just received my first official pay yesterday. Mum claims it isn't much, but hey. It's a start. Not bad for a first timer at modelling, what.

*stares at terendak* I'd better go finish that off. Have to pass up after meh vacation to KL.

2006-05-13T06:28:00.000+08:00

Okay... So it took me THAT long to realise that I've been tagged by two people >< (Feli and Ivor)

Oh, the disease...

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Sleeping...? Or playing hopskotch, maybe...

What were you doing a year ago?
Um... I guess I was in school, doing my usual patrolling? If it were a weekend, I'd be sleeping. ^^

5 snacks you would enjoy:
1. Chocolate (bittersweet/dark are my absolute favourites!)
2. Ice Cream
3. Wasabi Coated Nuts
4. Fruits, except mangoes and avocados
5. Cake (especially Seattle's Blackforest - Won't EVER say NO!)

5 songs to which you know all the words:
1. Negaraku - National Anthem, who wouldn't?
2. Ibu Pertiwiku - State Anthem, who wouldn't either?
3. Puteri St. Teresa - 9 years in that school...
4. Suka-Retto (Scarlet - Ayashi no Ceres OST full version)
5. Evanescence's Bring me to Life

5 things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Sponsor my own education
2. Take good care of my family (esp. mum and dad)
3. Travel around the world
4. Open and manage a small coffee house (MUST have espresso machine)
5. Get my own gym + trainer

5 Bad habits:
1. I never comb my hair
2. Like to say *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* and *beeeeeeeep*
3. Like to dig in between my nails
4. Like to scratch my head for absolutely no reason
5. Forgetfulness (it's so bad that I allow so many events to clash and the misplacing of items causes so much inconvenience to others)

5 things you would enjoy doing:
1. Drink coffee
2. Travelling
3. Shopping
4. Exercising
5. Looking out for hot guys *gimme 5 Kim*

5 things you would not wear again:
1. School Uniforms (hate them)
2. My favourite denim skirt (which is getting too short)
3. Belts that ACTUALLY hold your jeans up (they either make you look like you're wearing a guni sack or they just don't work)
4. Boho skirts (sorry, so 'last season')
5. My favourite orange coloured kebaya (I made a few holes in it the last time I wore it coz weight gain caused all the joints of the clothing to stretch)

5 favourite toys:
1. SLR Camera (this is, my baby)
2. Cellphone
3. iPod
4. Mr. Bean's Teddy (I have one!)
5. Lip gloss/balm

So... who are the 5 people I should 'infect'?
1. Daryl
2. Hzz
3. MaX
4. Fenix
5. Aiko

2006-05-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Today has been quite an experience for me, and I really am thankful I had the opportunity I thought I never would have.

For the first time (and hopefully not the last) I was on stage, modelling. At first I was bloody nervous, as all I could see was the bright light and I was practically guessing where the end of the stage was. I wasn't too comfortable exposing my flabby belly (a lot of people were telling me to do more abs-related exercises), and I know if mum or dad were to see me doing so they'd go ballistic, nevertheless, the other half of the show had me feeling settled in.

My photography classmates bullied me into thinking they would not take photos of me during the fashion show (had enough of my face, so called), but they did anyway, and now they are charging me RM 10 for one 8R sized photo. Darn it you guys. That's not fair!

Anyway, hopefully I'll manage to leech some of the photos from my classmates nonetheless. I'd love to put them up here!

Work work work... I'll get on it... uh... the coming Monday. Modelling is fun, but I know mum and dad aren't too happy about it because they think it's really a last-resort kind of job for me. Pish.

Thank you so much, Vicky, for all your yelling and criticism, I wouldn't have learned much from you if you had done less. :) Thank you also, for believing in me.

2006-04-25T07:55:00.000+08:00

1. are you over 15?
- Who's over 15?

2. what is the wallpaper on ur cellphone?
- my sister and I

3. did you get enough sleep last nyte?
- Sorta

4. first thing you thought about this morning when you woke up?
- Magnum Ice-Cream sitting in the freezer...

5. what do you have on your bed?
- 1 blankee, 3 pillows, 1 bedsheet, 1 matress, 1 iPod and 1 notebook

6. ever tried to skip meal?
- once upon a time, but now food is just too good to skip

7. grilled or fried?
- prefer grilled, but I won't say no to fried ones either!

8. what makes you unique?
- You'll know it when you see me :)

9. are you afraid of the dark?
- Rarely, but yes.

10. fave movies?
- Freaky Friday, Mean Girls, White Chicks... geez, how many favourites can one list? It's never going to end!

11. 3 thgs you cant live without?
- Chocolate, Cellphone and people.

12. first thing you will buy if given one thousand dollars?
- One thousand won't do you justice these days. So... a few crates of diet coke?

13. favourite songs you like to listen before sleep?
- BEEP

14. what are you afraid of?
- Losing anyone close to me.

15. are you a giver or a taker?
- I am a balance of both. :)

16. what are your nicknames?
- Azzie, Miaka, Sachiko, Az, Lee, Zillee, Jepun-ese, Zee...?

17. what's ur dad's middle name?
- ...

18. most recent movie that you watched?
- I don't remember... oh wait, it was... wait, I forgot... Oh ya now I remember! When a Stranger Calls

19. if you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
- Go kiss all the hot gay guys (too bad you are all gay)

20. stuck on a deserted island & could have only one kind of food for the rest of ur life, what would it be?
- This is a stupid question. Chocolate, lah!

21. fave tv commercial?
- Toyota Vios, the one with the cardboard car displayed used as bait by the living thing in the lake to lure passers-by!

22. how long do you like him/her?
- Who or what is this... him/her?

23. first thing you'll save in a fire?
- My cellphone

24. your eye colour?
- Brown

25. what are the things you always bring?
- Wallet, cellphone, bag, earphones, uh...

26. whos' on ur mind ryte now?
- My mum

27. what do you usually do when the clock turns 7am?
- Go online

28. the colour of ur bedsheet?
- Either a shade of cappucino+browns, or turqoise+pink+white

29. who do you want to meet?
- Tan Sri Lim Kok Wing

30. how's life today?
- Its.. OK. :)

2006-04-24T17:12:00.000+08:00

Well, let me review what I've to submit or purchase by the end of this week:

1. Colour wheel (I can't paint when I'm tired, and the poster paint should not be too dilute or too concentrated as the result will turn out to be shit-worthy).

2. Human Comm. Essay (data/research - cause and effect)

3. Colour gradient/compatibility chart

4. Malaysian Studies 'Independence Hero' essay

5. Questionnaires, research and all sorts for Intergrated project

6. Auto Flash adaptor/sensor for studio photography

7. Two models and two products for studio photography

Apart from all that, there's something else that has a bigger effect on me and is constantly questioning itself. It is making me feel guilty because I do not share this with my family but with my close friends who I'd know would be happy for me about it. Mum is unhappy when I got a chance at it because she thinks the company would end up exploiting us all at the end of it, and dad... well, let's just say he's in the dark about it.

Modelling. Not that I've done any of it yet, we're still 'in-training' after passing the interview (and officially hired). IMO this modelling agency I got hired with isn't a very well known one, and for now, we're receiving 'how to walk-the-walk' lessons. It was only yesterday (literally) when I received my first official training. For the very first time in my life, I've managed to obtain a wound on one of my toes on my right foot (specifically, the third) due to much walking practice in a pair of three-inch heels. As for the walks, they are not easy at all, plus, there's so many different kinds-I already had difficulty remembering the first and only one I was taught yesterday.

Somehow I also see why people say models have this statement that goes, 'Thin is beautiful'. I don't know how some of the current models there even manage to walk, being so prick thin it looks like one hug or glomp could break them into pieces in an instant. I know I shouldn't be comparing myself either, because it's not a healthy image, but when I can't help it, I feel like an elephant among the flamingoes. They kept telling me to 'tuck in my tummy' (=__________________=) which made me feel a little bit more close to the edge.

To make matters worse, I did something that upset my younger sister. Dad bought her a 2GB memory card just yesterday to replace her 512MB memory card for her phone. Dad told me not to delete the files in the 512 just yet. So, I obeyed and waited till she came back home from my grandmother's place (after her usual 'read-the-Quran' sessions during the weekend). She hogged the computer straight after, and this was when assumptions should not have been taken. I was halfway through with my colour wheel when I gave up and thought of re-doing it another day as it turned out to look like sheeeeet when I decided to admit that I was feeling really tired. Then again, I was unhappy to the fact that my day turned out to be rather unproductive - I then shooed Ween off the computer so that I could at least set some questions for a questionnaire (part of my intergrated project). At the same time, I recalled her saying 'You can have my old memory card', I made a grab for it and THOUGHT that she had saved all the files that she wanted - apparently not. Before I knew it, as I trashed the files, she came to me and bombarded me, in an instant, I was shouted and screamed at. I was terribly shocked, and now I feel so awful.

One bad day, and I have no idea how to talk to her because I really hated the way she just exploded at me. I was frightened and I don't know how to respond to it.

2006-04-19T11:55:00.000+08:00

Oh, my dear blog, every day I would think of you, but when I do, I'm bound to everything else I have to complete with a deadline constantly ringing in my head. :(

Anyway, I found out that with my STPM results I can skip my foundation year in LimKokWing. Also, the modules/subjects I'm taking now are just add ons to enhance my abilities in mass communication (RIIIIGHT). I don't know how but something was amiss when I was briefed on my integrated project - it's a three-in-one deal, design studies, creative studies and analytical drawing. Unfortunately, I did not take up analytical drawing, therefore how am I supposed to 'integrate' my project? Hmm...

So then, I sat down and analysed the subjects I was supposed to take for BA in Mass Comm, and spoke to the lecturers about how Photography and Creative Studies were not included in my requirements in order to complete the degree. OUCH.

Apparently these subjects are included in Diploma in Multimedia and Broadcasting. A MIX-UP! Best part still, the people in Cyberjaya was the one who approved my timetable for those subjects for BA in Mass Comm? Okay...

Nevertheless, I was afraid how mum and dad would react to the news. All the fussing about getting an SLR camera (which is now my baby), cutting those mounting boards to the extent that I was driven insane by the 45 degree cutter which managed to slice a few times through my skin, and buying all those expensive equipment bringing me one step closer to being able to open a photo studio...? Gosh. I was so worried!

Thankfully mum understood that it was an advantage. Seriously. To think about it, a journalist with photography skills can do so much more than one who doesn't have. Plus, photography has got me on a high, just like drugs, only, it's far safer. Haha! Dad also sank in to the idea, and they both responded enthusiastically by saying I should open a studio down at the Waterfront, buy loads of traditional costumes, open at a certain hour of the day and cater to tourists who want to dress up in those costumes and have a shot taken! (Not a bad idea, actually).

Argh. From the last time I posted, I weight 56kgs. My so-called ideal weight, though people have been throwing comments at me saying I'm too plain skinny for their liking. (And this isn't just one or two people, but MANY). So, I hope you all are happy, and for once, just leave me alone on my weight issue, as I've gained 7kg up to date! Okay? :)

2006-04-09T06:42:00.000+08:00

For this weekend, I was torn between two choices - chill with my schoolmates for two days and one night at Lundu, or stay back, and help take care of my granny.

My granny, who's walked the surface of the Earth for more than 70 years, went for an operation last Wednesday, removing part of her colon. Suspected to be cancerous, the results of her biopsy only came in yesterday, and it was confirmed that she was suffering from colon cancer and had to return for kemotherapy.

My granny's a fighter, I know she is. Not only does she suffer from high blood pressure and diabetes, one of her arteries (close to her heart) is slightly blocked by calcium and to the doctor's opinion, it is best that the calcium is removed.

I know no one can live forever, but if anything were to happen to my granny, I cannot accept the fact if she were to disappear suddenly. It would tear me to bits, because that would mean that I've taken her for granted, thinking that she would always be there.

In my childhood days I visited her often. She had one pet cat then, named Simba (which I stayed away from because for some reason I was allergic to short haired cats. The moment I got near one I'd start sneezing, my eyelids would swell and I'd develop rashes). She pampered this cat as not only does she comb it and bathe it often, she'd feed it (with a spoon, straight into its mouth) canned tuna mixed with rice. Now, she pampered more than 5 cats (I don't know how, but they all look so clean, so healthy...) My granny made the best local cakes I can remember - from the kuih piring (shaped like the UFO) to onde-onde (spherical green, starchy cakes filled with melted brownish sugar (gula apong) coated in grated coconut. Her garden is one of the most beautiful and well-maintained gardens in Kuching, and the fruit trees she grew bore the sweetest and fleshiest fruits ever, which to my opinion, none of the fruits of the same kind obtainable in the market can compare with. Though my granny can be really fussy, I love her very much. The thought of losing her scares me a hell lot.

I don't visit her as often as I used to - in fact, I rarely do so these days. But I remember year after year, visiting her during Hari Raya, she would break down and cry, saying how she wished our grandpa could have been there with her to watch all her grandchildren grow.

I know humans aren't immortal, and someday we will eventually have to let her go. But not now - not when she's still fighting for her own life. It made me realise that life is so precious - anyone thinking of taking their own lives should see that there are many others fighting to save theirs.

2006-03-15T20:31:00.000+08:00

It is very satisfying indeed, having passed up all my assignments, not a minute too late! I'm pleased, as I've passed up four weeks worth of work and managed it in one - may not be my best, but it feels good. Yeah!

So now I have a bit of free time to burn, what else but to lay back and play a few games, watch anime, read comics, and so on... hey. Maybe I'll get round to finishing Kingdom Hearts 2 - knowing that my STPM results are going to be out tomorrow - I hope it won't affect me much emotionally. 90% of me is sure I'm going to fail in all subjects (only God knows - and the examiners - how bad I really did). Bleh. It should not affect me in any other way, though, because I am sure of what I am doing now, and nothing is going to divert me into getting back into the old cycle and traditional thinking of 'Science is Everything'.

Gyaa. Just can't wait to get this all done and over with. I'm so sick of having to think of what I have gone through in the past. Perhaps this will allow me to finally let go of it all.

2006-03-07T09:38:00.000+08:00

I seem to be the favourite target for many syllabus reshuffling. LOL. But so far, this is the only shuffle I am not upset over - because whether it was the previous one or the new one, I'd still love to work on it anyway.

So, my comic's been put on hold - there may not be a need for me to complete it after all! Though, I have this eager feeling of completing it nonetheless as I feel that it would be a waste since I've chipped in quite a lot of work into putting them all together.

Plus, my design studies is also going through a re-shuffle - kyaa! I'm supposed to be focusing on typography on the first half of the semester - but I've been designing... posters and use of lines? Ah, very little typography indeed. But at least I made effort to read up on it, because somehow I knew it wasn't right for me to close one eye on it! Well, no worries, I'll catch up for sure. :)

I don't know what other students think of me, though I think it would be fun if I asked them around for a rationale of me (if only I were in Soo Boon's class... then I'd have a reason to!) - but I wass surprised to see Allan giving me a salute when I konked Albert's head with his own camera bag (which I had to lug around for him because he kept leaving it lying all over the place regardless where he disappears to!). Oh, and my favourite sunglasses (which the guys love to fiddle around with!) is starting to show its age - the coating is starting to peel off :( I'd better start hunting for a new pair, though I'm reluctant to let those go!

Yup, I don't seem that busy this week eh? That's because my major supposed-to-be assignments are being put on hold, so I haven't much work. It'll all come in later, I think, just like the local quote, Durian runtuh. >_<

Bleargh. Everytime I think of a relationship it all falls back to one thing - it'll never happen. Why? My mind's still lingering on being deceived. Moving on, I do feel like it, but my thoughts never fail on falling back to the same fact over and over again. I get so beaten up by it, and I really do not want to go through it again. But the prospects of being single - after a long run you realise, you're going to be pretty lonely.

You dented my mind - I cannot think the way I used to. You've made me scared as I am afraid that I'll be pushed into the same black hole again. Always taking and rarely giving, you showed me how cruel people can be and how they can mask it all up behind a fictionous character. I know I'm not ready, and you couldn't care, but I know too that I will eventually let go of all this one day, and I hope that is the day that you discover that the mask you hide behind can no longer protect you.

2006-03-02T06:32:00.000+08:00

It was such a relief to have submitted the visual mindmap that was supposedly handed in yesterday, but majority of my classmates had fallen behind and I ended up being the only one handing in my visual mindmap. I'm feeling good about it because I'm one burden less compared to everyone else in class :P (yes, I'm so rubbing it in, but all the time I spent on completing it paid off!)

This was the completed visual mindmap - I'm supposed to be creating a comic, based on either one of four themes - Comedy, Adventure, Romance and Horror. I chose romance (hohoho!), and the storyline, well... it's here. :) Read it if you wish, it's rather... long. ^^; (Terry had the nerves to point at me during class and go, "FREAK" since he was struggling with one page! BLUEEEK!

A girl named Payton, lying on the bed in her room, looks worn out, tired, motionless but awake, even though it was a beautiful day. Her room was dark, as the windows were shut, and the curtains were drawn. The door was ajar, and little light was allowed in her room. We can see that she was in pain, not physically – the sadness was expressed in her eyes. As we focus into her eyes, we see what she was visualising at that very moment.

Her memories goes back to her schooling days, where she had first met this guy, Brendan, who seemed very lively, energetic, and full of enthusiasm whenever a class was being held. He had characteristics that she liked, and furthermore, as time passed, she grew fond of him, as he showed that he was protective, caring, and forever full of happiness and always had the right things to say to make rough moments seem a lot better than they really are. So, after a few months, she couldn’t keep her feelings bottled up – through short messaging, she used the cellphone to tell him her feelings towards him. Through the text conversation, they made it clear that their studies were a priority, and that the most they can do is reserve a special place in their hearts for each other.

Throughout the flashback, we see memories of her doing school activities together with Brendan. She was pinning up decorations to the dining hall for a special dinner to bid farewell to the outgoing prefects when she tripped on her way down the ladder, but she was saved when the guy helped her steady herself. During the dinner she sang a song, to which after the performance, he escorted her off the stage, and handed her a rose. On school trips, like hiking the mountain to look for some plant specimens, instead of taking photos of the surrounding, Brendan would take photos of the girl instead. During break, they would sit together and eat whatever they have packed and shared it with each other. On Valentine’s Day, they exchanged gifts, and from him she received a white rose, a bracelet, a selection of skincare products, chocolate and a card. She treasured those gifts very much, and smiled herself to sleep that very day.

A few months had passed by. The Payton looks weary and worn out, and it was obvious that she was getting thinner, but she seems to be the only one not noticing. She started to develop a case of gastritis, where she would wind up in hospital a few times in the time span of a few months. Yet, among all the visitors she gets at the hospital, none happen to be Brendan. She would send short messages to him once she recovered, but rarely would she get any response, and when she did, his excuse was that his phone credit was low so he could not say much.

Everyday she would get remarks of concern from friends to eat more, or eat carefully. She felt hurt, as there was nothing she could do about it, as she was already careful of what she ate and yet she couldn’t exactly identify which foods would trigger gastritis. She confided in Brendan what she heard and felt about it, but instead, he replies, “Why should they care? I mean, have they seen Libby? She’s as thin as a stick! I haven’t got a problem with that!” From then on, she felt sad that she was being compared and there was no tone of alarm in his voice that assured her that he had any care for her. Her grades started slipping as her concentration during classes began to deteriorate, in addition to being absent for classes most of the time. She had become frightened of eating, as it would hurt her. She was lethargic almost all the time, and she knew that she was pressured as the major exams drew nearer. She had received letters of encouragement from friends overseas, visits from school friends, and extra care from her family. Even though everything seemed complete, there was always someone missing in every picture – where was the person that she had reserved the special place in her heart for?

Never once during her absence in school did he ask her how she was doing, or what work is there to be done, or how much he would have missed her. As the days passed, she began to wonder if he was avoiding her. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she sent a short message to him, asking him straight whether he knew what she was going through.

His reply shocked her. He said he would not talk to her until the next time he saw her in front of his own two eyes. She knew it wasn’t possible at the moment, and even when she did had the chance he barely said anything to her, or even show a little concern in what happened to her. She cried as she read the message, and asked him if he had any concern or knowledge of what she was going through, but his reply had hurt her more. He wrote, ‘Look, leave me alone. You were the one who wanted all this. I told you, studies first. And right now I have no time for you.’

We return to the present day, where she still lies on her bed, but this time crying. She would wail, that she failed at everything, and all the sweet times, the person she thought she knew, were all fake, and at that instant her eyes focused on a penknife, and she scratched out the word ‘useless’ on one of her arms. It bled, and it stained her bed sheets. She asked herself, “Will I be able to fall in love again? Will I be alright?” as she cried a little more.

Luckily I didn't work on a storyboard, which was supposedly due yesterday too, because our lecturer, Rose, said it wasn't required any longer as they received a new list of requirements towards the completion of our modules. For Creative Studies, storyboards for the comics are no longer involved.

My first artwork submission was in Design studies, where we were supposed to draw out anything that connected with communication or the ways we interact with each other (without the aid of language) by using graphic pens and pencil (which is erased after the image is formed of the variety of lines). I did a treasure map, hehe...

And again in Design studies, my second assignment was to promote a certain item via ads - posters. I came up with two, promoting some drink called 'Lighten Up' (I don't want to get sued for using copyrighted or trademarked items :P).

That's pretty much it so far, I still have one more artwork due for Design studies (haven't completed it yet and it's due tomorrow - AARGH!) and a lot of photographs to be taken. Here's a few photos that I'm quite pleased with:

There are loads more - but I don't think anyone would want to see the whole thing (the total photos I took all add up to 900+ - thank goodness for SLR digitals!). Uploading them on the net is a hassle too - due to the 8 mega pixels and highest resolution, it takes me about 10 minutes to upload 5 photos (and all being re-sized anyway).

Okay, so there's a lot of work to be completed - I've cut myself off from TV (although Kong did let me indulge on good anime - Rozen Maiden) and I'm not too easily found online (even if I was I'd be partially doing my research work ahaha). STPM results are coming out soon - BAH.

Last night, I went adventuring, tagging along the big procession that was going on around the city center hoping that I can test out my skills at photography at night. Stupidly I focused on moving subjects, and... well... lets just say the outcome of it all was not my idea of 'good work'. Thanks to Hzz for accompanying me last night (my classmates abandoned me :( I was all alone!). Panning is a lot tougher than it sounds, and moving subjects are definitely a no-no. Well, it's good that I experimented, or I would be caught off-guard if we're having a trip down to Lundu this Saturday (Allen or Terry have yet to inform me on this! You guys are leaving me out - so MEAN!).

Anyway, I'd better get a move on, I've class this morning. Nikki won't be pleased if I were late, and further more... we might be having a trip down to a bead making factory (that's gonna tick Nikki off even more =____= It's always her class that gets interrupted for trips!)

Oh just before I go - couldn't resist trying out some blogthings! XP

You Should Weigh 135

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.
If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!

How Much Do You Weigh?

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.
You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.
Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Element is Earth

Your power color: yellow

Your energy: balancing

Your season: changing of seasons

Dedicated and responsible, you are a rock to your friends.
You are skilled at working out even the most difficult problems.
Low key and calm, you are happiest when you are around loved ones.
Ambitious and goal oriented, you have long term plans to be successful.

What Element Are You?

2006-02-21T07:26:00.000+08:00

Though the updates on my blog barely signifies any movement in my life, I can tell you my life is always on the go.

Now I'm into my third week at Lim Kok Wing - and so far I've been handed quite a number of assignments, all of which I have no reluctancy to complete. Yesterday, we all went out to Carpenter Street (the 'China Town' of Kuching) to take photos of the architecture - I had a lot of fun there as I was mistakened for a journalist, tourist, and a freelance photographer. No less than twice did a car honk at me, with the driver pulling down the window, asking me where I was from! The people from Hainan Association were really nice too, they allowed me to take photos from their balcony (four floors up!). The view was amazing - and so was the contents of that building - many red lanterns, stone carvings, statues, stakes (for what, I wondered?) and pots. Sankyuu~!

Everyone at LimKokWing is really great. The lecturers are your best friends, and the friends you make here are so full of life. Coincidentally, a really old friend of mine happens to be taking more or less the same subjects as I was - and I was very, very surprised to see that our paths have crossed again. The last time we met was at Bahasa Malaysia tuition when I was with LSH (and even then, he was studying form 1 while I was studying form 3 BM). It's really nice to see him again - and all I've got to say is, 'Move over, Paul Moss. I think Simon Cowell has met his match!'

I've also started on a part-time job at Wings Coffee. Though being a student I'm only allowed up to 6 hours of work, 6 hours is more than enough. Business is rather stagnant during the day, but when the sun goes down, just wait a little longer and the crowd will come. :) Alongside getting to know more people and serving them, I learned how to use those espresso brewing machines and make ice-blendeds. Whee! That doesn't mean I won't go to signature coffee houses ever again - where's the fun if I were to drink my own coffee? XP

Oh yeah. While waiting for my sister to finish with her piano lessons at IMH, I met Ben! Nice to know he remembers me after the Kuching Blogger's Meet. :) Anyway, just after visiting his blog, I think it's about time I went to get my hair trimmed (and possibly coloured?). In fact - I'll go, now!

TTFN!

I got tagged.

2006-02-14T00:50:00.000+08:00

Feli tagged me! XD

1. What did you do for the last Valentine's?
Um... bought gifts, and went for tuition.

2. What are you planning to do for the next Valentine's (tomorrow)?
Go for class, come home, hug sisters, mum, dad, and go to bed.

3. What would be the ideal place to celebrate Valentine's?
Uh... home? I dunno. Never had a good experience with Valentine's so I don't expect better experiences with Valentine's days-to-come.

4. What qualities in a person would make an ideal Valentine's date for you?
Uhh...sweet, gentle, open minded, outspoken, and only has eyes for ME.

5. What gifts would you buy/have bought for your partner?
The thing is, I don't have a partner, but if I did, I would buy him something that he'd appreciate. I'm no 'stereotype' in this matter. :P

6. What gifts have you received/would like to receive from your partner?
Have received? BLUEKK. Would like to receive? A year's subscription to a mag, cute/nice accessories, and all would be perfect if sealed with a kiss :)

7. What's your all-time favourite romantic movie?
Ho... hum. Does Fushigi Yuugi count?

8. If you could choose any person on earth to be your date on Valentine's, who would it be?
That cute guy over there. *points*

Tag, I will:
Aiko-chan
Ezel
Fenix
Kitsune
Max
Mindy
Naomi
Ivor
Shinnoir
Sora/Fahri

Bah.

2006-02-11T14:31:00.000+08:00

When someone says they are just being 'concerned' of you, would they ask you if there is any guy that is of interest to you (meaning, one that can take up a 'special' position in your life) among the new people that you have met within this week?

Pathetic, really. It very much ticked me off because I told this person time to time that I wasn't ready to embark on any kind of special relationship and he keeps bombarding me with rather personal questions (all regarding my interest in him or any other male of the species), as though he couldn't trust what I have just said to him. Does anyone think I have any right to be angry or upset with him? At the moment, I do. I am very pissed. If he can't trust me when I say I'm not ready, why can't he respect that? Ugh. I'm upset to the point that I don't feel like wanting to know this person any longer. Talk about over-bearing.

I've been hurt, okay? Hurt pretty bad. It contributed to more than half the pain I had experienced during my breakdown. I don't need this to repeat itself now, and not for the next few years. Unless that person can guarantee that they would rather stick a knife into themselves rather than into me, and is a person that I can truly entrust my heart to (and when I know it's really safe) then I'll probably jump into it. Probably. For now, I want to shape my future, and I need nothing that has the potential to sabotage it. My parents - my family, has done so much to pull me out of the darkness and there's no way I am thanking them by plunging myself back in while they are still helping me out.

I want to be a people person. I want to be the person anyone would find easy to talk to, and happy to be around with. I want to be able to write stories passionately, and present myself well in front of others. If I could, I want my name to be familiar in most households, in a good way. I want to see every different cultures and civilizations of the world. I want to do well enough to earn me a scholarship, so I can say a proper 'thank you' to my parents for giving me the chance to rebuild my life by sponsoring my studies in Mass Communication, which doesn't come cheap at all.

Yeah. Maybe it's the childish call of Valentine's day, where people are just rushing into things because they don't want to be left out of the occasion. But I much rather be on my own two feet first before I let myself get hurt again.

Rusted. Yeah.

2006-02-09T19:44:00.000+08:00

*sweeps dust off floor with feet and wipes cobwebs off the low ceiling*

Like, how long has it been since I last blogged? What a record. But on a better note, my internet connection is back up! YAY!

Anyway, I don't think it's worth it to write about what's been happening for the past few weeks (while I was missing in action). The only thing I can probably recall clearly is being in Kuala Lumpur for Chinese New Year for about nine days. We all spent most of the time just hanging out (mind you, during the first two days of CNY, barely any shops were open! We scrambled around town for lunch and dinner, and even McDonald's could afford to let us down with basically nothing left on the menu but chicken burger. Sadness!) or chilling back home. I helped dad paint the walls, and took turns doing house chores every morning. Friends we met while we were touring China invited us to a barbeque, and we had a lot of fun running around after little Adam, who would make the whole lot panic whenever he started running towards the flames or the gutter, eating the night away, and playing funny card games. We also managed to chill out with our cousins, running mindlessly in the gym and playing tennis in the dark of the night (because it was raining in the evening and that spoiled our plans). Of course, all the shopping and unlimited supply of Frappucino and BOLD shots of long blacks from Starbucks had me floating on cloud nine, but it all had to come to an end in any case. :( Nevertheless, if you have too much of KL, eventually you'll get bored of it.

The next day, right after coming back from KL, I started a new chapter in my life (doesn't that sound so... cliche? XD). On Monday, I stepped into Lim Kok Wing's Insitute of Creative Technology, Kuching, wanting to start on my foundation course in communication. However, it was to my horror to discover that I was the only Mass Communication degree persuer in Kuching at the present moment and I was meant to be in Cyberjaya (Selangor campus). In my offer letter, everything was as if I were going to study in Kuching (as fees differ), and on that very day they told me I had to be 'shipped' to Selangor within that week if I wanted to complete the degree in Mass Communication. I totally was not expecting this, and my mum went completely beserk! What was made clear to us was that I could choose to complete my foundation year in Kuching and continue the other three years in Cyberjaya, or I could complete the whole degree in Cyberjaya itself. No one had informed us that if, in any event, there are less than 5 students who register for the Degree in Mass Communication in Kuching, a class cannot be established, therefore all can only be done in Cyberjaya. GREAT.

So what happened then? Mum had a lot to say, scaring a few of the administrators there for making such a BIG mistake. The end result was that I could settle whatever modules I could do here first within the first semester, and as for the second semester onwards, it's Cyberjaya I go. So, for the time being, I am going to weave in and out of semester one, two and four classes, seeing different faces on different days of the week! Hee. :)

Our classes officially begin next week, and I can hardly wait. I have photography, creative studies, design, Malaysian and Islamic studies coming my way. As well, I applied for a part time job at Wings Cafe, because I felt that at some point I had to practice breaking away from the family (sad as it sounds) since I would be leaving and living on my own from June onwards this year.

Anyway, I think I'd better get going. Last day of orientation tomorrow, and we have a get-together tomorrow night, at a steamboat place (I forgot the name) to enjoy good food, and at the same time do a little bit more ice-breaking with our seniors and juniors alike. So far, so good!

2006-01-25T20:30:00.000+08:00

I had fun meeting up with fellow bloggers last Saturday night. Yeah, a late post, really. Nevertheless, better than nothing, don't you think?

I was quite late (as usual - but the fact that it was pretty hard for me to look for a parking space as well as being new to the area helped), nevertheless that didn't stop anyone from having fun! There were four tables all together, and we took our time socialising. The only new person I met at the table I was seated at was Ben, who knew my sister. :/ It was pretty interesting to get to know everyone - and we had a blast cooking (and burning!) our food on a hotplate plus steamboat thingy. Our table had a 'bias-or-lopsided' flame, so on one side food cooked really quickly, while the other would burn in a matter of minutes (and the middle wasn't cooked).

Argh. The agony of not having enough time or battery power on a laptop! Anyway, I've just finished editing the photos (as in, resizing - I don't do 'photoshop-ping). Just to save me some typing, heh! (I couldn't take photos with everyone - my phone's memory space was rather limited). Argh. I should stop with the bracket thing...

And later on, we moved on from Hornbill Corner to Tao's to have a shot of coffee before going back...

And if you read Felicity's blog, myself, Felicity, Rachel and Amanda have been hanging out for old time's sakes to catch up on stuff with each other (Rachel is currently studying in Perth, Australia and was on a break). Miss her loads already!

Okay, I really have to go now. Kinda sucks being a nomad! :P Oh well, till next time!

I thought my lucky number was 13...

2006-01-09T16:15:00.000+08:00

Eheh... Brendan sent me a link via e-mail to try this quiz out (by tickle).

And this was what I got!

What's Your Lucky Number?
Azelea, your lucky number is number Five!

Hey there, smarty pants! You Number 5s might wear that nickname well because you're pretty clever—sometimes too clever for your own good. You have an incredible thirst for knowledge, but you don't glean all your information from books. As your Observer moniker suggests, you divine information from watching others—but not always from an up close and personal perspective. That doesn't mean you're not good one-on-one, however. In fact, you'd probably prefer an intimate setting with intelligent conversations over a rockin' party with a crossfire of smack talk. You've got a brain like a sponge and the work ethic to wring it dry. Whether it's finding a cure for cancer, solving a crime, researching the great American novel, building a house, or designing the next killer application, your wisdom is vast, Master 5. Just be careful you don't trip that nerd alarm on your way to the Nobel prize. Other 5s who share your creative bent? Georgia O'Keefe, Isaac Newton, and Stanley Kubrick.

Anyhow, that's that. Nothing much to report this week, except I'll be pretty busy handling more responsibilities, like cooking lunch and doing more house chores. Yeah, the maid took her leave for a short while, so I've got to fill in while she's away (since I haven't much to do anyway). Today's lunch was chicken breast sandwich (tucked in a croissant), cauliflower in cheese (which was the only thing that didn't turn out so well) and trust me to include loads of fruits in the menu! :)

Oh yes, and there was this interesting article in the Star newspaper last weekend (I think it was Sunday's paper) where a journalist went undercover as a disabled and tried to hitch a ride on a cab. On wheelchairs, and waving to almost 60 cabs, less than ten responded, and only three gave him a ray of hope to thinking that not all cab drivers are heartless. He noted that some cab drivers won't take him anywhere unless he paid double for his 'journey back'. True, tougher to the disabled, but to the able, the cabbies can be pretty rude too. Some don't want to take you in their cabs if you don't agree to their ridiculously high flat pricing (no use of the equipped meter). Some won't take you because the area you are heading to is not the area he feels like going to'. Since I don't live in KL, I am, most of the time, assumed to be a foreigner, and when I do hail a cab, somewhere in the middle of the journey I am bound to be caught in a jam, and the cabbie would say, "I know a shorter route, and it's clearer at this time, I don't want to go through this jam." The next thing you know, he brings you around the city. And get this, my dad took a cab because he was tired from a long day of walking around KL - not only was he charged a flat price of RM 8 for a less-than-five-minutes ride (no one else in that area would take him anywhere using the meter!), when dad said, "Keep the two ringgit," the cabbie shouted back, "HEY! I'm not a beggar ok?!" and as soon as dad was out of the car, he threw the two ringgit out and sped off. What the hell?

Anyway, the newspaper hasn't been bringing much good news lately. Miners trapped, 12 dead, one in critical condition. 720 kg cement mould falls on a doctor from the 20th floor of a construction site crushing him instantly to death. Ariel Sharon's condition is getting worse, and is most likely not able to return to work. Ice skating rink collapse, hotel building collapse, landslide tragedy, avian flu victims... and the death counts are rising. It frightens me that more disasters are reported as the days go by, and it makes me cry to see things get worse as more is uncovered. I'm thankful that my family and friends are safe from harm, and I hope it stays that way. I will always have you all in my prayers. :)

Well, I must leave. Time's up, got to pick up my youngest sister from tuition. Happy Raya Haji to all those celebrating!

ERk.

2006-01-05T15:24:00.000+08:00

Okay. I'm like some kind of nomad or something. Or at least I feel like one, jumping from one cybercafe to another. Sigh. I hope to get my modem back soon...

Anyway, just wanted to note some strange sightings or things that happened in the past few days that I just can't keep my mouth shut about. Here's one - I thought parents would be more responsible with their kids when driving the car. It was raining, or rather, drizzling when I saw two kids, probably no older than six, one obviously younger than the other, stick their heads through the open window, to spit out sweets. It's probably a thrill to see the sweets smash into smithereens as it hits the ground while the car is moving, but it frightened me to see that one of the kids had half the body out through the window! Not only that, it amazed me when the kid spit out not one, not two, but six to seven pieces of sweets!

Another would be at the post office. Why on Earth do you make a few service counters? Duh. So that service would be faster, and more efficient. People don't have to wait in long queues, let alone all the way up to the outside of the building! Well, what is the point of having those service counters when you only open one? ONE? I wanted to buy stamps, to post a few letters and Chinese New Year cards. For that, I had to queue with those who wanted to settle their bills, those who wanted to bank in their money, and all-sorts for ONE WHOLE HOUR. Just to purchase four stamps?

Thirdly, traffic never fails to irritate me. Yeah, since I do have free time my parents left me responsible for picking up my two sisters from school. I do not understand why drivers like to double park and wait for their kids surrounding (not to mention blocking) the main gate to the school. The traffic light before the school then becomes almost useless as less than ten cars could cross in one turn, because no one can move any further! And when I do get past the gate, there's barely any traffic in the school car park area. Exactly. WHAT THE HELL?

Lastly, there were two incidents that happened while I was away on vacation, both involving sudden death, roughly at the same location. One was a person just literally dropped dead at the lobby of a certain club house, and not too long after that, another person had a heart attack while working out in the gym of the same club house. With these events, I'm not sure about going out to the gym. In fact, I'm not sure about exercising now!

Anyway, enough with that. It's not cool! A few days back in this town and I'm already bored. I met up with Wade at Seattle Coffee and Tea yesterday, and since I haven't had a slice of wonderful chocolate cake and aromatic coffee from them in such a long while, it made me recall many things that I had been through in the past few months. No doubt it was painful, and a few times during the day after that, I felt like bursting into tears. Thanks to Wade for letting me take some out on him. :) With him around, it reminded me that I have made plenty of good friends over the past year, and without them I would never be the person I am today. I managed to hold back my tears because if they did flow, it was not worth it. There are other things in life that are worth the tears - war, famine, plague... and for the person who had me decieved and believing in empty promises, I know better. I know there are greater things waiting to happen for me out there, and I know one day, that person is going to look back and regret pretending and hiding behind a mask which was the only reason why people couldn't hate him. Well, tough luck dude. You're just not good enough for me now!

There, that made me feel a lot better. :) Eep, come to think about it, it sounds a bit... harsh. Ah well. I did type it out after all.

Ah. So in comes the new year, I should run a list of the new year's resolutions! Fresh new start, bigger pictures in life, maybe? Ah well. Better late than never, eh?

1. Learn to speak Mandarin. Hey, professional communication, is it not? :) I want to do my best!
2. Tone down on being such a shopaholic/having the eye for the expensive.
3. Slow down on caffeine and sweet stuff(wrinkles and eyebags are getting pretty ugly).
4. To be strong, witty and let no boy control my life!

XP Yeah, short list, but will do.

Just before I go, I want to leave a note of thanks to my family and friends out there. THANK YOU, I love you all!

China

2005-12-30T22:04:00.000+08:00

Yes, as the title says it, I am currently spending time off in China with my family. We joined a tour group - there are thirty of us and it's been really fantastic!

I'm quite sure the ultimate question you are all asking yourselves when you read this blog entry is - "Why is it that Azzie can blog now, and not anytime before this?" *eyebrows raised*

Well, after the overnight train ride from Shanghai to Beijing, and a whole day out yesterday with the new tour guide, Hassan, we landed in a serviced apartment-hotel at night, where in every room there is a computer, with (guess what) FREE internet service. How cool is that?! YEAH BABY! *thumbs up*

Since arriving here, China's weather (cliche as it may sound) did not welcome me well. It was extremely cold (I think we went to Huangzhou first?) and I certainly did not like the idea of having my meals literally swimming in oil (come on, try and imagine a soup consisting mostly not of water but of oil) or thick sauce/gravy that gives you that uncomfortable heaty feeling in your throat sometime after consumption. I shouldn't complain really, because I think without it I could not possibly adjust to the weather as I have now - but I know it won't help me back in Malaysia. I am constantly feeling hungry too - I eat practically anything almost every hour (which is really bad). My lifestyle is definitely going to change after this experience - now that I know how it is like to have your day jammed pack with all sorts of activities to keep you occupied, and unless you have allocated the time to actually make it down to the gym, you can forget about getting consistent exercise. I haven't been to the gym since Wade made me embarrass myself lifting weights in front of many people in Fitness First (KL) and for some odd reason I'm not really bothered about it (as I usually would when I do not do any single form of exercise or sport three to four days in a row).

There is this dangerous language barrier that exists if you have no idea whatsoever on how to communicate in Mandarin. The only few things that majority of the Chinese here would understand are 'discount' and 'tea'. Seriously. I think I really have to consider taking up Mandarin :/ Why even consider? Because China truly is a magnificent place to visit, and I think it'll do me justice if I could communicate with the people here.

I won't elaborate on too much, but I will write of some of the interesting things we did (and came across) so far. Shanghai is definitely a shopper's heaven, and Huangzhou is full of beautiful plants, regardless the weather or season (though the tour guide, Ing, insisted that it looks the best during spring). We visited a few places controlled by the government such as the silk factory, the jade-making centre, crystal making centre, herbal medicine research centre, and the pottery. I must say we've learned a lot from these visits, for they do not only intend on selling us their items, but they actually reveal to us every single step of the processes involved in the production of whatever they were selling. Beijing however, is very historic, and for a person who has her mind wandering or sleeping during every history lesson in school, saying this would really be something. What was strange though, was finding Starbucks Coffee in the middle of the Forbidden City (home of the Emperor of China in the olden days - when hierarchy decided who is to become the ruler of China). The Great Wall was really something, too. I could only manage just about three hundred steps back and forth respectively, as the bitter cold made its way through my boots and the steepness and unevenness of the steps irritated me. Oh, and if you do have the chance, do ask me to show you the recording I made during the climb up the Great Wall - it's really a good laugh! (Won't spoil it here, I'm telling you, that recording is worth more than a million words could ever express!).

Anyway, I should really get some shut eye. The past few days had me waking up real early and going to sleep real late, so yeah, instead of seeing any real live panda bears around here, there's one staring right back at me every time I look in the mirror. Hee!

Merry Christmas, and A Happy New Year!

ear!

Brilliant! eh?

2005-12-09T08:09:00.000+08:00

While I'm having a war with my internet connection (actually, I've figured out that there is a form of connection between 7am-9am, after that it acts up on me '=____=), I've been doing other things to keep me occupied. It does help when your parents leave you assignments of the day, like cleaning up the cupboards and running errands around the city.

Even though I have much spare time, I must confess that I'm starting to hate the idea of exercising, or rather, having to keep up with an exercise schedule. Now, I just exercise spontaneously - yeah, so pile up the pounds, it may seem, but I couldn't care less. I've had my share of two extremes, being overweight and being underweight - I'm working my way to find a balance in that, just like everything else in life. Now that the stress of studying isn't affecting me, I worry less. What the past two years have told me would most definitely go something like this:

1. For your future's sake, do what you love, or enjoy - something that you will stick to for the rest of your life.

2. Don't go chasing after things that majority of people seem to be chasing - who said it would suit you anyway?

3. Being thin does not mean being beautiful. Only Hollywood seems to think so, although not everyone agrees that it's not nice to see bones protuding from underneath a person's skin on your television screen.

4. Don't ban certain foods - there is a reason why food is prepared that way, and it is to be enjoyed and eaten! Just, enjoy in moderation. Overdo it and it'll pile up on you, exclude it and you'll be craving for it. (And seriously, you do not want to have cravings for things - you'll end up going for a food rampage).

5. Friends are people who do not have any intention of hurting you. They will accept you for who you are, and are always there to watch your back (by that I don't mean wondering what's inside the trunk/jeans/shirt XP).

6. Love yourself - it is only then when you can love others.

From form 6, I cannot say I've done my ultimate or put my best effort into learning what I wanted to persue in the future, but I've learned many things about life - much more than I would have imagined, from the beautiful people around me. It is unfortunate that our current education system does not embrace one's creative side very well - considering that our country is still undergoing development, it is more focused to science and technology.

It is not that I hate to study science - I love science. It has been in my field of interest since I was first introduced to it. I had a dream, of becoming a doctor. Though I do fear the sight of blood, I know I could have adjusted myself to it as I've done a few white rat dissections which gradually became easier after the first dissection. If given time to explore I feel that I can do very well in this field, but there is this craze where everyone wants to complete doing things in the shortest period of time. Theories, formulae, facts - we are all forced to understand them and accept them the way there are, without understanding them. To me, what is the point of just swallowing the information wholly? Is what we are studying at the moment truly insignificant to what we wish to become? Constantly, in my mind, I hear the drumming of "Why, why, why?", beckoning me to know the reasoning to all the existence of the theories and facts. They remain unanswered, as the mind is denied of the supporting facts - and the main reason? Time constrain.

That being the case, I've used my free time (partially) to think of other options. If the inquisitive mind is refused of answers, then perhaps it's better to look at one's skill, or strength. I did not consider this until a friend pointed out that I could do so much more with the creative side of my mind, which took me a long time to accept. No one can deny that the world largely depends on equations and mathematical analysis, but who said that one cannot live with the absolute minimal knowledge on those? There are an exceptional few who have brilliant minds in those subjects - but that is their strength, and not everyone has to have it.

With this, I've chosen to resume my studies next year, in February. I will be taking the degree course in Professional Communication at Lim Kok Wing's Institute of Creative Technology, which will take four years to complete. The foundation year will be done in Kuching itself (they recently opened an institute here at Travillion mall), and the next three years will be done at the Cyberjaya campus in Selangor. If I wanted to, and if my parents would allow it, I can go overseas to complete the final year, but we'll see about that, hee hee. I know I cannot be wrong in making this choice - professional communication is not only about journalism - you are taught the skills to relate to the public, to communicate with the world, write scripts and novels, conveying messages... these are the things I feel that I would stick to and enjoy doing for the rest of my life. Out with the old dream, in with a new one.

True, nothing in life is easy. Everyone has to struggle, because if it were that simple, every single individual would be prospering in every aspect of life. But, when you have the choice, do something that you feel no doubt, but confidence in yourself.

With that, there isn't a day that goes by that I do not think of the wonderful friends I have, regardless whether they have been there with me since my younger days or people I have just related and bonded with in the past two years. I thank them every day, for helping me up when I fell, for guiding me when I was blinded. I wasn't taking care of myself, but now I will. There's so much more to life, I know that now, and I'm going to live it to set my own and see others progress.

Inactive? nah!

2005-12-04T23:23:00.000+08:00

I am eager to update my blog at least three to four times a week, but lately my internet connection has been thinking otherwise. This is just one of the rare opportunities I have at the moment (of being on the net, sadly).

Life after exam is... fun, I guess. I get to do a lot of spontaneous things, like when I have brownies in mind, I will bake a tray or two. When I feel like visiting a friend, I'll do just that. When I have a craving for the gaming arcade, I'll go to one.

I'm starting to have an attachment to fresh flowers. This week, I have pink roses and baby's breath lingering on the top of the chest of drawers in my room. :)

Hee - Here are some events I think are blogworthy.

Last Monday afternoon, I had a meeting (or rather, a get-together) with a friend I recently met at a gaming shop, Sal. He wanted to teach me to play the Yu-Gi-Oh trading card game, which I have yet to pick up an interest in, with his friend (who I also turned out to befriend with) Victor. In exchange, he wanted me to give him advice and guidance to holding Yu-Gi-Oh Trading Card Game tournaments, since I used to organise the Pokemon Trading Card Game tournaments, back in the days when the game was a big hit.

Last Wednesday, I had a friend come over to spend the entire afternoon (and ended up staying till 10pm!) with my sister and I at our place. We baked brownies, which turned out really well. We also made maki (sushi rolls), in which Ponana (a combination of potato and banana, a nickname I concluded for him at the end of the day) produced extra large ones that would fall apart if you attempted to eat it. XP Ween's maki was not rolled together well (she forgot to use the bamboo mat!), while mine, well, I'd say turned out ok (but no one has a say in it since I took it all to myself and shared it with my youngest sister, Eleena, who was busy playing the PS2, minding her own business). I managed to watch a little bit of Sky High, which turned out to be a rather interesting movie indeed, and played a song that I had halfway written out during the week, with him. The last thing we did was have a little bit of something to eat at McD's (which was really close to Ponana's house - he could just walk to it whenever he wanted to!), partly due to the fact that I needed a hot drink badly (I couldn't stop sneezing either!) and Ponana wanted something to eat.

On Thursday however, I had an X-classmate drop by my place for a visit - Rachel! I was glad to see her - she has this tendancy not to tell you in advance that she's back in Kuching for a break (she's currently studying in Australia - and practically lives there). After sending my sister off to her orchestra ensemble practice, we went to chill out at the arcade. The fun had to end though, for Rachel needed to get back to her place by 5.30pm as she had to attend a dinner function with her dad. We enjoyed ourselves pretty much in the arcade, and we planned to work on a little comic or story during her next visit, hopefully next week. :)

The next day, when lunch time arrived, cries of joy could be heard from the form fives as they are done with their big exam (SPM). After lunch, my cousin, Renz, stopped by my place, and he, together with my two sisters, were dragged out by yours truly to the arcade. (I love the arcade, don't I? XD) We all had a go at head-to-head racing, beatmania, and in the end, I couldn't resist playing para-para paradise (a sort-of dancing game that requires you to move your arms/hand/whatever part of the body you want XD towards the 5 different sensors at certain parts of songs). At night, we went to the movies, to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (my second time). Renz caught up with two of his best pals, Dexter and Teo. After the movie, we went to Seattle Coffee and Tea, to enjoy some cake and drinks.

I pretty much managed to keep myself busy, but at the same time, freedom can bore you. Plus, nothing really motivates you to do productive things when your mind is set on holiday. I know my legs are turning into logs, and fats are just accumulating at my waist, and I should really hit the gym, but all those thoughts are currently drifting at the back of my mind. I'll get down to it - someday. :)

I guess that's all for now. I'll blog again when I have the chance! ^___^

I'm back~

2005-11-24T22:10:00.000+08:00

The exams officially ended on the 21st of November, 2005 (or at least, it did for the Biology students). Even though I should have felt the pure relief and excitement, it didn't exactly feel that way. Then again, it was probably due to the fact that we did our chemistry paper last, which no other word can describe the paper any better than the word 'hell'. I'm not going to elaborate on the exams though, the important thing is I did what I could. :)

On the last day of the exams, I took the opportunity to wear a pinafore (I borrowed the skirt from Kim - Thanks again Kim!) which made me look... weird, I guess. I also wore a false pair of spectacles (courtesy of Myaa ^___^ Sankyuu!) throughout the final paper, just for the fun of it! I also brought a camera to take photos with friends I will surely miss (not that I'm not going to try my best to keep in touch - it's just that without school, we have no reason for seeing each other at least 5 times a week :/ )

So, after a few photo-taking sessions, majority of us went to Suraya's house for a late Raya celebration. She served curry, satay sauce (a sauce that is hot and made mainly of peanuts, but does not resemble peanut butter, mind you XD) with ketupat, (rice cooked in coconut leaf, that is tied in such a way that it confines the rice to a squarish shape) roti canai (somewhat like a flat, crispy, lightly fried version of the croissant), chicken curry, loads of cakes, and of course, a free flow of drinks! ^___^ Half of us left her place earlier, and the rest of us decided to stay back a while to let the heavy rain pass. We talked about a lot of nonsense and examined Su's rather unique table top which had paper money from various parts of the world.

Some of us then stopped by to visit our Bio teacher, Pn. Jo. Not that it really meant goodbye, it was nice to see her and her children after a long while. I couldn't stay too long though, my mum expected to see me home by 4pm at the most (I kind of promised her to be back by 3, actually XD) because I told her I wanted to catch a movie at night (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire), and she didn't want me out of the house for the entire day. "=____=

Leonard and Shariman followed myself and my youngest sister to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire at 8.30pm. There, we met Jeremy, Wilfred and Faizal, along with Madeline and Zafirah. It wasn't till the end of the movie, however, that we discovered that Ping Ping, Samantha and Choulyin were also in the same cineplex, watching the same movie (Ping said she heard me laughing). I must say, this, by far, is my favourite movie out of the four Harry Potter movies - Daniel Radcliffe definitely improved his acting skills, and the director definitely did a splendid job, despite the fact that the movie was shortened to two hours and fourty minutes, it manage not only to deliver the important parts of the story, but also managed to squeeze in such quirky humour (I actually kind of like Professor Snape this time! XD).

With all the time in the world now, I plan to lay back and enjoy myself, and perhaps get a part time job next year while waiting for the STPM results. I've also to consider what to do after getting my results - but I'm in no hurry. :)

Here's to blogging, and the day's to come ^_^